Author Archives: Armando Segovia

Ol’ Joséphine-Monroe-Krispy Cream

d.A.R.E. you go again, Marjolena… Squeezing a tear onto my frozen cheeks.

🎹

With a love like THat, you know you-should-be glad,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,
Yeah, Yeah, Yeah.

She Loves You

Master Slave Husband Wife meets Man Bear Pig

Deer, Lorde, as probably the first American captive³ in France, I must say, and I’ll quote, “Goddamn!!! », I have seen French bashing before, but let Mí tell Ewe, mister Rosecrans Baldwin, I have never seen it full-frontal and with a hole on the dough, it’s trou 🕳️.

Republicans revive the Monroe Doctrine in the US Congress, meanwhile in Tennessee, a fútbol anglosajón coach is working overtime to undermine the stick behind the carrot and Southern charm.

Yeah, Yeah, Yeah… Yeah.

 

And, mister Macron, do you believe in typos, are you a grammar Nazi, do you, Sir, enjoy dangling participles and false friends in interpretation? If you do, will you be waiting in line with former New Jersey Governor, Kris Krispy under Le Canopée newspaper rack on 6 December?

³~. Art. R-776 (Comedia d’Enredos) and other assorted conflicts of interests at the Préfecture de Police.

Öüï now returns, to The Jesuit-run Saint Mary’s Military Academy in Tokyo 🗼🍩

Previously on, Mika’s Ice Rink next to a housing development

It’s Six Degrees of ”Bâtiment 5” and « A Thousand And One », sponsored by François Hollande and “My Niggas In Paris”… got Bacon? That was only two degrees, and a joint on the wall, details at Nine.

Note to editors: please be aware that this here is authentic, because it’s a work in progress.

But first, way before there was an Adrien Brody playing the role of “Matador” there was Jackie Rohr turning into Kevin Bacon, a corrupt venerated pig on The Circus* former circuit: Showtime.

*~. The Circus was a show born out of the Trump era in Las Vegas, it was canned two wks ago, but that’s only because they catered to latte-liberals and U.S. “ex-pats” in some pretentious Parisian bistro, heck, a trip to the Google machine under “Wallmart people” was more real than a vision from Heileman.

I am not going to shoe Ewe the hole in the wall, but here’s, Juanito:

The real super fly Bond³ — Grave diggin’ in Burlington, Vermont

³~. For the record, fuck Alabama and their Tide… and Harvard, —Aussi.

And, Katty Kay… Alabama got me so upset, do you remember why I told Mick Jagger about Le Corbusier? Exacltly, Katty, exactly, and this is why I Hate The Sixties and Derek and The Dominos. Any monkey can write about Murder and I hope that Ewe can guess my name.

 

But nevermind the preliminaries, Juan-Bautista Urbano, because Live From The Jesuit-run Saint Mary’s Military Academy in Tokio (also dubbed as The National Défense Academy of Japan) is Fire At-Will and remember, Max Dozolme, I buried Titus, ask Doctor Poisson, she knows where I buried that pussy-cat.

And now let’s dig a Grave (pronounced in Castellano, not en Hebrew or Israel main export 🪦), an Acute, and a flat ass tortilla.

El próximo toro le corresponde a Duke Ellington, never mind The Caravan, take the A-Train por el redondel.

But first, Tomorrow in French theaters, “The Real Thanksgiving”… the only good ‘injun is Palestinian.

The Vanity of The Tents.

And, Mika, Except for that Spanish fellow, fuck all Pablos on God’s Green Earth. For the Record, Torre, I used to bullfight in TorreON, so your little Harvard lapel pin does not even impress the soccer guy from Rosbifland.

VOstF... 🎶

And now, let’s find out… if Torre shows up on Friday.

Synopsis:

Séneca and El Cordobés are sitting on Barrera de Sombra, hilarity ensues when Bob Dylan improvisés an espontáneo and jumps to El Ruedo de la monumental plaza de toros de Lerdo. El Cordobés and Seneca were arguing about the actual existence of un tal Homère, which El Cordobés argues that if Homère in fact existed, he would be a blind beggar playing tricks at La Samaritaine under The Pont Neuf, and not someone that Cervantes or Shakespeare would look up to.

Ba’ia, Vaya, Bahia ya le quitarón El “ito” a « Juan* »

Très Tristes Feminas en rfpp . net

Deer, Denis Soula, you son of a bitch!

No He, can ever feel, like a woman.

Estimadas doctas de la luz folklórica de la Luz de Anoche, con todo respeto, no se puede ni se le debe dar un nombre propio a un pseudónimo.

Formalizar el pseudónimo de Francisco* con “Juan” distorsiona la realidad de un jefe de madrinas y policía especial mexicana, pero en fin las particularidades de la chicanerie de la palabra, son como dicen los franceses, una mamada.

https ://www .france24 .com /en /france /20231125- 20231125-thousands-march-in-france-to-condemn-violence-against-women

In local news, Juan Wannabelmont invited a translator to his radio show on RFPP.nst, hilarity ensues when those two discuss false friends and jargon alluding to the funny side of rape… now maybe is not in plain sight, but that is only because it’s French Public radio.

De cualquier manera, una mexicana que fruta vendía, llegó una colombiana y ya no puse atención de dónde proviene la otra emprendedora. En fin chingue a su madre él o la, que no baile.

Happy Sunday, “juan”.

April 1st, 1807 — Joséphine

Well ❤️‍🩹, I’ll be damned … Mercy, mercy, mercy, — Mí.

VOstF. “That Slut! », verbatim.

 

I swear to Wellington, Katie Phangs… Ridley Scott Free’s, Napoléon, is the greatest movie ever made about Marie Josephine Rose Tasher de La PAGErie, alias “Josephine de Beauharnais”, according to the nécrologie of Stanley Kubrick on the obituary of El Mundo de Le Monde (pp. 30 – 31, Mar. 10, 1999).

The Golden Croissant Award

The Golden Croissant Award

Now, the good thing about this most non-consequential blog is that Eye is not a movie critic, but Eye did visit Malmaison, Waterloo, and that big’Ol urn in front of the Unesco siege at Invalides.

En cautiverio.

…

Eye sees your stupid little “CiviliSAtions”, Cardinale ♦️ Lemoine³

³~. And I, Armando Segovia, raise you la rue Mouffetard and all of the bitches playing Strip Bingo there.

15h30… That’s only the fourth hour of my cocoa puffs news hour siesta in CET.

But first… It’s the jungle necessities of the book, or something like that 🍯 any how, it used to go by the BoBar, and then—I forgot what Vilma Fuentes called that joint, but for François a la patate’s sake, we have already established it as just another coq en París.

https :// the coq bar .com /asegovia3.com /23 /10/ 06

On Tú They’s Menu

 

I swear that I don’t choose the Mothers of Frank’s Invention, I just Zapp’em.

Ladies in Gemini: El elefante de Beaubourg

 

And in local news, hoy no hubo jazz.

Thanksgiving, a nécrologie on Focus starring the Pau Lines on france24

Parallel obituaries:

Stand with the midget, the giant is about to fall.

https ://www .radiofrance .fr /fip /podcasts /club-jazzafip/alors-on-danse –3912204

Once in a lifetime his clothes are dirty, but his Hands are clean, unlike dos of Denis Soula and his dancing Monkees on the Jazz-ah-s[h]ip …

Quantum Lepes chran°geando en La Mazane de Tu-habrigo… la hache es muda en Tubrigo de Montorgueil, casi esquina con Mi Carnal Marcelo, Étienne.

 

https ://youtu.be /1jmNzlTd09E ?feature =shared

McManus was so bad, he once took out 35 cumbia jocks with a single güiro. Rumor has it, that each raya on that dry calabaza was better than Number one With A Bullet. got my finger on the Quantic and, Bang 🎉 Président Kennedy’s Lincoln-Continental quema cocos was filled with confetti from the cheering crowds that lined up from the gates of the Benito Juárez International Airport and all the way to Los Pinos in 1962.

Oscar was a fag.

Many-worlds interpretation

Musical guest, The Eels.

Eighteen Hundred and Eighty Eight… by the numbers:

one,two, three, four, five, six, seven … 😉 Oswald was a fag.

McManus

1888, the letters on the sky:

We are nearing the the limit of all we can know about astronomy.

And in local news, inspired by Keyser Söze, Houthi rebels kidnapped The Galaxy in the Red Sea… where is your Moses now “New York Finest Taxi Service”?

7×5 equals Eight, because 3+5 son Ocho.

Must Show Work.

Overlooked

https ://www .infobae .com /mexico /2023 /11 /21 /identifican-a-los-dos-mexicanos-que-estaban-a-bordo-del-buque-galaxy-leader-secuestrado-en-el-mar-rojo/

Simone Newcomble.

Once in a lifetime…

… and Then Is Soula, if you can line up today’s view with an alternative fip, Eye will stop call[ing] Ewe, a son of a bitch (not really) but just go with the Wave 🌊.

“Oswald was a fag”… The Usual Suspects

It’s Napoleon’s opening they in France.

To The Préfecture and beyond Cité… I owe it to myself to take apart Les Invalides. And I am going to start at the Siege in front of Bonaparte’s ash-receptacle, la unesco 🕊️.

 

In local news, there’s a new rage in the small communes in France, it’s call “The Freddy Cats” shuffle, and critics are rating it as « l’ensauvagement » of the Hexagon, said France’s Interior Minister, Gérald Darmanin.

 https ://www .telegraph .co .uk /world-news /2023 /11 /20 /crepol-drome-southern-france-village-fete-teenager-killed/

‘Bloodbath’ at French village [party] as youths from deprived suburb kill 16-year-old

“A new threshold has been penetrated,” said the National Rally leader, Marine Le Pen, sources close to the wanna-be Milei de Neuilly-sur-Seine relay that as soon as she becomes the next President of La France (that bitch) she will immediately bestow a Légion of Honor Chevalier de Tout medal on the artist Freddy Cats for having the vision to steal “des milices armées” like the sicarios from Ciudad Juárez that amused polite French society in Montreuil-sous-Bois in 2011.

After the break it’s “Fixing a grifo³ in France”, it’s square dancing for the little towns in Crépol (Drôme).

³~. grifo adj … in Bukele’s, El Salvador, and in López Obrador’s Mexico lindo y querido, a grifo is slang for, stoned, wasted, or just plain high.

“There Ewe Go Again,” it’s another edition of Reefer Madness, now in VOSTF.

The good thing about all of this savagery is that according to the Paris prefect, mister Lolo Nuñez-Belda, “there is no such thing as a crack cocaine epidemic,” in his lair.

And in Washington National, sappy movie creator of When Sally Fucked Harry fame turns JFK’s conspiracy theories into a Happy Days episode and makes Arthur Fonzareli the most wanted fugitive in Wisconsin.

Fonzie has an alibi, Arthur was shacking Joanie Cunninham while Marion and Howard were out at Al’s Thanksgiving dinner at his diner.

… thanks for watching. Happy Turkey Day across The Atlantic.

Novembre 21st, 2023… Maggie & Savile*e

*~. Sorry if the marble man misscribed yer’ misinformation.

Only the good get an obituary.

Have a nice Lemire day, turkeys.
Öüï’s heading over to Scarborough.

And, Cousin Joe… Ronald Reagan was the Pepsi Light version of full-fledge fascist Coca~Cola. But it’s the holiday season so why worry about Reagan International Airport, eh.

Next on the Melle. Pitch Award…

Hot DuckTurKin

… ask Katty Kay, she knows, and Jimmy saw hers too.

 

No llores por mi Jimmy Carter — Happy Birthday, Mister President

Note to editors:

In Hilo, Hawaii, it is still President’s Day and in Paris, France, there is going to be a shortage of CocAinE for the next trimester following the historic sentencing of PUBLIC SERVANTS in the pockets of la mafia Calabresa, Bravo Italia!!! Now legalize Marihuana and the world will be a more sustainable place.

Dog’ma Diner and breakfast, no bed-no refund.

and, Pau Paccard, please relay to Hélèna FRADE (at 09h30 CET) que, ISSY-this-blog-is-made-possible-with-the-kind-assistance—of The Préfecture de Police— and their differently assorted benevolent madrinas at the Paris TOURISM board.

And, Pauline, Christophe DANSETTE is not fooling anyone, Öüï can clearly see that he is the illegitimate basterd’ spawn of Alejandro Jodorowski… Christophe is the long-lost “topillo de la Santa Sangre”.

And starring as president-elect Javier 🐍 Milei from Argentina 🇦🇷, Joaquín Phoenix in the role of a bicorne-wearing excentric.

A La Una, a las dos y… 🎶 Happy Birthday Mister President, happy birthday to Ewe. POTUS turns 81 and in México, his counterpart celebrates Henry Lane Wilson Day, over in Waco, Texas, Donald Trump, if elected again promises to bring back Ambassador Lane Wilson back from Concordia Cemetery 🪦 in El Paso, Texas, where the Manifest Destiny agent is buried with Gral. Víctor y Ano Tuerto.

 

But first, not to be outdone by our inter°net°work présentation, [Y]esterday, and also our useless art re-cycle improvisation on Thursday, The New York Times filled a room with double monitors, and sold the world a pretty 🖼️ frame for Each soul that bought that Bridge, wait for it, —wait…

Coming up: All The Pretty Frames 🎞️

… congratulations to former Mexican narco- presidents Vicente FOX and mister Felipe de Jesús Calderón Hinojosa for the victory of Javier Milei en La Plata, y por supuesto en Las Islas 🇬🇧 Malvinas, —también 🪖🪖🪖.