Category Archives: Etc.

Ceremonial Award — Opening Act, enter Ms. Dior

The following screen-grab must be read in a Brian Williams Voice…

Good Evening, we begin our itinerary along the banks of the Ebro River, and our guide for this journey is a man who at his prime, could make anyone wearing the badge or insignia of Francoist Iberian Peninsula, –and its inner circle– tremble with fear. Indeed, from Guadalajara to Valencia and all the way up to Barcelona, “la banda de El Mexicano” was, to Spain’s small farmers and factory workers, the “avenging justiciero” that… [Brian Williams audio gets cut off].

Kasie Hunt can be heard over Brian Williams silent talking head, his panel of four is aware that the headline that Brian is reading is out of whack.

Kasie Hunt:
—Wait, what? Williams, what a heck are Ewe talking about, eh?

Brian Williams:
—We seem to be experiencing technical difficulties, our Laser Rock correspondent seems to be trying to get our attention, we switch it over to her.

The Kids Are All Right… Mika and Joe got tied up at ‘The Boys Room‘, they are running a bit late, so Kc-Dc and Heilemann take over the BriWi Troubleshooting duties. Mean while, in La-La-Land Donald Trump is pardoning Rosanne Barr… or some thing like that.

K.H.
– Brian, I think that you are confusing your Magnesium supplements with your Gymnasium membership.

BriWi:
—Excuse me?

K.H.
—You are supposed to be talking about the National Sport whose capital is Guadalajara –México– not Guadalajara, Spain.
You know, Brian, you are probably one of those people that reference “Cielito Lindo” during the World Cup as being a Mexican inspired song, eh!

BriWi:
—Well isn’t it?

Kasie Hunt: say there Chief BriWi, are we on Peyote, Shrums, or plain ol’Acid?
Brian Williams: Uhhhh, come again? It’s actually this thing called Sotol.

K.H.
—No, Brian, it is not… there is no “Sierra Morena” within the Mexican mountainous ranges… puras Madres, pendejo.
You probably grabbed the wrong script; the one for next week’s book review from the collection of “Life Stories”.

BriWi:
—Oh, Crap! You are not silly, Kasie. I mistakenly grabbed the one from the bin labeled “El Mexicano,” I knew that my segment was supposed to cover a dressage of Mexican female riders from Guadalajara, I just happened to breeze through the abstract and Guadalajara popped right in front of my eyes…

TimeStamp: Oh, Dear Louis; There She Goes… in Central Siren Time.
It’s the 18 hundred hour block in CET

La Maman et La Putain… Les portes sont ouvertes

ISSY—SNL might be off for the Summer, but this doesn’t mean that Weekend Edition is off the Radar, stick around, in ‘The Blink of an Eye‘ a beautiful freak in the form of a gang of EELS is a-Gonna make “Your Lucky Day in Hell”

TimeStamp: Los Marietta‘s on Fip Central Station, give Thanks to Satan… or something like that.

Yes indeed—YES INDEED! Bambi is Dead _ Teeny Tiny Cat is Relieved. •-_¡_–• We [the staff] are at ‘monop central’ and we continue with our Full Dress Rehersal for the pomp and circumstance award ceremony in honor of Teeny Tiny Cat for standing The Post, until properly being relieved, Yes indeed. Bambi is Dead!… Fair use of Getty Images and the AFP… todas las fotos en el cuadro por: armando segovia.

…TimeStamp: Las Ocho de la noche en Tiempos de La Europa Central.

Coming up on the programiing is Gallery Walk… the doors are open, eh!

De tal rama tal batuta… astilla, tal astilla, porque la batuta es otra cosa.

Anygüey, we [the staff]are still recovering fron ‘The Night at The Museum’ and already tomorrow and Sunday every artist workshop and gallery on la Île-de–France leaves their doors open to the viewing public.Right now, ‘monop central’is about to shut it’s doors and outside it is raining cats’s and dogs.

You forgot the Mirror and froggy’s upside down head

El Grillo, El ratón, John Wayne y el río… musical Guest: Stan Getz; Ewe get it?

But first a word from our non-Sponsors:
The New York Times, Op-Ed page.

El grillo y los nopales de Mickey… Issy, don Grillo wait for it, wait…

 

Dear, David Icke… big fan of “Rowdie” Roddy Piper here

Dear, non–readers of this most inconsecuential blog, we [the staff] regret to misinfom Ewe, that because the world today, Wednesday May 9th of 2018, woke up with absolutely no News to tell, we’ve decided to instead write a Public Service Announcement dedicated exclusively to, The One and Only, Mr. David Icke:

Sir, you are wrong.

We [the staff] believe that when it comes to shapeshifting cunts and assholes in the halls of power, you Sir, confuse your reptilians from your swines.

With all due respect to the porcine species, the following is “the” real story of  the origins of  where the Shapeshifting Swines come from… stick around, because ancient scrolls in the form of our Original Idea*, which we coined as “Piss Art” will reveal a shocking truth that will explain the reason for there not being any news to report on this most peculiar Miércoles… sorry Mexico, but with Macron’s reforms, which kind of mimic Peña Nieto’s reforms, and with all the graft in–and–around–and–up–&–below the House of Trump, that ol’ saying of: COMO MÉXICO NO HAY DOS! —that saying, “Cielito Lindo,” it no longer applies only to you, Corazón.

*… yup, we [the] staff are time travelers also, por ejemplo, Raquelito, in Tijuana México right now it’s 8 in the a.m. in Pacific Fleet Time.

Previously on asegovia3:

Dear, Alex Alter @ The NYT, part ii … sur les jupes de La Bruja de la Odisea.

Yup, if Trump knew the coordinates to the Isle of Ææa [book TEN] he might begin to understand where his DNA is rooted from, eh.  }-—-~~~*>  Piss art is courtesy of a bunch of winos à Paris — Visual effects are from the coloring pages of “Piss Art” by: armando segovia / segoviaspixes 2018; this is a work–IN–progress, eh!

                                 “How his naked ears were tortured By the Sirens sweetly singing…¹”

Did you know that it was the French, who actually went ahead and invented: Cream, and for a brief period of the ‘60’s turned Clapton into God?

So, legend hast it, that the lineage of the Trump’s in power can be blurred back all the way to the middle of the Bronze Age [Troy VI (c. 1750-1300 BCE)] after the end of the Trojan War and the homecoming of a black-vessel sailing warrior named Ulysses, perhaps you’ve heard of him, Ginger Baker’s roadie invented him, Jack Bruce sang about his Great Tales, and Clapton with just one pedal wha–wha’s the hell out of the Sirens song; logically, by triangulating the fact that the Frogs, through a bicycle chain shift mechanism called the “Disraeli Gears”, the French forged ahead and invented Cream’s second, but most popular album according to some rag called Rolling Stone, —tablet— or something like that. Sure, some might argue that because “White Room” is the heavy hitter on Cream’s third and final double LP, and that “Crossroads” is the cherry on top of Wheels of Fire (1968), Disraeli Gears (1967) should fall back to the back of the charts, sin embargo, Willie Geist, Wheels’ was clocked–a–Rolling and doing 205, while Disraeli by it’s own merits occupies the 114th position of the 500 Greatest Albums of All Time, but you know what Willie? Fuck the charts, for all intents and purposes Disraeli Gears is the greatest Cream of three Crops —period!

… anygüey, David Icke, over at La Quinta y Mezcal™️, (that’s a notorious Bar in Tijuana that hasn’t opened it’s doors to the public just yet) it is still not Mother’s Day, in any case the staff here is timeshifitng the stem of this vessel towards Aztlán… TimeStamp: 08h45 from an abandoned villa just outside Fréjus, 83061.

En Tijuana faltan 15 para un nuevo día y luego DIEZ para un nuevo México… TimeShift is courtesy of iCandi Apps®️

 

 

Intermedio… or Something like that, eh!

« What a palette for Palatino », eh!*

*As heard on…

OTRO NIVEL: brown sugar, baby!

Floating High!… LAYLA, Who?

anyGüey… « it’s like that, and that’s the way that it GOes! »

RUN—d—Mc.

Right NOW, radio france internationale IS CLOSING la canopèe for a francoPHONIE event… or SOMETHING like that… outsiders NEED not APPLY! Eh!!!

… La francophonie es para los franceses… or SOMETHING like THAT! Eh… We [the staff] love La France, but when a « badge » is needed to belong, or just be part of THE AUDIENCE then the SHOW is nothing but A FARCE! Eh.

… coming up, The Jazz Hour, or Something Like That, eh!

U-don’t-Say—eh!

In the Mean Time… first thing is FIRST!

Did you know, que a través de la figuración los franceses inventaron los infiernos endemoniados en Japón

From the apophenia files:

La Concierge de Fautrier —Transliteration follows…

“Submitted for you approval”

… y aunque asté, Comadre Lety, no lo crea, cuenta la leyenda de que a la portera del edificio en dónde Jean Fautrier hacía sus fechorías contestatarías en contra de los abstractos y surrealistas de los años del tal Gatsby, a ella —la concierge— un día se le ocurrió salir de su seguro entorno en el Museo de Arte Moderno en París; casi umbral con el Palacio de Tokio, ¿y qué crees, Comadre? pues que a la muy fodonga se le hizo fácil cruzar El Sena para ver “que pepenaba” en el Museo de Chirac, aka (entre nos) también conocido como “El Branly”.

Shapeshifting across La Seine… Foto por armando segovia / segoviaspixes 2018_CopyLeft.

La cosa fue de que así como le pasó a “Lola
la colombiana”, inquieta princesa que se atrevió a salir sola pese a las advertencias de Lucho Argain para que no lo hiciera, pues a la portera de Fautrier también la mataron, y por si faltara menos, “LA MATARON A LAS TRES DE LA TARDE—A LAS TRES DE LA TARDE”.

d’esta clika ni ˋLa Llorona’ se salva… Transliteration follows, eh!

Mucha gente no lo sabe, pero el resulto d’ese brinco fue un enanito verde que mochilea por la novena dimensión condenado por un maligno signo, para que el pobre desgraciado pueble esa dimensión con demonios que le brotan de su frente, y por si faltara menos, —cada vez que en esa dimensión cae el quinto Sol.

El meco en proceso… pavimento por la Mairie del 75001, mojón de pintura acrílica de algún pintor de brocha gorda descuidado, foto por segoviaspixes / armando segovia 2018—CopyLeft, eh!

…y Colorín Colorado este cuento es un intermedio.

Hey, Sammy Hagar… in France 80 is the new 55… transliteration from the Red Rocker and the red rocking chair, follows, if you need context, check your local Classic Rock catalogue, or song industry mag called the  “Inrockuptibles”… or something like that.

TimeStamp: The Original 11th hour in Central NATO Time.

Ladies in Gemeni…
con ustedes, un enanito verde con una mochila. ¡Una advertencia¡ Por Ninguna Razón se les vaya ocurrir llamarlo “mestizo”, este engendro es como los actores de la CIA., “La Resentida” de Chile, (así que licenciado Brozo) por favor tome usted asiento para que disfrute la serie de “BBC’s” que La Tercera les esta metiendo a los chilenos que no son racistas, sino más bien como lo transcribe el Courrier Internacional: il sont INVENTIF.

Sac-à-dos… y yo te doy Las Tres… dear: compañia “La Resentida” since you fancy yourselfs as Brit’s, it all makes sense thanks to Óscar Contardo, de la Tercera, eh. — Context “mis amigos, sigue… saludos desde un teatro en Montmartre, y gracias por su “apoyo”. Atte: el stafff.

Dear, Alex Alter @ “The” NYT… part ii

lThere’s a most hypocritical phrase in Spanish that describes all that one—anyone—might have wanted to have for themselves, and it’s called “envidia de la buena”, i’ ll let my friend Gustavo translate that for you… i believe that he’s listed in your staff’s go-get-to staff, but for comma saving space, let it be known that i give my left nut for the opportunity to have “roamed the Met, marveling for hours ,” like Ms. Madeline Miller did as child, pero instead, the street were my gallery…

Fear and Loathing in Paris… nahhhh…

…

i (armando segovia) find it amusing for Ms. Miller to infuriate herself because Circe had to fuck the hero of the story as “conciliatory gesture”, because in modern times GENDER IS IRRELEVANT, alpha bitch or alpha dog are n par…

TODAY

It’s a race to the top and fuck and suck who you need to; you must, albeit, it helps if the elevator that you arrived ∴ in ∴ was already set for the top floor… although, even at the top there’s a RAT race and flesh is the price; they just eat a different kind of food, to “make it to the bitter end.”

For the FNAC®️ record…

Sur les jupes de…la bruja de La Odisea.

…anygüey, the staff is preocupied witn a work in progress called Napoléon, so fuck the Greek, since the Romans prevailed, eh!  Mr. Macron?

Synapses Supremus… this is a work in progress, eh!

TimeStamp: 21 hundred hours in Central NATO Time.

Man in the box, eh!

 

Every once in a Blue Moon on a Chinese Dog of a Year…

Death and Taxes can go to hell… at least for another two more days, here’s why:

Because it’s motherfucking Weekend Edition, Colin Jost—that’s why.

Taxman calls on the 17th —this Dog Year.

Cheers!

<*/-—-~~~{ •¡• }~~~-—-\*>

P.S… at 22 hundred hours in Central NATO Time:

That’s right Colin Jost, we (the staff) WILL SEE EWE, and your ILLUMINATI tag alongs, AKA the World Thievery Corporation… « In Hell », and we can’t hardly wait, you little golfing Focker, You!

In the mean time, Napoléon and Josephine are getting ready to give us a Strategy class, in the next sketch.

Here’s a sketch in the form of apophenia of the Ol’Emperor himself:

Hard headed Emperor… context from « La Calculadora » à Malmaison, and her love for bankers, and power follows…

Laidies in Gemeni, con ustedes

« La Calculadora »

… but first un « petit » disclaimer:

If there’s one thing that we [the staff] love about The Frogs, is believe it or not, their spirit of self deprecation when it comes to the historical figures that make up the ingredients of their « pot–au-feu » (caldo en Castellano) palabra con la que una ex–amiga solía describir (en forma de auto-albur, por decir) a su propia madre, diciéndome que su progenitora (la de ella, no la de ustedes) era “una puta fea”…

!Va! y ni cómo contestar; porque aquí entre nos’ yo creo que mi ex-amiga se refería a que “la seño” estaba fea del alma, porque del cuerpo y cara, la señora tenía el consome suficiente como para armonizar con aquello que le da, “sabor al Caldo”.

Chepina la del Imperio… “La stratégie ça me connaît après la mort de mon premier mari, j’ai commencé a fréquenter des banquiers, PLEIN de Banquier, et je me suis peu à peu rapproché des Cercles de Pouvoir.”

Las fuentes del Hotel de Los Invalidos, follows, eh!

“No hay pedo, he won’t get far a pie”

TimeStamp: the new Latin Quarter on Siren Central Time.

… and the second rule of AA is? Actual TimeStamp: 21h00. Get–Up, now.

“Drink Water and then call yo’Daddy and ask him
for a Diamond Ring, a brand new car, Caviar,
after all, it’s good to be born A Mason.”
Daddy,
by Julie London

Next Stop, at the movies with ad blocks and limited leg room at The Forum.

… and boy, we [the staff] hope that you take them 1000 bills from Mustachio Rivera, but sadly, let’s be honest because at the rate that the Muller investigation is going, and as that dark fellow on the Weekend Update on the SNL puts it [“Che” we believe that he goes by] does have a point when it comes to the Teflon®️ quality of Donald Trump, “if the daily McDo diet doesn’t get him,” what will?… anygüey, Guapo, what’s the status on that stupid show that we [the staff] pitched to you starting YOU, —wearing nanas dress—eh?

At the movies, en francés:

The Second Rule of AA is?…
that there is no such thing as a Second AA Rule—¡Salud!!!
And don’t Drink Da Water, because Fish like to piss and them creatures also like to Fuck in it, too.

Gracias por las flores… TimeStamp: 21h30 CET