La Chica del Reporte de Los Tiempos : Más Turbados Times

 La Semaine[$] a venir… doze on this:

Raw Clay and Melted Ice

Germany will never become France, but if you haven’t seen Casablanca, Eye has a bridge to sell Ewe.

Issy-Adelina-Moulineaux, estoy más turbado, más turbado que She-in-Baum ayer.

Nothing To Declare.

Nena tú tienes la culpa… por no usar brassiere.

The good, the misty and thee Flack

Moving on, if American Epic was, “the first time that ””America”” heard itself”, then “Becoming Led Zeppelin” is a prelude to how The United States FELT  “How The West Was Won”, from a Russian’s point of view.

No Quarter.

 

Or, you could go with Dire Straits on/in a loop, because sources close to the Minority Leader on the Rachel MADDOW Show are sure that it’s Vladimir Putin’s favorite rock and roll band.

Any 🦉 hoot, Eddie Gloude Junior… Dave Chappelle walks into a bar, hilarity ensues when Los Hombres G start strumming Project 2025 in the key of “Killing Them Softly with his Sharpie™. It’s a terrible pun but it’s funny how the connection between an “empty chair speech” and a song about seeing someone’s face for the first time… and it turned out to be a LEOPARD that was going to eat your FACE in the FIRST 100 DAYS of the collapse of The Marshall Plan and the Rise of the Guantanamo Bay Deportees Baseball League.

Any güey, mister Macron… how about those fucking camels at The Pentagon, you might not have noticed but Jaguars used to do the law ethos in that polygon-e.

Actually, Donald, Ebony and Ivory is not on the BAD album… it’s on the “nappy-headed boy” anthology.

And no, ASSOCIATED PRESS, no… you don’t get to play with the other outlets because you insist on calling Louisiana’s hot sauce “Tabasco” instead of “Redneck Juice”.

If Alicia Caldwell is still at The AP in El Paso, TX, (UN-Dangling Participle goes here for PREMIUM users) now you know how it feels to be sent to play on the other side of the window where THE PRESS EAT CAKE, mister Macron. Where El Paso, Times, eats cake.

 

The Woman in Red vS La Chica del Bikini Azúl

Behold… and watch how Elon “drains” his MUSK in 5-Bullet-Points.

  • Carolina 🌺 Mugnoz drained Bender Hernández-es tin pipe.

It’s TROU… it’s trou. No Bicycles allowed indoors, period.

 

  • May They! May They !!! Dive’ER Down at The WHINE BAR 🍾 Dive’ER Down at The WHINE BAR 🍸

From the Producers of DREAMS, OU812 and PAN•AM•AH !!!, comes the Algerian saga of OQTF12!

Dive’er Down at The Whine BAR… and why, why can’t this be love, Ali°CIA/Mun°OZ? Güay, mamacita, AMA.

 

  • Aussitôt, 3-Doritos after the Stones AFTER-math, Eye wrote a LUXURY POEM for your racist-Apartheid bloodline.

And Doctor Kavita Pastel, youse such an opportunist, human-to-human, don’t have a COW it’s just A Shot A Way 🦠and like my wise nigga’Michael Steele once said, War-Children get some “shelter” on their way to their individual SLAUGHTER HOUSES of the… anyone? Individual SLAUGHTER HOUSES of the? Holy shit, Symone Sanders, Eye can’t believe it’s not real RAW milk and butter. 

Let Mí Tell Ewe Why This Can’t Be Love — U.ncle S.am 🎷🎷🎷

 

  • Après, a press corps walks into The X-House Correspondents Room, hilarity ensues when a former The BEATLES producer tells Elon Musk that not only is he going to loose that girl, the SPECTOR of Phil assures mister Musk that in prison, he will also lose his subscription to the Hair-Club for fags Hairline… trust Mí, the GO’ils of FUTURO PELO told Armando Segovia so. Eye guarantees, IT!

and

Youse gonna have to blow a lot more than a dirty dozen.

 

… traveling 🌴

  • Silenzio. Right now you are listening to Sheryl Crow’s motorcycle blues, but Jude had to be from Texas to get away with that.

💅 Pretty Karen 🕶️ 🎬
Featuring Susana PubEda 💋
as the bass player’s mom.

Deer, Roxanne… Meet Pearl

Trust Mí. Youse gonna like the way La Clocharderie looks.

But first, the news.

Öüï begins in Canada where Emilia in Paris is reading the INTERNATIONAL PRESSE rearview.

I went to a fight last night, and a hockey game broke out.”

Canadian PM

Justin Trudeau

I can’t even drive 55 in “Ash-spreading mode” menos, 50 in CET.

At the fountain, Atlas Shrugged… and Sammy can’t drive 50 Kays-per-h, but that’s the law. Anyhow, Pablo Torre, what’cha gonna play now?

— The Star Spangled Banner!?  Youse gonna mirror a chunkie mountie in a Ziploc bag, while blasting the Star Spangled Banner at the TRACK!!! Fuck me with a wire brush*, Carvile, where would you like your ashes to be spread, but before you even think about the bayou, Eye suggests Disneyland so that you don’t pollute LSU.

Jesus Built My Hot Rod, it’s a love affair… that’s Ministry, Pablo; Issy-that’s-Yesterdays news.

*~. Slow Horses quote out of context.

Room for other people — The They’b Afta

Anora No, an hora es hora de la novela rusa de Pretty Woman 👠 on the tubes. Anora No, is rated PG~13. No one under 12 will be admitted without a step-sibiling 🛋️.

Traveling at the speed of sound… Alias has to be mindful of the vibrations, one wrong shuffle or heavy foot drop and Timmy would go the way of a Chilean kayaking fool auditioning for the role of Jonah in the Old Jesus version of a bible, which is why “A Complete Unknown” is but a barely perceptible Sound in the Tracks. Wait for the sign Al, wait for it, wait 🌐…

Advertising:

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Gwen Gel Uzi gets in
… because nobody likes
Jealousy, except for Sirens
Which is why you should use
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It’s A Cyclops World 

The They’b Afta.

In the mean while, Ewe don’t have to watch Dynasty if y’all seen “As The World Turns” to know that le meilleur film non-anglophone is also not in Espagnol, and [that] Wild Robots don’t mix with Norbot’s fowl.

Breaking in Paris:
SHAKIRA
Sources close to CNewS relay that Shakira quit The OPUS DEI and Pascal Praud had a little fucking garden gnome visit the Colombian entertainer before a show.

Boy… you’ll be a man soon, but first you must go and take some Spanish courses at your Community College and get a “B”.

 

Soundtrack Synopsis Son by:
Rudy And The New Huevos Rancheros.

Mexican-Americans… 🎶 hang around with Dominicans and form a cartel in San Pedro Macori and groom baseball players for the Los Angeles Dodgers [short-stop roster] in Chávez Ravine.

Room for other people — it’s a Cyclops world

Rue de Rivoli, casi esquina con Clochard Central under Pont Neuf en face à La Moneda.

https :// fip /certains-l-aiment /entretien-avec-valeria-bruni-tedeschi

Read between the lines and call Mí in the Morning before breakfast 🥞.

We begin in Nice, where the Promenade des Anglais-eses are worshipping El Mar ⛵, or something like that.

Over at Ventimiglia, the MIGA movement is making Saturday Night great again.

Venezia!!! — et CARLA Bruni!!! — Y Mozarella!!! quiero tírarme — A VALERIA BRUNI (cha-cha-cha)… Eye wanna be your FANstassi, maybe Ewe could be Mine.

Trastaverina… Roma es | se amoR

Hoy no hubo Bowie. Janis on the other side of that oyster ate Bobby’s clam chowder on, “As The World Turns”.

No insistas Susana, mi corazón es de Bruni.

Scatology, Eschatology, and the Modern Ku Klux Klan Proud Boys

Don’t Think Twice, it’s alright.

Deer Mika, the following is a message from, Marianne… never mind the podcast, it’s “the rejection of political impotence”, stupid*, not the large quantities of senile penile pills and “la lucha libre” on cable tv.

*~. Emphasis mine.

John Bolton moves to Australia.

 

A funny thing happened on the way to Hong Kong, and Katty Kay… RUBIO is Blonde in Chinese Fortune Cookies characters.

Told Ewe, yesterday, that Camilo Cienfuegos was going to put a Blonde one on you… BoB.

Joe Scarborough has the morning off, this is no surprise, Cousin Joe has an iron-clad rider on his Peacock Clause that stipulates that he will have two-out-off Five days in an EIGHT-theys a week calendar to play golf ⛳ or yacht ⛵ along Nantucket.

🍾 it's really Montesquieu's and his “Spirit of Law" fault.

Scatology is the study of shit.

Today is President Thomas Jefferson’s birthday, and if it isn’t then Ewe should read Jefferson’s last letter (plural) to President Adams… let the people choose from the “virtuous and talented aristoi” and the “pseudo aristoi”, well… fast-forward to COP BEATING America, and ICE-T is about to be re-vindicated, in the words of some nigger with attitude, “fuck the police”, Katy Kay, pass the biscuit please.

Eschatology is the study of End Times

…now about the KKK and The Proud Boys, wait one for clearance with Clarence 👨🏿‍⚖️ over at the Supreme Chapter of the New Fascist Court.

In local news, Retired Capitol Police Officer, Michel Fanone is moving to France. It’s True History, Mr. Fanone no longer will receive protective custody and his ass is now a free-for-all in the Land of The Free and The Home of The Brave.

Hello, I’m Armando… and this is my song³-²-¹

³~. Glorious Battle: Srebrenica meets Israel

Los Nuevos indios de la Agence France Presse are called THE GUARDIANS in Oh-hi-O’

Verse One:

The place in the timeline where  a drunk with power Jew takes on the role of a Western Frontier Orthodox Serb defending Jesus Christ’s Second Coming in the Alabama Revival of the Pare de Sufrir gospel de BRASIL.

²~. God: Killing in The Name of A Concept

Verse Two:

… Jump to PAGE 🎸 tú, and never mind The Yard Birds.

³~. Gold

Verse Three (dedicated to Congressperson Joe Scarborough in Nantucket, U.S. in A.).

The smallest fiction on Denisa’s pulp

From the makers of Stein’s Burnt Champagne Cork comes a new product:

STEIN’S BURNT MESQUITE…
call in the next 36 hours
and get a cookie chewed-up by Griezmann.

STEIN’S BURNT MESQUITE… Brown 🟤 up, fuckers.

O como dicen en CrOAsia:

https ://www .radiofrance .fr /francemusique /podcasts /la-quatre-saisons-n-est-pas-qu-une-pizza /souad-massi-6939936

Philadelphia: We Fell Love in a hopeless place, now is a homeless shelter, or something like that.

 

The smallest violin crying for that bass… 🎻 + 1

In local news, the prosecution in the U.S. v. Genaro GarCIA Luna has called their last witness and that’s it, The Chief’s celebrated as expected in Disneyland, because for all the bullshit about American jurisprudence, “membership” has it’s benefits.

Gooooo Navy! Sponsored by the Jeffersons in Paris…

 

In the mean time, Mercury wishes that her HighNess Dora don’t take this the wrong way, Öüï kindly remind you, bitches, that I am only a Messenger, Roger that?



Over at Franche-Musique… Those fucks go on strike for the right to play, “Fuck Your 64″, and Öüï déclare our love for pizza, but that’s only because Saskia went skinny-dipping’ in a Castillian aqueduct.

….

Any thing you can play … I can skip like a fucking puddle.


 

🎵I remember when rock was young — Benny and The Jets

En Hilo, Hawaii, es el día de Los Cocos, los cocos saurios, no Los Cocos de la Ama’ Pola.

To Live and Let Die part Won.

En Paris, Francia… no hay cocodrilos, puros Cocos y caviar de beluga en El Sena, lo que me recuerda… bon appétit, Juancho, en TaMauLipas³!!!

https ://www .bbc .com /mundo /noticias-internacional -62496865… French Coq Sucker’s sacrifice the beluga whale stranded in the Seine river after rescuing it, those motherfuckers.

 

If you think he went swimming of his own volition, then Eye has a cute little train 🚂 in Yucatán for sale. Call now and Öüï will throw in a leg in Raymundo (Comarca Lagunera del Nazas)

I remember when rock was young
Me and Susie had so much fun
Holding hands and skimming stones…

and then the crocodile arrived and how should Eye put this, Sir?

Well, Crocodile Rocking is something shocking
When your feet just can’t keep still…