McManus was so bad, he once took out 35 cumbia jocks with a single güiro. Rumor has it, that each raya on that dry calabaza was better than Number one With A Bullet. got my finger on the Quantic and, Bang 🎉 Président Kennedy’s Lincoln-Continental quema cocos was filled with confetti from the cheering crowds that lined up from the gates of the Benito Juárez International Airport and all the way to Los Pinos in 1962.
Oscar was a fag.
Many-worlds interpretation
Musical guest, The Eels.
Eighteen Hundred and Eighty Eight… by the numbers:
one,two, three, four, five, six, seven … 😉 Oswald was a fag.
McManus
1888, the letters on the sky:
We are nearing the the limit of all we can know about astronomy.
And in local news, inspired by Keyser Söze, Houthi rebels kidnapped The Galaxy in the Red Sea… where is your Moses now “New York Finest Taxi Service”?
… and Then Is Soula, if you can line up today’s view with an alternative fip, Eye will stop call[ing] Ewe, a son of a bitch (not really) but just go with the Wave 🌊.
And, Madame Hidalgo, Zeppelin goes here, and Ewe know My Heart Would Know that Hawaii is always blue 💙 ask The King, Robert Plant and Alison Krauss .. Goooooo, Dodgers.
Viva Las Vegas. En cartelera… Los Misterios de Iberia a un lado de Barcelona, en la rue de Temple, off–Course.
Now, in the previous segment Eye relayed to y’all motherfuckers that this was going to be a double header, and with that in mind…
Dedicated to Fey (sorry if I misspelled your name) at Emmaüs… I know that you want my Dick in You.
Fey, by the Way, is short for Viejas FEYas!
This chapter is called, pena ajena, or how I Learned to love Misha y sus mexicanos en Saint Merry…
En contexto, México is burning… It’s February of 2011 (Spring to be exact in time-delayed magic 🪄) and the Barbara Carol de Obeso’s show had just been scratched. Tunisia, was effervescent, but most importantly, Phat Basterd, a fellow by the nomenclature of “Juanito Guanabacoa”, of faggety FPP fame was not in the Seine.
Your pussy, my rod… bring Melle. Pitch.
First Sunday in Paris. It’s cold as fuck, and not a god-damned supermarket is opened, and the Arab shops don’t accept credit cards, just like the taco shop at Cinéma Mexique. To make things worst, I’ve just ran out of Tramadol®️ and the weed is a pipe dream in Montreuil, hash is plenty, but fuck, nigga! Where’s the grass? Are you not Like the COOLIO³ of this motherfuck? Long story short, it took nearly a year to secure good weed, and when I ran out, the dealer grew a revolutionary heart and he flew back to Mali. I never heard from him again. But if you are in on the JOKE, IN 2015, Dr. Poisson’s colleague from the LAB moved next to that cat’s studio in Levallois. Of course you have had to be getting stoned that night with me, in order to appreciate the funk that would grow out of that soirée.
³~. To The Moon 🌚 gangsta, to da Mun… 👻
Got Coke?
Across The Atlantic, Dario Moreno lost weight in Ukraine, the phenomenon is known as a reverse Chappelle. Send your contributions on Deadline, to Avi Velshi cycles and garden. Avi Velshi needs his baby fat, please contribute.
Detrás De Los Soberones Cerros del Asalto a Carlos Marín.
Los Hijos de Obrador
Ring magazines
School’s Out… if you want to.
Continuing with THE CELEBRATIONS OF THE INTERNATIONAL DAY OF FORCED DISAPPEARANCES, in the Mexican state of Sonora, the same where Fernando “El Toro de Navojoa” Valenzuela hails from, a middle-school teacher working part-time at a Mexican “CIRKLE K”, was picked up by members LA GUARDIA NACIONAL in civilian uniform. The middle-school teacher’s whereabouts remain unknown, donc, School’s Out for the They, in a little city in Sonora. Welcome To My Nightmare, GUTFELD!
Fast Times At FOX NEWS Montessori HIGH
… and with that moan on FOX News, Öüï now returns to, The Problem with Maths is THE ELITIST nature of the Education Tourism Boards where the Tale of The Tape in the Katie Thang vS. Katie Benner bout continues.
Stéphanie Ruhle is at Ringside… and Steph is Showing her guns, Martin Luther Reverend opened The Prayer Session at The Mexican Senate.
In Argentina, not to be outdone by Stephen Baldwin of, “Oswald was a fag” fame, Ruby Tuesday made a cameo on Cristina Fernández, Ted Cruz dad is at Ring Side with Leo DiCaprio and Gutfeld’s 17 year–old sister.
This is what happens when there is no News Rocket Surgery, or something like that, any how, GUTFELD wears a Tanga in Hilo, Hawaii, and plays fetch the ULTIMATE Freesbee™.
[Voice of Jimmy Lennon Jr., is used to introduce Katie Benner, Öüï caught Jimmy Jr., just after his dad tried to Keep A Straight Face after seeing the Moonwalker ®️ dance on the Ring].
—Inflated out of the RED Corner, Katie Benner brought an NBC facemask and her secret weapon is D’ahhhhhhh CHINESE COMMUNIST PARTY…
_ Katie Benner is the long lost illegitimate daughter of a man, —a LEYENDA pound-for-pound really— of a man from PERROS BRAVOS, Nuevo Lyon, México, who went for CIGARROS A HONG KONG… Benner hails from Mexicali B.C., but she doesn’t do TKT’s—ese, Benner the “Beaner” only does TKO’s.
And, Georgia, because youse always on Mí’s mind… Eye is looking for a new love.
It’s a damn shame, SIRENE.
Thing ONE:
Note to LEIGH ANN CALD {Oh} WELL Done:
Hola guapa, might your beautiful EYES be in need of some dots… Eye knows this Latin i who’s just throwing them away.
Previously on the Pascal Praut Praud {désolé mio that Eye mispelled your name , Sir} archives at Driving School: this is, Conocimiento de causa… efecto is sure to follow.
Permis de ralentir… o como dice FREDDY CATS in Ciudad Juárez, Chihuahua {2011} via Montreuil-sous-Blasse. Oríllese a la orilla.
Thing TWO:
“Sticky Note ® », for Kurt… hey Kurt, caught you TUESDAY Evening-quarterbacking on the “msnbc’s”, but most importantly, heard Brian Williams this morning on Central Europe Time talking about, “writing the perfect yada, yada, yada,” … Something, which is fine, it’s just that I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOU WERE A {Sunday Driver} DAVID ALLEN COE fan.
It’s O.K. Kurt, i have caught you before jumping on the bandwagon of my RONALD REAGAN rant directed at Morning Joe. Hop on motherfucker, there’s room for you and that guy with The Beatles cover rack hanging from a wall in his living room. What’s next, José Díaz-Balart is going to be a casual SILVIO RODRÍGUEZ listener?
KNOT only is Mika’s Mr. Wonderful season N° 9, {N° 9, N° 9, N° 9,…} but the episode is Lucky 13 on the South Park reference “throwback”… and while you line up the reticles on that front, let me use this opportunity to introduce RALPH at Emmaüs to MR. BARDELLA².
And Rafa, {REMEMBER McMANUS¹} before you judge what I am about to show you {with regards to COLUCHE motorcycle priviledges… rumor has it that these were denied, or Something like that, YOU MUSTfactor in what YOU ASKED ME ABOUT the incident casi esquina with the “grassy knowll” at DILLY (pronounced Dealey) plaza in Paris—Texas, and then {governor} Square the TANGENT of the circumference that said TANGENT snatches on Venn’s rounded senos de la côté opuesta à la hipotenusa}
¹.~ The Usual Suspects
— “License and registration… what’cha doin’? — Chewin’ chocolate. — Where’d ya’gitt it from? — THE CBRCBD STORE!!!
In context, {because, Ralph, a picture without context is just a fucking sketch} it is always pleasant to hear you inquire about the quirky and in recent latter~Theys, BAT SHIT CRAZY events that are popping up in the good ol’U.S. of A. ISSY, Ralphi.e., Eye has heard about that Q~Vo fellow {pronounced CUE-and-ON} and as I briefly explained I did notice the Kennedy fans at DILLY PARK… and if you know who A BAND OF HORSES are, then you know that THEY ARE in TUNE with the Southpark HARLEY DAVIDSON episode… with that in mind, please FALL BACK to yesterday’s comment on CLINT EASTWOOD’s empty stool rant, and here’s why, Rafa:
².~ And, Counselor… here’s the CATCH {22}… you must read this in a Stephanie Ruhle on a {COLORADO} HIGH s~tool voice with a New Jersey accent from Wall Street, not The Bricks:
All of a sudden, Ralph, BARDELLA is a COUNTRY MUSIC FAN, and when your collègues start calling, Mí!, by my name, then you’ll begin to understand that K has nothing to do with J other than for EWE frogs Jordan comes before Kurt³.
In a parallel universe, Mika is the fastest return on stalling Capitol Hill for Joe Manchin, that Motherfucker.
Over at The New York Times Oral Masturbation hour, the American newspaper of record started a new rock and roll band called “THE BANDWAGONEERS“
Should classic rock songs be toppled like statues?
… but FO’ist
Öüï takes a look back at great quotes from
Le beau, le brut et les truands ¹ They will greet us as liberators… ² The Afghans will host U.S. like New Yorkers on vacation… ³ Wanted: Dead or Alive
In Search of the “secret” ingredient… this is probably how « a bucket of chicken » at KFC™️ turned into a “canasta de Chicken Tenders” at Chez Le Colonel… 🎶 know your chicken—Ewe got to know your Chicken [bullion-powder]. —_*!*_— And, Reverend Al, Eye knows that Ewe know, that them little beef-flavored powdered packages inside of them instant noodles bags are not really beef, or shrip, or chicken, or veal… or whatever might float your Wuhan Wet MarketBo-bun (punto y coma) ••• [burp!] Anyhow, Rev, that thing that the French call “TEQUIZA™” is kind of like that, and Eye just found the source of the Plants that make that disgusting syrup possible. With no HELP! (Eye might add) from SEMOLINA PILCHARD who was busy starring as an EXTRA in the making of the Eiffel Tower, at the Moo-vies in France.
Why do you think They tagged that nave con el nombre de BASILIC[a]?
In Washington, Saint David Ignatius takes on the role of Carlos Fuentes’ “Old Gringo”, while The Taliban plays the role of General Emiliano Zapata sitting on the Mexican presidential chair A.K.A., « La Silla mariana »… TROU story, the screengrab below was snaped by Casasola moments before the start of the First Great War. The still below captures LA URBANIDAD of general Zapata as he cedes the presidential chair to Antonio Banderas, in the role of Paris Mayor, Anne Hidalgo, as Pancho Villa ⇓
Ladies in Gemini:
“Que Viva Eisenstein!”
Objects in mirror are closer to China and Russia, —than they appear.
As HO’id on The Medhi Hassan Show:
Oh, sweet REAGANesque IRONY…
“don’t GET HIGH ON YOUR OWN PRESS REPORTS ».
Dear, Joshua Johnson… it started in Irak, not in Afghanistan. “Orange-Eye Butterfly Bush”, reports from an imaginary “mushroom cloud”..
Note to Medhi Hassan handlers/producers on The Rachel Maddow Show.
Don't forget to post the August 15th, 2021 transcript.
Öüï's going to be needing that retired general's quote about how Morning in America
believed their own “Just Say KNOW» 🐬 advertisement bytes of the 1980's 🍳🧠
Deer, Rep. Adam Schiff, please be advised that cualquier parecido con nuestra triste realidad, is probably because unlike the Trump Republican guard i was a Pathfinder in Representative Cheney’s dad original “petit coup”, o como dicen Les Franglais-es-esos, the one and only “Robinette*” … Issy, gaD#Em—it! Eye always said that them National Guards weekend-warriors had no fucking discipline, and even less imagination to catch some Z’zzzs. 🚰 Well, you’ve HO’id about the Commando 450, 🗯… it’s Knot one of those, and please, Congressman, don’t shut the Tap just because you don’t like the Water Boy .:. Going to California (French Consulate 2010) goes here.
Adventures in Translation for the LatinX impaired.
But FO’ist!!!
The BrïWï checks in at the
Shannon Pettypiece Hypnosis Clinic
hilarity ensues when Shannon tells BrïWhy
Eyes Above The Shoulder,
You Helicopter polizón–you.
Hola, Kasie! i am going to let you figure it out (all on your lonesome) what the grifo on the Swimming Pool means, Issy, the Stoner is the good guy and the poatriot pat… riot is, well you know. For the record, Kasie, Clinton’s Church is currently in the process of blowing the “dust bunnies out of the Organ pipes, i got there when the fingers where on the “agudos” Ivory keyboards… by 11 am, in Saint Germain Photo Expo 2021 (left ((behind)) bank) were moaning with the very “graves” moaning of the deep tone of Ebony chiming in… just the Facts Ma’am.
Season 4 End / Inauguration Episode 1
Good Morning World, did you happen to catch how Donald John Trump got away with a clean slate, WHO knows, perhaps the Commonwealth of Kentucky will house the Donald John Trump presidential library. Witt this in mind, the only thing uglier than this foundation pouring is Republican hitman Rick Wilson… an ugly sonovabitch who stole Teeny Tiny Cat’s portrait from the Louvre, The LOUvre, —Omar Lupin! The fucking LOUvre… or, maybe just as horrific are the « lovely » American nazis at the Walmart on aisle 6 with all of them made in china patio Torches… you’ve come a long way, West Virginia; just like West “Pompeo” Point and, “Thank you for smoking* ».
* Thank you for smoking was Donnie Deutsch's-es-es defense for the tobacco industry Camel Toe Camel Joe advertisement campaign directed toward teens in the 1980´s... [I]t was the parents responsibility to educate their kind, said the msnbc walking adVert.
Note to California Foreign (legion) Intelligence Representative Adam Schiff… please don’t mix Aquarius into the Billy Madison repertoire, Sir. Now because, i happen to be of no consequence please be advised that if, and only if—you believe that WaWa gets no enemy, according to The President of Africa (ibid), then you cannot blame the water carrier, because if you do, then you are shooting the messenger (in another world) WHO brings you the news of the noose.
Now because i did factor in the Wild G.O.A.T. on LSD* (just scroll down this same rabbit-blog) Eye is knot going to hold it against you but watch your ass, Congressman Shiff, or Governor Le Petomane will be forced to cut your Hollywoodland contract… “at The Pass”, Congressperson**, —at the pass.
The Watch List and The List Watchers… don’t kid yourself, Nicole Wallace, you of all people should know that the only one that touches Ivanka and Jarred is Donald John Trump; and Witt that in mind… you know that when the “watch lists” were initially beef-up, the watchers filled it with Family court cases… and there was a reason for it, it kind of resembles the tuna/atún fisheries that indiscriminately trapped whatever fell prey to the MAN’s sirens and their nets. Issy, Jason Johnson, inform that Nick Confessori that this is being written for an audience of Wan. .:. Keep shooting the messenger, please. Go ahead, re-load.
Still to ride:
A Band of Horses
DILLY… 🐎 … [I]t really took a Tall one to see it*, Two to believe it, Three to JUST Get In The Way.
*James Comey
_+_+_+_+_+
And in WaWa Land, Ayman Mohyeldin discovers Venn Diagrams. It’s true, as sure as 10 motherfuckers testing positive every 10 minutes SIX minutes for COVID-19 just as Paris is getting ready to cover the flame at 18h starting on Saturday Night, live.
Right now it is 2112 in CET, and Tom Sawyer, was a mean-mean warrior id•deed.
Still to come .:. Test 1, Test 2, Test 3… The student must show his or her WO’ik. 📐 Issy, that light is shining direction East, y la doña Me Dici qui Nostradamus, —was a fag, period!
* Capricorn for those out of the loop with an Ah’Nold Cornucopia church of manlove.
The following is a Mr. Saturday Night Special presentation on the Scale of “Tuesday’s Gone”. This presentation is sponsored by CEMEX and it is rated TV-14 for all of the people in Babylon 2 and by order of The Absolute Leader and FAKE TAN Intellectual erudite from Walmart U, anyone reading this news sketch in an Alec Baldwin voice is w•R•O•N•g. The only allowable Baldwin voice to be invoked in this news sketch is that of his younger (and more talented) brother, McManus, a born–again, God-fearing christian fellow just like the Absolute Leader of the daily press rally propaganda briefings at the White House.
Musical Guest: TWISTERELLA on Your Radio Rides (Again!) Featuring Joe Jackson.
Anuncio:
Jesus in the Blink of an Eye .::. A61347BE-C84D-4BC0-B536-4B794BCF84B5 👁 40 years with room to spare.
Special Agent McManus is called after a three-hour diatribe riffed by The Absolute Leader of The United States of America on the occasion of his most colossal fuck-up to date, the COVID – 19 pandemic denial that Donald John Trump used for his re-election campaign benefit during the LUNAR eclipse that ushered in the Chinese New Year of the RAT, and which coincidentally awoke The Werewolf of London, which just happened to have been spotted this past weekend during the Jupiter and Saturn cameo on the Occassion of the PINK MOON in the Southern Mexican state of Chiapas, in a quadrant of the Lacandona Jungle. Chilean news outlets initially spread the rumor that said Werewolf was the infamous “Denis” de Paris, but sources close to El Mundo de Mando on the periphery of Le Monde nixed those reports by confirming D.A.T. “El Lobo Hombre” remains hopelessly in a state of ‘Mhee’ around the quadrants of Saint–Sulpice, Sainte–Genevieve, Saint–Eustache and of course Notre Dame ISIS de Lutèce.
Meanwhile on Deadline WaWa Land in New York, Nicolle Wallace recovers from Ari Melber’s antenna knockdown from yesterday night. Also, the UNITED states say to Donald Trump to go Fuck himself… CALIFORNIA LEADS THE GÜEY, putos! Over at Curly’s Heilemann’s Kitchen, there’s no evidence of pizza being a factor in that island so, this can only mean one thing, John Heilemann is a fucking Android. And no Johnny boy, you are not fooling anyone with them utility fruits in the backgroung, öüï know that them ORANGES are not Sunkist grade.
Hey, Evry body! It’s 4 O’clock in New York and Ten p.m. in Hilo, Hawaii .::. AE4A9D01-5BDC-4B91-8EDB-4F45E44302D9 ✍🏼 Subliminal subtext follows, vía the Amazon workers who wish for people to stop ordering dildos on-line, but FOist we [the staff] need to take a motherfucking nap., catch y’allat the “all in”, no pun intended… top of the Chris Hayes hour.
Remus on this [past] weekend Saturday Night “dating game” sketch might disagree with the Amazon fellow below ⤵️
In local news, the lockdown is extended until the first week of May, which can only mean one thing, our mattress padding will not be delivered for another month and we are running low on LA Semana Que Philippe Labró on the CNEWS matines.
— Narrator Dermont Hoggins voice now returns to Our deer Absolute leader, at The Rose Garden:
Rudolph Giuliani’s independent snoop digging in the Ukraine got wind from a pair of Eastern European clochards whoare known to frequent the Maub quadrant of a dame called Vilma, a Mexican Source for the former Minister of Culture of President Emmanuel Macron (code name little Jupiter); according to them Clochards at the maub the scoop is D.A.T. the filthy French were hacking another envoy to meddle, much like that superstore merchant Lafayette did during the American Revolution, but in Today’s affairs of the current self–appointed KING inside of The United States of america. For the record, The former Gotham Mayor had a mighty mighty mole and his name was Special Agent McManus.
The very French call him Tchao Pantin (the « TEA » is silent and, the last name is pronounced PAN–Tan) .::. 39A885F7-A006-4EE3-99E3-374EDE502922 ➿ “Ladies and gentleman, let me tell you how this game of musical chairs is going to be,” said the Absolute Leader of “the” porto-lectern of the Daily Presidential Propaganda Show.
— The following is read, verbatim, by The Absolute Leader of them united states of america, from patio just outside the back section of The West Wing.
I, Donald John Trump, the only ONE that can rule the United States of America, have it on good authority to inform you, my subjects; my peons; my undocumented workers, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera,… D.A.T. the French are planning to wrap a very dangerous SPY inside of the Arc de Triomphe and!!! Send it via the French Poste like some sort of Trojan Unicorn… or something like that!
To add insult to injury, the dirty French are using —yet— another “Christo” to wrap a pretty pink bow on this “monument” and present it to Öüï the people, as some sort of “gift”, like that “lady liberty floosy” W.H.O. is known to advertise under her skirt!!! No less, with a vacancy sign for the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. What are we, a beacon of light? more Disturbing, still, was the “manifesto” that our intrepid and beautiful special agent McManus, formally of the Baldwin Clan (those motherfuckers), found attached on the inside of the wrapping paper with which the aforementioned “trojan” Arc was to be wrapped with, right now our decrypting agents from Trump University are hard at work trying to decode the strange language that these sedition instructions are printed in. As i speak to you, MY SUBJECTS; MY PEONS; MY UNDOCUMENTED WORKERS, ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA,… special agent mcmanus is trying to reach a “CHARLIE HEBDO” w.h.o. apparently holds the key to the code.
Smile.
DOLOREM IPSUM “The Only Pain öüï Have To Feel, is Pain ITself!” .::. 5CC1BDC7-D53F-4779-A861-E47F9A310802 ➿”Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.”
