The following is a Mr. Saturday Night Special presentation on the Scale of “Tuesday’s Gone”. This presentation is sponsored by CEMEX and it is rated TV-14 for all of the people in Babylon 2 and by order of The Absolute Leader and FAKE TAN Intellectual erudite from Walmart U, anyone reading this news sketch in an Alec Baldwin voice is w•R•O•N•g. The only allowable Baldwin voice to be invoked in this news sketch is that of his younger (and more talented) brother, McManus, a born–again, God-fearing christian fellow just like the Absolute Leader of the daily press rally propaganda briefings at the White House.
Musical Guest: TWISTERELLA on Your Radio Rides (Again!) Featuring Joe Jackson.
— Narrator Dermont Hoggins’ voice paints the scene at the lectern of the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room.
https ://cloudatlas .fandom .com /wiki/ Dermot_Hoggins
Special Agent McManus is called after a three-hour diatribe riffed by The Absolute Leader of The United States of America on the occasion of his most colossal fuck-up to date, the COVID – 19 pandemic denial that Donald John Trump used for his re-election campaign benefit during the LUNAR eclipse that ushered in the Chinese New Year of the RAT, and which coincidentally awoke The Werewolf of London, which just happened to have been spotted this past weekend during the Jupiter and Saturn cameo on the Occassion of the PINK MOON in the Southern Mexican state of Chiapas, in a quadrant of the Lacandona Jungle. Chilean news outlets initially spread the rumor that said Werewolf was the infamous “Denis” de Paris, but sources close to El Mundo de Mando on the periphery of Le Monde nixed those reports by confirming D.A.T. “El Lobo Hombre” remains hopelessly in a state of ‘Mhee’ around the quadrants of Saint–Sulpice, Sainte–Genevieve, Saint–Eustache and of course Notre Dame ISIS de Lutèce.
Meanwhile on Deadline WaWa Land in New York, Nicolle Wallace recovers from Ari Melber’s antenna knockdown from yesterday night. Also, the UNITED states say to Donald Trump to go Fuck himself… CALIFORNIA LEADS THE GÜEY, putos! Over at Curly’s Heilemann’s Kitchen, there’s no evidence of pizza being a factor in that island so, this can only mean one thing, John Heilemann is a fucking Android. And no Johnny boy, you are not fooling anyone with them utility fruits in the backgroung, öüï know that them ORANGES are not Sunkist grade.
Remus on this [past] weekend Saturday Night “dating game” sketch might disagree with the Amazon fellow below ⤵️
https ://metrotimes .com /news-hits /archives /2020/04/02 /dildos-are-non-essential-amazon-worker-says-as-romulus-facility-protests-conditions-amid-coronavirus-crisis
In local news, the lockdown is extended until the first week of May, which can only mean one thing, our mattress padding will not be delivered for another month and we are running low on LA Semana Que Philippe Labró on the CNEWS matines.
— Narrator Dermont Hoggins voice now returns to Our deer Absolute leader, at The Rose Garden:
Rudolph Giuliani’s independent snoop digging in the Ukraine got wind from a pair of Eastern European clochards who are known to frequent the Maub quadrant of a dame called Vilma, a Mexican Source for the former Minister of Culture of President Emmanuel Macron (code name little Jupiter); according to them Clochards at the maub the scoop is D.A.T. the filthy French were hacking another envoy to meddle, much like that superstore merchant Lafayette did during the American Revolution, but in Today’s affairs of the current self–appointed KING inside of The United States of america. For the record, The former Gotham Mayor had a mighty mighty mole and his name was Special Agent McManus.
— The following is read, verbatim, by The Absolute Leader of them united states of america, from patio just outside the back section of The West Wing.
I, Donald John Trump, the only ONE that can rule the United States of America, have it on good authority to inform you, my subjects; my peons; my undocumented workers, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera,… D.A.T. the French are planning to wrap a very dangerous SPY inside of the Arc de Triomphe and!!! Send it via the French Poste like some sort of Trojan Unicorn… or something like that!
To add insult to injury, the dirty French are using —yet— another “Christo” to wrap a pretty pink bow on this “monument” and present it to Öüï the people, as some sort of “gift”, like that “lady liberty floosy” W.H.O. is known to advertise under her skirt!!! No less, with a vacancy sign for the tired, the poor, the huddled masses yearning to breathe free. What are we, a beacon of light? more Disturbing, still, was the “manifesto” that our intrepid and beautiful special agent McManus, formally of the Baldwin Clan (those motherfuckers), found attached on the inside of the wrapping paper with which the aforementioned “trojan” Arc was to be wrapped with, right now our decrypting agents from Trump University are hard at work trying to decode the strange language that these sedition instructions are printed in. As i speak to you, MY SUBJECTS; MY PEONS; MY UNDOCUMENTED WORKERS, ETCETERA, ETCETERA, ETCETERA,… special agent mcmanus is trying to reach a “CHARLIE HEBDO” w.h.o. apparently holds the key to the code.