Breaking News: Cousin Joe is the new Rulher of MSNBeeSeas

Previously on los aguacates de (haass):

Agent Angle reports

Agent Angle reports 🥑 44D3C604-8F28-4E89-B619-5EF38D7D921C 🦞 As the world turns and as y’all know, Greengold is the Hawaiian variety of avocados, but Eye knows nothing about that, but Eye is willing to bet Stephanie Rhules smile, on the fact that all avocados have strings attached, but like them deciduous baby dientes, the strings (vascular network from the avocado tree to the fruit) give way to a different stage in the development of an avocado… humans get chompers, and haas avocados get creamier.

The Situation was put in charge of the avocado distribution logistics for the Souper Bowl. Needless to say, D.A.T. D.A.R.E. motherfucker fucked up the port of entry authority by sending the cargo that originated in Lázaro Cárdenas, Michoacán, to a final destination in the Isle of Jersey, U.K., instead of New Jersey, U.S. of A.

For the record, the first thing that the European market should know about the Avocado Club is, D.A.T. you always talk about the Avocado Club, por ejemplo, Carol Anne, people should not throw away the avocados that they purchased at their local supermarket on account of the strings that you discovered on your most recent purchase, but if you do, please let u.s. know the next thyme you plan on prepping a guacamole bowl, aussi, the secret to a killer guacamole is a dash of comino, for every aguacate half in the bowl.

Por ejemplo, Eddie Gloude, Jr… pay no attention to the navigation manifest in the Agent Angle report, because the trip advisor did not factor in the weather advisory and the fact that The Situation couldn’t even find out where ROMA is on a map and that sonovabitch is a Woppy-guinea-goomba bambino from The Shore.

So, when thyme came to ask for a Sit-rep on the arrival of the cargo de Lázarus, The WHO immediately pointed their fingers to The Boss, meanwhile in France, the price of avocado (haass) dropped to a ridiculous low Price, the result of The Situation’s fuck up over on the DC coast.

One of the first things that the prestigious Council of Avocado Relations did to get to the bottom of this colossal fuck-up was to call all of the Families for a SitDown at Gino’s place, —In IRELAND!

Ambassador Brzezinski

Gentlemen, The Jersey Shore extends a most sincere apology for The Situation’s fuck-up, to make up for our failure to properly train our logistical operation captains on how to read a fucking MANIFEST’s destiny, Öüï will be including an additional LOT of Jamaican Greengold on every ship until FAT TUESDAY is gone.

On today’s menu

Chilly con carne a la italiana with a side of Avocado (haass) and Camembert. Ketch-up if you can.

… [A]nnnnnnd, we’re back — kind of

The following Halloween presentation is being brought to y’all, by WEST drive-thru FUNERALS.

WEST drive-thru FUNERALS, where Donnie Deutsch will make a brand name of your loved ones.

and now the rest of the story

and now the rest of the story… narrated by a young María Teresa Kumar 🎃 DB0650D6-81C1-492D-8518-123C206D35E7 .:. Full disclosure, IMDB provides only one motherfucking single snapshot that features a Young Jason Johnson. Still, we [the staff] will continue to follow LAS CAUSAS that drove Jason to go haywire on the PM Joy.

Attention all Sirens, inform all of the units that a disgruntled Jason Johnson has abducted Mexican Lucha Libre super-dupper Legend, SANTO, and turned a “El Enmascarado de Plata” into a fucking little pumpkin.

Sources close to Tiffany (Blue) Cross relay that the disgruntled “The Root” reporter se PUSO flamenco after PM Joy rushed his black ass into RIGHTING a BOOK

Jason was last seen wearing a Yellow Tie, and people WHO know… [K]now D.A.T. D.A.R.E ain’t no going Back now.

Y por si sobrara menos, Donnie Deutsch… d.a.t. motherfucker, por no decir, ese i’jo-eh puta, went ahead and donned Silver (the color of SANTO) and invited himself into Mika’s business-es-es. The audacity of that son of a bitch… EVRY body knows that blood suckers can’t invite themselves into the scene, that’s what DUENDES are for.


And in the Role of Jerry Only: Walter Isaacson

Turkey is not the enemy

Turkey is not the enemy… this fucker is .:. 757BFCE4-6057-4258-8884-FB5F46CB2BEC * Ask Mí how.


Dear, Paola Ramos… it’s Weekend Edition

Dear, Pao, please inform Latino U.S.A., that “coyotes” are what Cuban-american terrorists use to circumvent “black-ops” from Congress, DONC(key)…

The proper term to use for the “middle-men” involved in crossing Central American [mostly] families is:

POLLEROS, pronounced, po•YE•ros.

With this in mind, “Hear Yeh, hear yeah!”:

Tom Hanks is The Devil, and that sonovabitch is back from a Bachelor Party… this here, Jonathan LeMire is the sketch that our deer Lorde Lorne is not willing to run on his Saturday night live Show, which prompts to beg, or questions the following, did you enjoy the Session of “los amigos invisibles?”… [E]ye aimed to please.

BUT FO’ist, öüï now return to our most non-consequential Halloween Horror Special:

Eye knows what Mitch did Last Summer.

Senate Mayority Leader, Mitch McConnell (R–KY) spends the Summer all along the Florida coast line impregnating pretty Sea Turtles…Mitch couldn’t FUCK’em All, but that son-of-a-bitch did manage to knock 1 in every 44 turtles along that fucking State.

The storyline is yet another bastardization of the Epic of Elpenor (look it up) which öüï went ahead and hijacked from Chapters 10-11 of a cuento called The Odyssey, or something like that. The twist in this churro radica en que en vez de utilizar a los cerdos como sirenas, en este sketch the staff used a tortoise (Mitch McConnell) en el sincretismo, —yeah, doña Tati.

Hey, Motherfuckers! It’s Saturday Knight

BALD POWER! 🥊🎾 🥁🎸it seems Mr. Goldblum, that Deer LORNE grew a pair… White jack must follow.


WynoDix… pronounced Öüï•no•Dis. It’s very timely, —Knot ironic— that Jack’s pila está bien apretada, Eye likes it, but isn’t anybody going to help that poor man with his drum set? He’s going to bust his back (punto y coma).

Three Souls in My Mind is on stage right now, aPriétame más… pure power, and Eye hopes that The Animals, Deer Lorde, “don’t let Mí bee misunderstood,” period.

Heard on one of them New York Minutes:

I don’t give a damn about the Poles…

2 sets later the Pole takes

Boulogne-Billancourt, by storm, and y’all know that Öüï can’t make this shit up.

https ://apnews .com /article /french-open-archive-tennis– 21fa12f9c13c9a9fcc9159dd681b0b43

And now, el reporte del tiempo from 30 Rock’s outhouse over at channel 4… “el cuatro”:

More penises are appearing on TV and in film – but why are nearly all of them prosthetic? .:. A8B59D26-8588-4E5B-86E2-1718517822F1 🍆 https :// the conversation .com/ more-penises-are-appearing-on-tv-and-in-film-but-why-are-nearly-all-of-them-prosthetic -146906

Still to come… öüï does not know, it’s Improv Knight at peacock central, and Sunday morning in Paname, which as John Lithgow knows, because he told the World on The Alix Witt show just Yesterday, that Babylon One is where Disney plus Actor, Rick Moranis, moved after realizing that Babylon Two is too close to godliness and way too far from Sin, which is why that poor mental health patient without his meds suckered punched the beloved actor in the face. Let’s make a They for CRAZY people, and Perlita, D.A.R.E. is no better time like Today.

Weekend Edition

Please continue with u.s., or Knot, on PAGE 6… the NSFW section of this most non–consequential blog-press live from a sexo trabajadora’s Love Shack on the shifty side of Manu Chao’s Boulogne Town.

But before we switch, IT!, over to Mongo Santamaría at the Siren Den, con una tal Lupe… the Celia Cruz NSFW version of the Latin Soul danza, sends “un besito” straight from the set of Sleepy Joe’s Café, where Ashley Parker is playing the role of an undercover F.B.I. asset at a Roadhouse in Natchez, Alabama.

Anyhow, The Boss left a note on the Vacuum Tube Console stating that, Saturday Night Live has not had a Jolt of Energy shoved down the non–viewers EYES, since the Boys From Jersey, SKID ROW, and the Brooklyn Dodgers, a.k.a. The Beastie Boys, sabotaged the chain gang… yeah Buddy, it was a long-long time ago, Nirvana was about to hit the scene. Last night’s Jacques Blanco performance was worthy of giving that lad and the rhythm section a Saint’s title: Santiago Blanche y sus cueros doblados (en Spanglish).

Page Six from Outer Insiders

Page Six from Outer Insiders WITT, Katty Kay .:. 389267BF-EAAE-48C3-8A78-3EB6EBF2B104 🏄🏽‍♂️ Time check for tele transporters and their Stow•A•Güey.

—–> Eye knew that Michael Che was going to Do, Bellflower (ROSE, Maximus) before you got out of your Apartment, Gnome…

In the Mean Time, “Take 10”, and Eye will by the next Round, Susana.

So c’mon Motherfuckers! Ketch Up!!! Get IT‽

EYE Screamers

EYE Screamers… ya’Fucking Drunk!

Deer, Pao… nevermind the Occult-ation

The following is a working example of reel-time Pareidolia, and Alicia, öüï can’t make this stuff up, experts agree —all of’em— that if one squints really–really hard one might even get a glimpse of Uranus… aunque usted, marchantita, no lo crea.

Actually, Mr. Trump

Actually, Mr. Trump, as you can clearly see from this transparency of the occultation of the Moon, Africa —motherfucker— is the nut sack (not the shit hole*) of the World {therefore} A95AB9DB-60CE-4AD4-AF13-E186B553C35E 🥑 In this transparency it is clear that on account of the position on the “güevito” and the foreskin between the solid white, the temperature is rather cold  otherwise the “tip” of the solid white would probably reach beyond Easter Island… Yeah Buddy.

… gremlins continue to interfere with the S-3 (comm support) keep your Squelch in the “on” position.

Anyhow, Ms. RayMos, it’s the 11th Hour on my neck of the latitudes, and you know what D.A.T., means, right? —That’s right Avi Velshi, it’s time to mark your calendars because on September 10, Byrd se Deborah all of the stars under Milky Way [tonight] and Eye is telling you Alicia Menendez, that YOU JUST can’T MaKE This Stuff UP!

Off–course you know

Off–course you know 🐰54AEEA8B-9201-49C4-81AA-93971F84FDF1 🐇 This means that you have to suspend reality because Öüï can’t make this up.

Coming up on Ancient Regimes, it’s The nona–Q files.

Here’s another thing D.A.T. the very French don’t want you to know

In•deed, Brandy. But not just any Brandy¹, “Ladies Man”, öüï’s talking original Weekend Edition vintage quality here, not the Napoleonic trip of an Alpha empire. In•deed, Jeff Benes² we [the staff] are going to dust-off the old records and search for the original potion to heal all known and unknown ailments to come, heck if aged correctly it can even cure a Corona cruda. Yeah Buddy

Sketch rating .:.

Sketch rating .:. 10447A67-9591-4504-B323-CEDEEB0FFC09 🗺 This Sketch Has Not Yet Bean Rated, period —_¡_—  …[B]ut for starters Richard Louí, DOCK that LinDsey Riser pundit a THEYS PAY for identifying PANDAS with the wrong ISO regional identifier; but DO give her credit fot that Dodger Blue ‘cobija’ that she’s wearing. For the record, Ms. Riser, ALL 🐼pandas🐼 outside of… the “continental” Peoples Republic of SHYNA, ShyNA!!! Are in cautiverio, Lindsey Risner, that’s true for Tohui at the CDMX Zoo, or for the new Cub at CAPITOL HILL, or do you think that D.A.T. 🐻bear🐻 is exceptional, eh? Off-course s/he is knot! Pandas are the official mascots of all 🦅Jail-byrds🦅. 🐶Yeah Buddy!🐶… and that includes Evry body on Lockdown. FOR THE RECORD, 🦝Paul Manafort🐼 is the silliest of all the PANDAS in YALE.


So, Rev. Al, do you know why the Caged Byrd Sings?

Jessica Wabbit

Jessica Wabbit‽ .:. 6E7552C3-7E17-4A11-BF2D-0F472A990E87 🦵🏻It’s, knot one of DEM “Three-pointers”.

Let’s ask Professor Wynton Marsalis.

But FO’ist, please take a knee, —or knot— for the Runner-up to replace “oh say can you see”… [P]lease give a hand to tonight’s conductor, Mr. Barry White:


¹ Yii•eh•ah, but not Couvoisier because that Japanese (owned) Spirit is reserved for Cinco de Mayo y las celebraciones de La China Poblana en Camarón, Veracruz.

Traité sur l'Union européenne

Traité sur l’Union europÉenne .:. 36C5AE2D-58FA-4D1A-8472-F6AB13960F12 🐔 Eye did tell y’all that M. de Tocqueville was going to take you to Loué, didn’t Eye‽ —_¿_— All D.A.T. Eye can say is that One out of EVRY Four Cool Cats is not happy about this, especially, Alicia Menendez, after Capitol Records told Ringo Starr that THEY would save one for him, but our prediction is that by the time Saints George, Paul (not Fowl) and John, get their latest Billboard message, they too will not Let IT Bee 100% with the new look of Mr. Postman in that UnderTaker cloak.

* Note to Rick Tyler for a future sketch: deer, Sir, D.A.T. D.A.R.E. sure is one Franciscan garden for your compost… but EVRY body knows that humus is where IT’S at. Aussi, en negritas, please remind AM Joy that öüï knows that Venus is a boy and that Jon Meachum will be playing from the LOVEcraft catalogue to the beat of The Darkest of The White House Thickets. P.S., I Love You, and just to add contrast to your shrubs, Mr. Rick Tyler, here’s the link for that humus D.A.T. Eye, was plotting just for the start of Politics Nation:

30 de nov (COP -a- Plea21… Kyoto. i stand corrected.)

* Note to Jacob Soboroff for an on-going thing… that sure is a nice indoor olive sapling you got dare in El Ey, pero lo que La Banda quiere saber es si el zaguán d’ese chante es de expropiación?

² Jeff Benece Benes is the illegitimate love child of The Ladies Man and Elaine Benes, for the purposes of this particular sketch, the role of Jeff Benes is to be delivered by Pheasant Peacock Pavo White House correspondent, Geoff Bennett.

Hey, D.A.R.E., Avi Velshi, this is Ancient Yndios (part ii)

Haste del verbo transitivo faire

W.H.O. Knew‽

W.H.O. Knew This Would happen‽ .:. 33287D22-5EAC-4E38-BF02-39C4078E551D 🎩👑 Attention students, the number reflected by the Red Letters inside of the “support your local biker gang” delimiter could be significantly lowballing the numbers represented by the Dark Blue [h]asterisk.

… [A]nd just remember, returning university students at Elon’s Campus, just remember to follow your S.O.B… wait, scratch D.A.T.! Don’t follow your sonofabitch, öüï repeat: don’t follow your S.O.B., instead, Future Idiots of America, follow your Campus S.O.P. and any C.D.C. guidelines that might have survived the “dear leader’s” recommendation and Kayleigh McEnany’s “killer” looks.

Can You Synch Mí In, Now?
Do as I Say not as I Bully

Do as I Say not as I Bully you ⚠️ B7B0CBD8-187C-4F3E-853F-6206E071BD6A 📰 “It better not happen again”.

In•deed, previously on “Practice What You Preach”, John Mill Ackerman used his mommy’s and daddy’s IVY League connections, his teacher’s desk student’s contributions (classroom dissertations), and his “beau papa” to reach a position in government that would make an Armand Jean du Plessis, A.K.A., The Duke of Richelieu or simply, “the motherfucking Cardinal” —blush— and, a Jules Mazarin say: arrest that man and put his FACE behind an IRON Mask.

Note to Velshi: Qanon is fag! — Bald Power!

It's just an “oH” on a rearview mirror

The letter “Q” without it’s descender (tail) in any font is an “O” (Oh) on a rearview mirror.

Still to come: La Vache! El Niño Luc in the role of Gatsby le magnifique reaches Sonoyta, from the Agua Prieta side of the fence… But FOist! Conspiracy Theories meets Política Ficción… Don’t call it “fan fiction” until you’ve seen the perspective on the terrain.

Law and Order — Criminal Intent

Coming up in the transmission, it’s a mid-week marathon of Law and Order – Criminal Intent.

Context follows

Still to come .:. 892BD179-76A6-4874-B7AD-FF1A9B50F843 ⚖️ Ms. Pramile Jayamal¹ grills a cunt  on the Auction block.

¹ The names of the innocent have been changed

Season Two; Episode 1
The Devil’s Advocate, in defense of a cunt.

Eye AM an antichrist

Eye AM an antichrist .:. E38433F5-A86D-42FE-BFBD-292D593C8638 🙏🏼 … [A]nd Eye AM a feminist… in the true sense of D.A.T. word, amen.

In-House Advertisement
The Moore you Knew (PSA)

Now, Aussie, you’ve heard about Ben Folds Five diagrams… it’s not one of those, this here bee what the Brits in Mutt Island call, a Tri•An•gul• Ation… AND OH, MY SHOCKING NERVES!!! Transliteration is going to bee an Adventure here.

French Bashing 101:

Anuncio_ And probably the only good thing

Anuncio_ And probably the only good thing to ever come out of Marseille, –except for that Beatle’s song intro .:. 6047B23E-0591-4A84-B61D-69CFBA7B10AB 🦠💉 Of course if there is an undisputed champion of hydroxichloroquine on the opinion pages of La Jornada por ‘La Maub”, esta marsellesa es la que controla todos los ‘menjurjes’, of course, and of course Toto, you know exactly what this means… Indeed, Toto, in•deed: aux armes, mad–a–faka! Hoy no hubo jazz.

Still to come, It’s The Billy Barr’s Cooking Show. In today’s episode, The Hon. Richard Barr shows us his secret Vagina Dentata recipe, al denteof course.

menjurje. (n.d.) Gran Diccionario de la Lengua Española. (2016). Retrieved July 29 2020 from

Anyhow, Heidi Pryzbyla, ByLa we have to bring up the tangents in these political tangas, welcome BacK! And here is the discovery of the WEAK, Indian Territory y sus lenguas, with musical guest, The Leningrad Cowboys featuring The Putin Puppets, only on Deadline Washington, Russia Edition where it is 11 o’Clock (at night).

Consulting fee waived

From DEM Mexicans

From DEM Mexicans book of Words .:. C9F7951F-2DEA-45A1-ACC8-2A18F158D321 🦠 Of course, “Eye know nothing about, IT!”, but sources close to the Helsinki Summit of July 2016 all agree, that Donald John Trump is Vlad’s bottom–bitch.

_+_+_+_+_+ Nota al director LARA ⬆️:
Profesor Lara, con todo respeto, si en los enlaces a su repositorio de letras no hay sazón, entonces vale verga la investigación. Here’s why ⤵️ and please DO make a note of, IT!.


menjurje (Del ant. menjuje < ár. mamzug, mezclado.) .:. 9CB410CF-761B-471F-AD2E-4076CC7B69B8 🧙🏻‍♀️
s. m. Mejunje, bebida o preparado de aspecto pastoso o sucio y sabor desagradable.

By the book… FM 21-20 (Squats)

So, Mr. Meyers, is that what the good people at the  Observation section of 30 Rock is calling “las sentadillas” now a days?

Exerciser or Resister?

Muscular Endurance and Strenght, PRE* .::. BA8D1E6E-28D7-40DD-9548-A85ED8257F83 ⚒🛠Exerciser.– POSITION: Stand erect with both feet pointed straight ahead…
Resistor.– POSITION: Stand directly behind the exerciser with the fleshy portion of your forearms resting squarely on your lover’son the exerciser’s shoulders.

* Partner Resistance Exercises

https ://www .marist .edu /documents /20182 /21440 /FM+21-20+Physical+Fitness+Training.pdf /1c370ef9-e663-40e8-8c0f-088501f03aae

“Whatever gets you thru the [segment] it’s alright. It’s alright.”

The Plastic Peacock Band

Any hows and any güeys, Mr. Meyers, don’t think D.A.T. the staff here didn’t catch your Steely Dan* reference while commenting on Doña Vilma Fuentes (folk) hero, for the record Mr. Meyer, your seductive podcaster friend (not the one Who Chews too loud while breaking wind… or something like that) with the fuck-mí robe on the screengrab above is well within his labia to refer to you as part of Lorde Lorne’s ‘royalty’; heck, Mr Meyer(s), D.A.R.E. is even an SNL sketch to complement that statement; it’s titled « Because I Am An American », and here’s another CLUE to y’all, it was complementary FLACK to the morning-after of our interaction with BUZZFEED at the Unesco and Willie Geist saying that LOKI is the god of mischief, but to call you “the King”, and for you to comment on the soreness of your muscles the afternoon after tells u.s. that you fell for the most annoying feller at the “Double Ewe” on Hollywood and Vine…

The Three Wise Men

The Three Wise Men… featuring Dan Aykroyd as “El Herodes*” —_•!•_— NOW PLAYING AT “Da Man’s” Chinese Theater on Hollywood Blvd… TROY BARNES is there to Usher you, ISSY! D.A.T. Nigga D.A.R.E is packing. So non-readers be warned.

Anyway, Seth… Eye am Chevy Chase, –and you are not!


Must show work section on DEADLINE:

For the record, öüï did warned y’all about them “ SunShine” units for North Korea, 24 hours before the NewsWeek’s told you about it, but then again, Eye has Rosanne Rosanadana on the Staff… Ana Anabitarte reports.

https ://www .newsweek .com/ north-korea-calls-it-irresponsible-countries-that-ignored-coronavirus-warnings-blame-who-1505228?piano_t=1

Dear, Ari Melver… let’s quit in a fit break

Aussie, youse doing great; and on D.A.T. note: Ari, Sir, don’t be a Dick! 

Suicide Solution

Come to think of it!
Clorox®️ is fine,
but Antifreeze is quicker! .::. F6A53811-FE89-4CC3-912B-BFF9A8505076 🎟 It’s symbolic … sarcastic of course.

… and Live from Paname, it’s Weekend Edition, SEATTLE TRIBUTE.

Tequila is better than bleach

At the time, it was madrugada en Hilo Hawaii .::. D016AEC9-D1B2-4FB6-ABA6-2063FD34A0A9 ☣️ esto es una serenata al revés. Stay indoors mariachi. Agave for health—say no to LySol.

🎵 Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria
Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach
As I want you to be
As a trend, as a friend
As an old
Memoria, memoria
Memoria, memoria
¡Ay, viejas feas!
“Y como dicen los franchutes de la sierra”

“Y como dicen los franchutes de la sierra” .::. F45FF191-0CD9-43A2-A89A-E5974EEBD0DD 🏄🏽‍♂️ « LES MARACAS LUI DONNENT LA TUNA AL THON DE ATÚN ».
ENASALADA DE LOCOS… no necesariamente mexicana, pero sí, eso sí, INFLUENCIADA por LECHUGA, Héctor. —_•!•_— LUCHA DE INDEPENDENCIA por el Campeonato Mundial de Lucha Libre. Por el título vacante de DEVALUADOS PESOS : Las Flores de Toloache vS.  Los Franchutes de La Sierra.

¡Qué chulas están! 
Any güey, Negrita, we [the staff of this most non–consequential blog] made it to Rialto with Thyme to spare, now Aussie, pay attention you–trippy–motherfucker–you and pay no attention to Ari Melber, as mention by the prettiest Amazon on the SNL scene (Catherine Deneuve) Ari has HEINZ written over that occasional beard that he likes to sport every once on a Friday Fright night, and he “needs a little pat on the back in order to be able to perform,” so pay no attention to The BEAT’s ragginess in real-time last night in Gotham’s time. And, besides Aussie, you’d be forgiven for not knowing that in Ari Melver’s esquire role in The Emerald City, he is trynig to get a Shotgun off of the hook in a Lithium charge.
Listen, Shugah, if youse not reading this little lick in a Jimmy Hendrix voice, youse probably a square from Olympia, but worry not baby, it’s one thing to learn how to play like a Voodoo Child, it’s quite another to Chop them motherfucking castles (down) From The Hip, you hear‽ Musicians call it a “signature sound”, una firma or BYLINE in newspeak, pues, ¡güey!.
C'mon now!

C’mon now .::. F02A4687-DC6A-4DD5-9C22-7945577B1393 🌒 Meet over at Green River Community College… we’ll figure out what Third Grade Maths is all about.

Any güey, Negrita color de llanta; check it out, precious, öüï will meet you on the other end of SAN DIMAS at HWY 66 and then shoot past Pasadena in order to shoot up on D.A.T. D.A.R.E I–5 all the way to the other end of it! In Aberdeen, to see About A Girl… see you D.A.R.E., and don’t be Square.