You are not fooling anyone, Chris Jansing

/r/TodayiLearned

It's Weekend Edition

Previously on, PANAVISION®️ ON A TEE–shirt for Ice-Cube on the Seth Meyers Show: It’s Weekend Edition… —_•!•_— What he said, but in Plural.

Today I Learned, that the cement traffic dividers are called “Jersey barriers”, and according to John Heilemann, the barriers get their name after former governor of the Great State of Frank Sinatra (New Jersey) blocked a BRIDGE to strong-arm a mayor that would not eat doughnuts with (then) Gov. Chrispy.

It’s Round One, and Nicolle Wallace is away from her desk on Deadline because the Purple Pundit is circling El Pancracio in the Title Fight between:

RABBI AND RUSSELL

vS.

NICK AND RICK

Wraslin’ with WaPos follows after Communicating  a Breakdown of a Third Degree murder charge in The Purplest of all the states in The Union: Minnesota.

https ://www .masslive .com /news /2020/05 /minnesota-gov-tim-walz-issues-very-public-apology-for-cnn-crews-arrest-i-failed-you .html

— The bell rings and former Senator Claire McCass and former Republican wrangler Michael Steele narrate the action

—. Sen. McCass:
Russell Moore still has Stephen King’s “The Stand” fresh on his Southern Baptist bookcase and summons the force of “the gentle giant” in that horror story to grab The Information Wars editor in Time after the initial handshake and cinches Rick Stengel by the waist.

—. Michael Steele:
Indeed, Claire. That’s a classic move on the RUDOS playbook. Russell Moore, of course hails from a previous career as stunt double for Frenchspangle actor José García.

Digressión for Chuck Todd:

Word Eye coined today

Word Eye Coined ToThey: FrenchSpangle

Deer, Chuck Todd, Hans Nichols is gone to fight with the Australian Axis, now mo[o]re than Ever YOU NEED MÍ, ON THAT WALL! … call my Agent. But anyhow, Creig Melvin has a towel next to him… don’t throw in the towel Craig! Don’t throw in the Towel, uncle Joe has to take this bout even with all of the WWF tricks.

The dictator’s playbook … when History rhymes

If Donald John Trump could burn certain sites, he’d  be a Klu Klux Klansman burning “Love Me Do” after a “Hard’s Day Night” of making Jack Dorsey even richer with every Tweet.

The Only Ones who benefited from all of the Fab Four records thrown into the bonfire — were — the French Wine industry after NIXing the Current U.S. Secretary of Education (Betsy DeVos) brother, from committing lots, and lots, and lots of CASUALTIES of War in the Third (U.S.) Installment of the Wars in Irak.

And as the 3rd Precinct in Minneapolis burns tonight, in California it’s the last ticks of the Eleventh Hour… go to sleep Avi Velshi, go to sleep, and Marq Claxton of The Black Police Allegiance, please don’t mix anarchists and ‘provocateurs’ in the same batch, technically, sir, that’s like bundling REPUBLICANS and totalitarians in the same F.B.I. Press Conference.

Deer, Lilly Singh: Eye has no beef with you (punto y coma)

However, if you invoke Mí (again) Eye will go through Evry Page in that book that made Christopher Columbus accidentally find “new” Indias.

Munch-ah

Munch–Ah mum–Ah Munch .::. DD4F6F53-9C29-432C-98B2-630718CED99B 📎 It’s a TromBone! And if you took 6th grade French classes on the Late Show last night across The Atlantic, then you know that the Paris Hilton doppelgänger screengrab is a Re-Run from April, 15th… the Day that the Titanic went down.

https ://old .reddit .com /r /mexico /comments /gnn2sy /LA_PÁGINA_DEL_PROYECTO_DE_NACIÓN _DE_MORENA_ES:

Can you spot him

Can you spot the UnMasked asshole in charge?

Love Gun

Öüï  could give RESIDENTE pena ajena and that Bad Bunny a warm fuzzy. Issy… Eye Was Made For Lovin’ You, —Baby.

BATTLE STATIONS! — Relay to all editors D.A.T.
This is not a subliminal message,
on Deadline.
“It’s Twue! It’s Twue!”
It will add Three inches

Nick Confessore’s secret is out! .::. A9C6CFEA-5C85-42E6-AF38-8D1B8465B306 🍆 Wearing a face mask during Coronavirus times adds THREE Whole INCHES to your schlong.

P.S.: So, Mr. Meyer, you think that you can just shoo u.s. over to the next time slot in the programming? Not just yet, Sir, öüï still have to take A Closer Look, if you know what Eye means; AUSSI, Sethy Boy, Lupillo Rivera asked Mí to relay to your writing Monkees, D.A.T. “Daddy Yankee” is a fag.

Deer, Michael Steele, former RNC Chair… on DEADLINE

The following must be read in a Rosanne Rosanadana voice:

Monday, May 20th, 2020
22h40
Paris, France

Dear, Mr. Steele,

First of all, you are not fooling anyone, we have it on good authority that you, Sir, is behind all that Ruckus in “The Digital Underground”… ISSY, öüï also know that you “once got busy on a Burger King”, eh!

And D.A.T.’s o.k., so long as you didn’t get busy on the TaxPayer’s dime, so tell me (that’s a translated segue, Mr. Meyers!) Mr. Steele, how can an American HOMELESS ex–pat in Paris get to vote on the next General Election; as a Veteran of a Foreign War, at the DAWN OF A POSSIBLE CIVIL WAR, do we still count?

_+_+_+_+_+

In Local News:

Anne Hidalgo is an environmentalist goddess.

Following the French version of the Corona lockdown and, while La Jornada and BFM’er TV had their sights locked on a motherfucking beauty salon, the Parisian Mayor went ahead and took back (for the sake of the Polar bears) a big stretch of the asphalt at la rue de Rivoli and assigned, IT!, to cyclists, leaving the three–lane traffic way to one line (assigned) for buses and POV’s*.

https ://www .jornada .com .mx /2020/05/19 /opinion /a04a1cul

The positive “EMINENT DOMAIN” of the road stretches from her place of work to the Place where de Front National patriarch usually gives his chauvinist speech before the May Day parade.

_+_+_+_+_+

Coming Attractions:

Maya Rudolph (D-CA), auditions for the role of Wanda Sykes. Ms. Sykes is the front–runner on this most non–consequential blog for the role of Veep on the Biden Lane.

Previously on Subliminal Messages with Nick Confessore

Good morning, Mr. Meyer, it’s a good thing that there is no Late Night on Fridays as it allows the staff of this most non–consequential blog to catch up on other targets.

Play it again, Ace–Eh

“Play it again,” Ace–Eh .::. 3796D369-83D5-47A2-9657-671366816A6F 🎻 ISSY, ese, if you are wondering what this screengrab has to do con las noticias de México vistas por un transnacional californiano, producto de la S.E.P., look no further than Acapulco, because Elvis Presley did a version of Narciso Serradell’s  “La Golondrina” (but with different lyrics arranged for the “King’s”  melody)… just sayin’ because, (motherfuckers) the song is not credited at the next to last frame of the credits of this extraordinary flick that serves as COMPLEMENTARY VIEWING for “The MAN IN THE HIGH CASTLE”, and if you understand the alternate universe plot in that made–for–small screen series, then Mr. Seth Meyers, you will understand why the good doctor, Doogie Howser M.D. is dressed in full alternate universe NAZI regalia… complementary reading for THE BUZZFEED CROWD (so that Mr. Stanton can have his media monkeys do an online article on these trivia bits) is The Case of COLONIA DIGNIDAD, in Chile, and the historical records from all of the nazi criminals of war who settled in the late 1940’s and 1950’s in Argentina, Brazil, Paraguay, Uruguay, and of course The Great state of Michigan in the U.S. of A… so yeah, Eye can see why Denise Richards would have a Hispanic name in this alternate universe.

https ://www .semana .com /mundo /articulo /el-hitler-del-sur /33644-3

And for the record, Sir, Eye sees what you did D.A.R.E. with the recommendation to watch Starship Troopers, one of the most underrated movies of all times; next to Edge of Tomorrow, of course. Anyhow, Mr. Meyer, ghee-whiz the nuances of that story, my favorite part is when Romeo (pilot #1) gets the Vlad The Impaler treatment from one of the bugs (punto y coma) before revisiting the movie my favorite part of the flick was hearing all of the Hispanic names of characters played by people whiter than that “Friends” sitcom, but hey, for historical reference and/or a capsule of that time (the 1990’s) it makes sense that the people sharing a hip loft in New York City be white, as their rich parents probably paid the fucking rent for them, except for Joey, and that’s all that Eye will say about D.A.T. for fear of being forced to “sleep with the fishes”, and because you, Sir, don’t read this most non-consequential blog, we are sure that you know exactly what öüï is talking about.

L'Equipe

L’Equipe que Philippe Labró .::. BE5065BD-77C7-47AD-9598-C82278F6C0C2 🛰 Thanatos vía Satellite

_+_+_+_+_+

Anyhow, John Oliver, this time NEXT WEEK, when you will be enjoying your day off, you Ferris Bueller you, there will bee* over 100,000 American deaths because the president of them united states LOST all of his fucking marbles. Heck, “His” majesty is now (Eye did knot know if a simple country lawyer might have noticed, D.A.T.) having the White House Press Club ‘bow down’ to a BOOM microphone if they want to ask the “King” of the Rosen GARTEN a fucking question. Eye tell you AP guy; the president of them united states has turned you into his own personal Audioslave corps.

And Cousin Joe, Eddy Currents below —the underground of— the old National Center for Space Exploration are at a MAX now that activities in Paris (at least along the common public places) are back to normal, sort of. It seems that way along the Seine anyhow, where the beautiful ones have adopted, it seems, a Donald John Trump’s attitude towards wearing a fucking Cubre Bocas.

Time–delayed Sunday edition

Time–delayed Sunday edition. After a nap, it’s Mano Negra vS. Rob Zombie.

And why wouldn’t THEY, L’Equipe de Le Parisien is working hard to slowly but surely, Cousin Joe, to turn All The Young Frogs into Vince McMahon’s army of one–round CATCH fans. Anyhow, MONSIEUR Brontis à la préfecture de Cité (Metro Line 4) don’t mind shooting the messenger, we [the staff] are already dead. Go ahead and finish the job.

Subliminal Messages with Nick Confessore

Note to editors:
Somebody, anybody. Please remind The New York Times that there are 8 year-olds watching the Purple Pundit’s 2-hour after home school special. Jesus Christ, Nick, it’s 3 o’Clock in NEW YORK.

El padrino

El Padrino .::. 35771037-1F46-49B3-B581-B880DB2733EE 📐 “Late Night” kicks off the Seth Meyers era by welcoming guests Amy Poehler, Vice President Joe Biden, and a performance by A Great Big World… and for the record, “ninos” and “ninas” are the terms of endearment that niños and niñas used in Old Mexico to refer to their padrinos o madrinas you ungrateful ahijado you.

Aussi, is that 12″ reference in “gentile” units or are öüï etching with The Torah clippings here; do confess, “Nick”, because Michael Che and Mr. Johannsen are making a “movie” and they are in need of a leading man, —holmes!

From the band that brought you, Alice

From the band that brought you, “Alice”, comes a movie about a man W.H.O. breaks all the rules on deadline .::. 6EE52D56-1053-4E2E-9BF4-755CAC8B00C9 📰 Weekdays at 4 pm Eastern, 1 o’Clock Pacific.

_+_+_+_+_+

180° from 2020 to 2011 … Pateando Piedras

The good thing about this blog is that former Attorney General, Eric Holder, does not read it, but the best feeling about writing this sketch from Paris, France, right now, in 2020, is that we get to revisit 2011 for The PRESIDENT of the Administrative Tribunal in Paris.

*revolution

*revolution .::. 3C64C2EA-FB3D-45D6-B477-C309B32F19E6 💨 “Ahhhhhh—you say you want a revolution, oh well…”, please refer to item *227, then give Mí, a call.

For the record, “Fast & Furious“ one of the very consequential political threads that lead me, Armando Segovia, to knock on the door of the French Consulate in Los Angeles, California, in 2010 to see about documenting a Six–Year POLITICAL ELECTION PROCESS in Paris, during the Year of Mexico in France IS BACK IN THE NEWS.

Indeed, for all intent and purposes, it could be argued that during the Spring of 2011, the political party of the current Mexican President, Andrés M. López Obrador, was not officially constituted… but they (morena) did navigate Paris with the multi-purpose flag of a “Frente Amplio”, and the very mention of asking a question that included the words “Mexican army and Ciudad Juárez”, could and would get anybody blacklisted from “el movimiento”, which would in 2018 be renamed “La Cuarta Transformación”.

La nota de Bernardo

La nota de Pantalion Films en Santa Monica de Churubusco, California. .::. 69F1A23E-74B4-49A1-8A92-71D9C07F768C 🌬 Paragraph V: In the diplomatic scribbles, ambassador (chancellor) Ebrard pointed out that U.S. (governmental) agencies show that the operation (Fast & furious) bagan its implementation towards the end of 2009 (during the governments of Calderón and Obama).

At this point in this section of the blog it should be noted that the focus of this post will not be on the forner Attorney General of The United States and the ATF’s involvement on a Crisis called “Fast & Furious”, sorry about that; but i will revisit AMLO’s people issue with getting the Mexican army back on the streets.

Additionally, it should be noted that along with that particular presidential decree (the army on the streets) AMLO’s Foreign Relations minister (and former Hillary Clinton‘s Latino outreach go-to-guy) is requesting from THE TRUMP administration that they release all of the files and records available regarding the weapons running program Rápido y furioso. How convenient, eh‽  The government of Mexico opening old wounds to dismiss any criticism from one of the promises that got AMLO the top post in the Mexican federation, while indirectly hitting the flanks of the Obama Administration on the same 72 hours of the week when Donald John Trump is letting his personal political lawyer, attorney general William Barr, loose on a lie called “obama gate”.

Why it matters… after a nap, i’ll let you know, but before that here is a paraphrased echo from 2016:

If someone tells you that they have the Mexican vote, you better believe that MARCELO is going to fight for it.

_+_+_+_+_+

Dangling Participles 101 • Intro to Tying the known unknowns

Robin Hood dix it!

Robin Hood dix it! So don’t go shooting the flute player, the drum beater or that guideon bearer; It’s  Time for the Brickmakers March in Emmaus, PA, via la Rue des Bourdonnais… on the msnbc’s. (You love mí, you really really love mí).

April 2011

Ras de Bol en Trocadéro meets “Estamos hasta la madre” en el Instituto Cervantes de París.

The VE–Day After… it’s the 11h in CET

¡Alarma!
The Chaos Doctrine

Beyond Klein’sShock Doctrine” .::. F1CE40F9-3A1F-49D5-8419-CA71CDF985D6 🎞 SILENZIO… 🎥 Action!!!

Alármala de tos…

Framing of the news travels faster than a supersonic bird in the sky, especially on an election year threatening to split the results in a three-güey race (punto y coma) case in point and not to be outdone by Axios TV’s,  Alexi Mccamond, a “Business Insider” with ties to the “Underground Railroad” took the viewer all in with a very bold, and very bronze classic frame D.A.T. is heavy enough to say to the soccer moms*: “Look At Me! I am woman, hear my claim.”

https ://eu .usatoday .com /story /news /politics /onpolitics /2019/05/22 /harriet-tubman-20-bill-delayed-2028-mnuchin-says /3769291002/

Where is my TWENTY?

Where is my TWENTY? .::. 0FE20456-CD5F-4B50-9FFC-798BD17ED7D6 💸 If you think that the 2028 postponement of the Harriet Tubman note was an “unintended” consequence of the 2016 General Election, watch out for the third equine in the democratic race because along with the Reverend Al Sharpton’s Donkey a little pony waited until AFTER the dust settled to show his true colors…

* The Karen demographics.

Uno, dos, tres,…

“I’m Orvis Goodnight, record producer… I spent $3.5 million for that stucco castle over there and I don’t get the same (police) protection that Dave Whiteman gets”

Twenty Minutes:

Little Richard, CRÉATEUR DU ROCK’N’ROLL, est mort à 87 ans

Botellita de Jerez,
en la voz de
Barack H. Obama

Deer, Nicole Wallace, 🎶 Close your eyes And forget your name…

A.B. Stoddard looks like a mannequin wearing a face mask; Donald Trump, on the other hand looks like a fucking duck.

… and that is all Eye is going to say.”

—Nahhh! For the record, Eye will confess that öüï are going to shave our fucking beard off, now Evry body wants to have pelos on his chin…

Anyhow, A.B., Eye is not one to step on Ice-Cube’s drafting degree from the University of Phoenix, or something like D.A.T.! But your chimney is not “on the level” (punto y coma) now Eye is not an architect .:., heck Eye can’t even spell the motherfucking title, but, and it’s a pretty motherfucking LEVELED but, we [the staff] know a thing or two about how to lay a foundation… a good motherfucking Foundation and a few things about how wind (drafts) affect tilted chimeneys. 

DRUMS ONLY

So… Mr. Set(h), Eye sees that you brought in a “column” expert for the « little sloped doors » in your attic, and yet you, —of all peacocks— know D.A.T. 

a² + b² = see stoddard, eh!

a perfect triangle… or at least the hypotenuse for it!

so there is no excuse for that drummer of yours to not hit the COWBELL! Be advised that we will not stop pounding THE WAR BASS DRUM until that portlandia fellow strikes the cowbell… more cowbell, set(h). cowbell for freedom.

https ://en .wikipedia .org /wiki /Dave_Lombardo

And wait for, IT! Wait… Zeppelin goes here ⬇️

On Missouri news… Sen. McCass is getting into the home Tortilla selling business.

Page 2…

Former Senator from the Great State of Missohrrah, Claire McCass, got re-acquainted with an old “friend” and after a long conversation with herself decided to try a new hobbie, she flipped through her cooking manual and decided on Corn Tortillas. 

“And now… as Paul Harvey would say, you get a visual of “the rest of the story,” but FIRST, not to be outdone by the The State of Sinaloa, The Great State of Georgia is trying to Catch–up to what a gated-community self-appointed vigilante started in The Great State of Florida.

En “relevos” australianos

LUCHA vS. CHOLE… ahora en “relevos” australianos… desde Maracaibo (vía) Brasilia .::. 271A1BA3-3E29-4D30-A478-CEC3A5D50429 🎥 CUT!!! Excellent job, Justice Ginsburg (punto y coma) NOW, motherfuckers, W.H.O. da’FUCK FLUSHED “el toledo ²*” del supremo In The Justice’s residential john? Which one of you swinging robed-dicks FLUSHED THE john???

Reporting from The Motherfucking Twilight Zone: “El Coronel¹*

Yup! Kat Williams described the scene in Hip–hop realism and magical detail, and for those with Latin “i’s” to see they will be able to confirm that when you party with Mexicans, “the celebration goes on for Weeks!”

 

And as the Godfather of Soul found out, an 85th Birthday can be the perfect ICE Storm to celebrate Mothers Day on the West End side of The Atlantic on map.

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Must show work section of the Test, “Beyond The Outer Limits”:

Up is Down

Up is Down… The West Wing episodes. .::. D6212F69-1637-4611-9CC3-98589088D05E 🗺⚖️

 

1* In this realm and in the next, as the Nobel Laureate Zimmermann would relate, on “the” CBS’eses, we [the staff] can split nomenclatures, and ALIAS–es like El General Villa did, por ejemplo Miss Santanico Pandemonium, for this sketch, el rol de “El Coronel” se lo ejecuta Fernando CianHEROtti / Fernando Luján. 

2* “toledo” is an “pochismo” at Beto’s playground in D.A.T. D.A.R.E. “West Texas Town of El Paso”, casi esquina with, “the badlands of New Mexico”, for what them BRITS call « the Loo », indeed. For the record, in this blog Lalo González “Piporro” is a fucking God, and Tin Tan, “El Supremo”, so, motherfuckers, before any “chihuahuita” activist gets all of his or her panties in a bunch, know that El Vez has cleared the Word “Pocho” for all of the new LatinX community.

Horax del milenio: