Tag Archives: Maud Gatel — Assemblée Nationale 2024

Eye ho’id it was Ewe — Let’s get some tacos

Love Cats

 

Like Öüï said, “night and day”

And right about now, if you are not reading this blog, you might be wondering why the editorial staff of this most non-consequential blog is flashing y’all with our very own meal card, well, that’s becuase the Municipal Race is about to get started and, should the current Minister of Culture, Rachida Dati, get elected to City Hall, this might be one of the last months that Öüï get one of those cards issued to us.

https ://www .revolutionpermanente .fr /As-soon-as-someone-moves-in-we-will-remove-them-immediatly—Rachida-Dati-veut-lancer-une-chasse-aux-sans-abris

Hoy no hubo jazz.

And Catherine, it’s not hyporbole, heck youse the one that welcomed MoDem  to the place where Évrybody knows your name (la bagagerie) in 2024, now, in 2026 MoDem is wearing the “trash collector’s” uniform and going around homeless campsites (la mano-en-la-mano) with Minister Dati. To be fair, we lost track of Assembly woman Maud Gatel but it’s going to be interesting to see how the race develops, considering that Minister Dati wants to erradicate people like me from Ariel Weil’s, Paris Centre, and the other 16 arrondissements aussi(e).

https ://actu .fr /ile-de-france /paris_75056 /genocidaire-vs-antisemite-sophia-chikirou-et-ariel-weil-a-couteaux-tires-pour-les-municipales-a-paris

Now, the way things are going, the Parti socialiste is going to crucify Mí (no pun intended 🇮🇱 ) and, the La France Insoumise is pretty much the home of Georgina Moreno and the whole of morena-francia in the block of Mélenchon, so 🔥 damned if Ewe do—damned if Jew don’t.

…

You’ve all heard of the son of a preacher man³

³~. It’s not one of those…

This here is the offSpring of a Bank man. It’s a political cocktail mixed with Whisky 🥃 and Sangria 💃🏽. The effect is a tangent that touches the center right of europhiles who detest De Gaulle and raise a toast to Giscard d’Estaing while raising their mimosas to the good people of MoDem and Mme. Maud at l’Assemblée.

Musical guest
Flaco Spinetta y el pescado de Oyuki

In our next segment Öüï touches base with Pedro Salmerón Sanguíneos’ who unbeknownst to him will be challenged by Adanowsky and Carolina de Maigret Regret into El Pancracio de La Arena Coliseo para una Lucha dedos a tres caídas sin límite de intereses patrocinada por El Chase Manhattan Bank y los zapatistas exiliados de París.

La référée for this CATCH will be in the hands of Elena Poniatowska… la pinche “Tante” de Carolina (la más vieja, selon son même spiel*) which indicates and CONFIRMS that the bout will be Fixed and proves that the Only True Thing in Life is: su majestad la Lucha Libre. 

*~. Older, but better, but older. Rando Chante, 2019.

Sure Jacques, but does that include RSA and the Toussaint bonus?

“I’m a space invader… and Willie Geist will be a rock and roll bitch for Ewe ».

Norman Die-die-die Red-ruM-ruM-ruM... don’t udder a single Muuuu.

 

Still to Come
Musical Guest:
SEPULTURA + OBITUARIY + JESUS PIECE

And, Representative Gatel, Maud… one-each, at the bendita Assemblée Nationale de París, isn’t it the same old beaten horse, it’s always the François Hollande niggers (or the Arabs) in Marseille, it’s always the ghetto, —IT’S NEVER!!! And little ol’ i literally mean NEVER! Never the posh French Nantucket equivalent in la Loire-Atlantique.

Personally, Madame Representative, as someone who actually met Pedro Páramo en Coma-La, i can tell all of Ewe that some among your precious little club (La France) are no different than “Los Hijos de Televisa” en la Maison de l’Amérique latina.

… any hoot, Representative Gatel, the good thing about pusher apprenticeship programs in Marseille is that Scarface became a hit in France.

And now, the rest of Carlito’s story… Doris was pissed. Doris fumed. Doris had gotten that particular leather 🧥 jacket as a gift, and you are not going to guess who gifted that particular Leather jacket to Doris on one of her Mexico outings when she was sowing her Oats in the Hall.

The year was 1982 and no body in Évry thought at the time that a French rapper in Marseille 2024 would be echoing Big Daddy Kane’s epic tribute to ODB’s “Calling Mr. Welfare³” in honor of Tony Montana and other assorted thugs 🦷. At the club, a GOVERNMENT RUN (prostíbulo paraestatal) Whorehouse from the JoLoPo days, Doris hooked up with The Lithuanian Leather Tanning criminal syndicate run by the husband of a Bulgarian CELL BIOLOGIST with multiple TAX HAVENS in PANAMA, via the Rosbif Virgin Islands.

³~. Revenu de Solidarité Active, pronounced  “RiSA” for its initials en Español.

Morray, j’suis grillé ou quoi?
Dès que j’parle à une meuf
Ceci, cela
Tu fais ci, t’as plein d’meufs
On t’a vu là
J’connais elle, wesh?

Booba not to be confused with Booboo because that’s another concept of an IDEA.

Entonces, Doris went to Mexico, LEÓN- Guanajuato, to be preciso because as Juan Preciado used to say in Colima:

it’s too fucking White around here, vamonos pa’Penjamo, y luego a comprar calzado (a León) que al cabo allí eso no vale nada.

o algo así.

De cualquier manera, meet U.S. here on the same blog and at the Same time for chapter Tú of “Carlito’s Story”.

Right now iTs Jesus Christ Superstar (or the Church of Man Love) as Willem Dafoe in “The Last Temptation of Juan Preciado y la negra Soledad”.

 

goooooo, Dodgers!

Page 2 … the rest of the story 🛵🔥🪇

Previously on, A fucking scooter burned on at Ravioli 

And Zeppelin goes here.

… [W]ell alright!

In WaWa Land, Representative Ocazio~Cortes pulled out a nerf gun and that guy, Raskin, from Marie Land brought the balls, as previously predicted. The two, were set on rounding up a run away Court… neither knew how to handle Henry The Horse.

https ://thehill .com /homenews /house /ocasio-cortez-raskin-to-introduce-legislation-to-rein-in-a-fundamentally-unaccountable-and-rogue-supreme-court/

In Paris? … well in Paris, Évry thing is out of order and who knows who is the nigger in charge. One thing for sure is that President Emmanuel is keeping all of the toys and the “territoires” can go watch the Olympics on MsNbc.

Over at Marjo’s Kalten-Porterblack, well… It’s not appropriate for children and this being the twilight hour, well eWe know 🎺, the walls have ears.

Now about that scooter on fire, long story short, the beer delivery guy used a case of Perrier to extinguish the blaze.

Trou Story, Mme. Hidalgo… check your cameras, IT!, is all D.A.R.E.

Note to Hidalgo, don’t worry about the shark madam alcalde, just don’t jump that motherfucker. It’s been done before.

Oh, happy theys are here to stay, Kyle.

Tiburón a la vista : Socia°Lista — morena rancia

Deer, Luc Free Log, fuck you and the helicopters that you love. With that in mind, let’s talk shop, our first involuntary guest is La Somme.

For the record what a time to be alive, Representative Ruffin, leave it to the filthy French to have an snap 🫰 election, la Fête de La Musique and, the motherfucking opening ceremony of the Games of the XXXIII Summer Olympics all in the span of one month… and with a shark 🦈 on the loose up and down l’Ille-de-France. That’s fucking impressive, mister Ruffin.

Es que ser no es lo mismo que estar, porque estar viva is just to Be Alive, ¡As opposed to being dead, —eh! Ojo con eso ya que « ser » muy viva is a personal quality of equis persona, it means that the person is very smart and more often than not it juxtaposes on the thresholds of opportunism. Ask Gilberto Bosques en París.

… and mister Ruffin, it’s no coincidence that “el orgullo” del nepotismo de La Maison de La Radio en París, not in Issy, named his new album, “Viva tú”…

Anyhow, Representative Gatel, do you qualify for RSA while the Assembly is out of order, or are you Schiltz out of Luck?

Now, mister Ruffin, —much like the Shark ‘honeymooning-down-by-the-Seine premise, the RSA question might seem a bit asinine, but there have been episodes of sharks venturing onto a river, and if I may recall, there’s a Housekeeper who got elected in recent past, right?

https ://www .assemblee-nationale .fr /dyn /deputes /PA795438

Sure, mister Ruffin, sure… Eye knows that you have that little sardonic magazine and that coffee-making racket you got going with Chuck, or Philippe, or whatever your assistant’s name is, but what about representative Keke? Is she supposed to go back to her “personal services for parti-culeros”?

Bébé Requin—Hardy cover.

Sponsored by RFPP and Juanito Guanabacoa…
morena~Rancia invita

Ask Georgina Moreno or Alicia Leos, mister Ruffin, both are the epitome of double entendre and all things shady in the Public Square of “mamma Marianne” and the backstabbing politics of the Mexican tacos stands (world wide).

Over at the Morjo Show, it’s Summer Movies at The Drive~In, at the silver screen multiplex, it’s “Back to my family” and “Mí and Mrs. Jones”. Mika is not a-mused… no wait, actually she is, her giggles gave her a güey.

Any how, there’s a shark roaming at THEE Canal de Saint-Martin, and I can confirm, that there was a dead guy at the Seine when Bejo was being filming JAWS (in French).

Inside sources under the nº 7 at La Conciergerie on the Right Bank relay that the dead fellow was not floating between two péniches-es—ese, but on the stairway to the Commerce Court at Cité, I know because I was there when the flicks sealed the scene… now say hello to my little Axolotl.

Revenge is a plate best served with Canadian Bacon ⚽

It’s ok, Maud Gatel, you don’t have to go to work today, heck, Eye reckons that it will be up to the frogs if you have to return to work at all, in any CASE scenario, you will remain an Honorary Member of the Places Where Évrybody Knows Your N ame, cheers!

Europe to they… a closer Luc. Consulte la Sección Amarilla.

https ://www .sports .fr /football /equipe-de-france /dissolution-de-lassemblee-le-sale-coup-de-tf1-aux-bleus

… and Richard Haass, I called this first, “Twenty Years ago,” Sgt. Pepper said that Zizou stole the voters to the European election, fast-forward to last night’s match between Les Bleus and whatever Canada calls their soccer players, and it was all about 15 minutes of “fuck Ewe guys, I’m going home”, but in French.

Yellow is the color of extinction.

By the way, mister French, God called and left a message at Saint Peter’s Cathedral, she said that she does not love you anymore.

French Karens and the Palestinians lovers at République

 🎶… I’m going down to South Park, gonna meet some (⚖️) friends of Mine³.

🤠

³~. The country music version, knot Primus, primo.

Starring the Big Focker, himself, Bobby Di Nero.

And still to come, in Paris, France (altura entre HdV and La Concordia), both tourist and locals are witnessing the recommendation of the Angelino’s Mayor, Karen Bass, to her Parisian counterpart, Madame Anne “ras-de-bol” Hidalgo, in the form of a ghetto 🚁 bird mapping 🗺️ the earth along la rue de Ravioli.

Sin negritas en la rajada.

Across the Saint Cloud domaine, it’s another edition, after a 17 year hiatus, of el orgullo de radiofrance’s népotisme, Manu Chao… ahora sin negritas, —en la rajada 🍉.

Watta’ Melon Man u, Chao !!! 

At the Morjo Show, Richard “avocado“ Haass just absolved Israel’s 2000 lbs. bombs with a Donald Rumsfeld quote about unfortunate wars on a tragic golf course.

🏌🏻

Any way, fuck golf, let’s welcome the Negro League… of their own.

⚾

And, Madame representative Gatel, as probably the first Made-in-France refugee, Eye is happy to inform you that you have been accepted as an Honorary Member of The Place Where Évrybody Knows Your Name… but please don’t bring your colleague, Karen at The Assembly, not the Karen with the ghetto birds from South Central ~ Long Beach.

 

Dear, Maud Gatel… Happy Saint-Germain-des-Prés³

https ://www .lemonde .fr /economie /article /2024/05/03 /at-france-inter-journalists-and-producers-worry-for-their–liberte-d-expression

Cocaine Unfrosted 🐯 The breakfast of champions… bola de putos!

 

… and, Katty Kay, nevermind the pop tarts, have some UNFROZEN COCAINE for breakfast. Now back in the day, in El Ey off course, it was a primo to just get things started, no time for lines just roll it into a pop tart and… ah nevermind, I am not supposed to talk directly (in)to the fourth wall.

https ://www .radiofrance .fr /fip /podcasts /club-jazzafip /special-festival-jazz-a-saint-germain-des-pres-paris

And the colored girls go: What it is—what, IT!, is.

 

³~. On this, Press Freedom Day, take it from me, Mme. representative, the first Made-in-France refugee, courtesy of President François Hollande and The Year of Mexico in France, Russia as the biggest menace to Marianne is a checkerboard ♟️on an ice rink ⛸️, unfortunately for the next hour or so nothing else matters ‘cus Eye just smoked a joint.

But any how, who, why and/or when, señor Sicilia, I tried to talk to you back when you visited the Grand Palais foreign press welcome center in 2012, however, just as with Omar and the Ayotzinapa legal adviser, mister Pablo Gleason and the Cervantes Institute fellows, including a little propaganda tool named ULLOA, all together as a collective, had tainted your judgement/cause with total slander towards my independent journalism project in la bendita y sacrosanta France.

But why?

On the next segment Los Toreros Muertos will tell you why, —Javier.

Where Eyes comes from I reckon we call it a “blimp”, but that’s just to fuck with Michelin.

 

Across Pigalle, however, los perros ladran and The Man From La Mancha don’t give a Brel. Hope Hicks on the other hand is frying crying on the stand.

But never mind Donald Trump, I am focused on Sicilia, the man who back in 2012* at least on 2012 should have known that his sabbatical in France was sponsored by, “football, fado, and Fatima²”, because the people handling his propaganda, or Public Relations were non other than the part-time Mexican Embassy photographer and Pablo Gleason, who of course was aligned with Televisa and the Mexican Cinéma Show in Cannes.

*~. Postales milagrosas a Enrique Peña Nieto. Rue de Longchamp, Grand Palais, Église de La Madeleine, South of France.

²~. It’s the Portuguese man o’ war formula for shithole countries govern-mental control.

La Palanca de Diego Corrientes y un curado de fresa

Support your local predator… and on this Global day of La Mamapacha please be advised that things, according to the Talking Heads, are “same as it Eva was”.

https ://www .francetvinfo .fr /politique /j-y-suis-confrontee-tous-les-jours-dans-le-camp-presidentiel-le-sexisme-insidieux-derriere-la-parite-de-facade

Happy hour on pulque de guayaba… and all of the street for you to pass-out on.

And, madame representative Gatel, nevermind the changing of the guard in Polanco³, according to your correlegionaria MoDemista, and vice-président of the French National Assembly, Elodie Jacquier-LaForge from l’Isère, Eighty years after Évry slithery cunt was granted the right to vote sexism has not shifted the camaraderie (compadrazgo during The Year of Mexico in France) between men in the locker rooms of power.

³~. Changing of ambassador to ambassadrice at the French siege in La CDMX, formally, el DeFe… basically chilangolandia.

To The Moon – Alicia

Sheriff Buford T. Justice:

— Any how, Governor Newsome, I certainly hope that Ewe don’t take this personally, after all, one can SinSeerLy remember the fate of Julius Benedict, — remember him, Governor? The fate of that Mengle’s Kid. I mean, it would not be the first time that a California governor gets knocked-up… remember Junior?

… and, Governor Newsom, 🚓 Öüï’s gonna need a pregnancy test from Ewe. Welcome to Alabama. 🚓 Youse not in the Neutral Zone, any moor?

 

Crazy train… yup, that’s a rail on my plant*

Eclipse months are Ozzy months on this blog…

 

And, reverend Al, your black-ass been working out? You bashful frackamuffer, you need to bring the track suit back.

In local news:

… after a joint (action committee) it’s back to a 36-hour news-reel 📽️ 💮