Weekend Edition Round Up at the Ed Sullivan Report

I don’t care what Ewe think.

Readers Digest’s:f02525e9-2306-4638-8a19-6897577f0307

This is: The ColberthRAND Report with Kat MotherFUNwhack McKinnon. Sponsored by Canned Heat, Rockey Mountain Oysters and, of course, Bradley Cooper’s Canned Oyesters.

Bright Sombras—Nada más:7c91bd20-a372-4a2d-8abe-0e6446fcba71

On today’s course:


Sorry Omar, the Melting Pot is being held hostage, “and so there was only one thing left that Öüî, the staff,could do”. Find out, what it is that we could do, only on The ColberthRAND Report.

With the Martin Luther King, Jr. Federal Holiday officially closed, we now enter into the 21st day of the year with Donald Trump officially in office, and Pete Williams Davidson (Sorry, Pete Williams) can now officially lend us his voice over to US [wabbits], as Öüî rewiew Yao and Intocable.

Kool Aid ®️ follows:2af7dac5-f583-4f37-9552-f9d3d6732b23 —•|~~€ ISSY, Omar, yo, Armando Segovia / Armando Serrano Prieto no sé si en Burquina Faso, o mismo en el Gran Congo las cosas marchen bien o el asunto este de la chingada como en Managua, en Guatemala, o en TELEVISA; por poner una señal de referencía, pero lo cierto es de que “el doctor netas” se comporta igualito como el clán Azcárraga lo hizo cuando el Clán Ázcarraga era “el mejor guardia civil” del supremo gobierno. De cualquier manera Omar, tú no eres africano, tú eres francés (y aparte Bradley Cooper te enseño a cocinar comida para los Michelines–es–eses; y luego aparte, Omar, pues Francia no sufre d’ese tipo de “jineteadas” por los poderes en turno). ¡Qué va!


DEJE DE TOQUETEAR AL CORSARIO AND STEP AWAY FROM THE RAIDER, Bill Majer! If you want liquid chocolate visit my nigga Michael Che over at Michael’s Bird Cages and Beyond, he’s got scoops for you in some kind of Shack. Now, Bill, you fucking Licantropo in #Howl, tonight there’s an eclipse. Here  goes an amulet for You, and EyE want EwE, motherfucker, to share the visuals with the “Shameless” William H. Macy, over at the ColberT ReporT. Needles to say, the pages are in no need of glue, so Aim High, motherfuckers.

MAI 1974 follows… BUNNY!!! Mis-en-Scene, Bunny. Hurry up doll. Frank is almost here.

And God created Women:3c54de8f-7b76-44a3-8170-82298eb8be9a — A friend would like to thank the SDF who left this for US [wabbits] so that Öüî could pick Hugh’s Hype like an Easter Egg — in January. Thank You, Chuy. It’s NICE to see a bush again.

Musical Guest:
Delgado del Fundillo
Los J’aime Le Carton.

En Vivo desde La Placita
Gilberto Bosques
CASI Esquina con Alfonso Reyes

Anyway, Bill Maher, YOU fuckers are doing it again. Y’all are HYPING the 2020 Doll House and it’s not even Christmas yet. HOW ABOUT worrying about IMPEACHMENT FIRST.

And another thing, Bill, the next time that you feel the urge to cover GENTRIFICATION, ask Robert O’Rourke, from El Chuco, please. And as you do, stroke him for your viewers and fondle him like you did with Tiny, the American Hand-Ball player this past Friday.

Now go get Stormy Daniels and apologize to her for being such a patronizing prick, always praising The Hefe’ at the Playboy Mansion, and telling your experience, much like Los Amigos de México en Francia tell theirs as they brag about their exchanges with Carlos Fuentes. My point, Werewolf, is that you praise the Playboy creator for his lifestyle, and then you feel sorry for a porn star who fucks because she likes it and because she gets legal tax-deductible tender for shacking at work, as opposed to those who fuck to climb up the hierarchy scheme at his or her place of Work.


Dear Omar Sy: Hoy no hubo Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Hollywood.

No offense, Kevin Heart, Öüî don’t mean to “Driss” Ewe like this, pero De arranque, la versión de intocable en Inglés del bueno (en Mulholland Dr.), hÚbiese estado mejor si Bradley Copper played the role of “Driss”. Context for Kevin Heart follows:3eb19fd4-b61f-4351-84e6-61a9fbe7b5dd

Coming up in:

BENALLA Y LOS PALMARES DE FRANCIA… just kidding. —Not really, Hold that PHONE CALL Brontis à La Préfecture, “ADN” follows.

La puerta está abierta.

please relay to the Reverend Al Sharpton,
that from the Transnational experience,
on this Side of the Atlantic,
Miss Berthrand,
we [the staff]
just witnessed a most regretAble opportunity Americans, who want to Make Trump Great Again, that there are other
Eddie Murphy’s who can pull
a “Dexter” accent, better than
the Beverly Cop could ever ring.

Why, Malcolm’s dad?

Get A RopE:0dd15440-8597-4c3a-8aba-dfed01a9cfff

Happening right now in Marsella, live:
una Artista que sí entiende
el “skit skat” en la música de Jazz…
what a difference a Coast makes.

22.30 CET

The Purple Pundit is going to show it to YOU!


VICE President, Mike Pence says that Donald Trump is Like Something Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., would look like, or someting like that in Amerikkka today.

Dear, Nicole: say, were those Monday Teal Suade Military Issued pumps that you wore during tonight’s show? Nice! They look better than that other gal’s, god damned Ruby Tuesday, chanclas.



Carpe Diem—Support your local Pussy Kats gang

We interrupt These programmings in order to prepare an Award ceremony in honor of Teeny–Tiny Cat for successfully standing his post until properly being relieved from Duty.

#SupportYourLocalGirlGang •–_¡_–• …

In the mean time, Kasie Hunt reminds Jon Meacham playing the role of “Stevie” junk-car Rattner on the MorJo show, that patent crook and intellectual property cock* blocker, “tommy” alva edison, can’t hold a Light to a crazy feller whose iconic name is floating in our Solar System as We type this most incosequential draft.

* Georges Méliès

BATTLE ROYAL with Kasie DC… we go live to The Vicinity of le Pont Neuf on the right bank of the Seine, where Catalonio Barcelonetto de Peralvillo is live with  La Chica de Montreuil, a spokeswoman for a local Franco-Venezuelan girl gang who describe themselves as 4-non-Rubias, according to La Chica, “it’s gone Daddy gone,” adding that the hormones in the air give a “good feeling” but at the same time a bitchy “ugly” vibe, “like a Blister in the Sun.”

TimeStamp: Dancing in the Streets by the Big Mama Kats in Central Siren Den time, eh!

Coming up on the programming, it’s Hand Solo timewhat? Wait! It’s HAN SOLO time, not “hand solo” time because that’s a different “movie”, eh Che? Remember that “movie” that Ewe, that Colin dude, and Colonel Matthews recorded way back at Independence Mall in Philly? Those were Da’dayz, eh, Che.

… anygüey, Cousin Joe: Ewe’r Ugly!!!

Have we’ve Got an ARMY?”… Gray: the gift that keeps on “PILING ON,” sure Pink is our favorite color, but Grey, now that color falls right into “Confessions” territory.

TimeStamp: 17h30 in Central Europe Time with an awkward “Big O’l Jet Airliner” issue in Russia with Jupiter, we might add, center stage wondering if he’s a gonna tell and ask in the same Frog Gesture to ‘little’ Putin, what a fuck, Vlad?

They do it all the Time

”Yeah, Yeah, they do it all the time.”

Yo! Che*… check this out:

Earlier in the game:

“Ni con el cura del pueblo se llevan”… Contexto desde un anexo de La Sorbonna, a continuación… no se vaya; deteniendo.

*… as in Michael Che,
not the actual “Che“…
para que ni empieces,
con tus pinches tergiversaciones;
Johnny Mill.
No soy un ‘bot’,
y todavía sigo siendo:

Context from the Cinematographic Gathering Viva Mexico (3rd edition) at a satellite institute from the prestigeous Sorbonne (IHEAL), follows…

Catalonio receives the ball,
Tries the fadeaway,
but the ball bounces off the rim.
Serrano-Prieto picks up the rock
dribbles up coURT AND

Birthday crashing on Cousin Joe… Context follows… because Cousin Joe: yes; yes we can all get along. Yes we can. —_— Prof. Jon Meachum and Cornel West movie promo follows… “Uno sólo va a quedar, —volando a la deriva”.

Oh, the humanity!

Dear, SPC. Che: please stand by…

From the producers of: The Street is My Gallery and, “Una Comedia de Enrredos”, get ready for: The Street is my Atelier. —_~ Foto por armando segovia / segoviaspixes… Cooyleft.

Frequency hop interference is forcing [the staff] to shift gears and acknowledge pressing signals that are coming in from the Mexican theater of operations on two different fronts.

Uso justo de los objetos que uno se encuentra por las calles de París. —_– Foto por: armando segovia / segoviaspixes. 2017 CopyLeft.

We ask that during this “intermission” you turn all receivers to squelch-mode, grab a cognac glass, sip-a-bit of Courvoisier; perhaps catch up on some “Rich Books for Poor Times,” and, as a starting point might we suggest, “The TASCHEN Guide to NYC?”… as usual, SPC. Che, in this “hurry up and wait” world that we live in: smoke’em if you got’em!

Dear, SPC. Che… meet “La Gotera”

142 Rue Montmartre; 75002 —_—Captura de cotidiano “L’Aurore” en el año 2017, por armando segovia… CopyLeft.

Good Day, it’s Sunday, September the 3rd of 2017.

La Gotera del Gama… fragmento. Context follows… but a for warm-up, Michael Che, know that Enrique’s french trained gendarmes are Donald Trump’s first line of defense in his Stupid “border wall”
his entire schtick is, as someone from The Who once wrote: just a put on. Come November, check to see if Cementos Chihuahua, CEMEX, or even Cementos Cruz Azul, along with Mexican ‘empresarios’ are not going to be among the ‘investors’ and ‘stake holders’ of the companies involved in the drafting of that Stupid Wall.

Today is the last day to profit from the Parisian Beaches and the first to examine Anne Sinclair’s current events observations on a not-so-funny Sunday (only) newspaper… Yo’, Che! i’ll see you downtown, where every basket is worth 3-points… ↓↓↓

Context continues to develop… Fair use of media. Link to segment follows.

Nice “granny shot,” Che, but please relay to your script writers to please stop condescending your wingman’s observations of Donald Trump’s racially bias undertones… the entire world knows that Brotha Keenan is SNL’s resident “I’ve seen the whole thing, indigent witness”.

Go ahead: AMA… Iniciales en Inglés que sirven para abreviaar cualquier pregunta que te de la gana, en preguntaar. –_- Uso justo de SNL

… i mean, it’s a nice “shout-out” for México and all, but on behalf of all Mexicans living along the border with the U.S., and because of the way that you underhanded the shout-out on your “Arizona Rally” news bit, we [the staff] can’t help but notice that you do “Mexican Shout-Outs,” in the same style that the “grandmother” of Mexican president Enrique Peña Nieto, shoots hoops…

image capture follows…

Say, Che, i don’t know if your script writers noticed, but at Dodger Stadium, that last “shout-out” that you sent to Enrique Peña Nieto (mind you) on the eve of his yearly job report, would be called a Fucking Softball… For more on that, meet me [armando segovia] at:

La Gotera del Gama… and, KORIMA my BroTha—KORIMA.

🎶 Oh say, Michael Che…

Dear, SPC* Michael Che..

So, according to Resident Young Person and, eternal basic training ‘phase one’ recruit, Pete Davidson, no one blasts the National Anthem out of the speakers of their automobile… perhaps, PVT Davidson, perhaps; however, we [the staff] are willing to bet that like Serge Gainsbourg’s take on La Marseillaise, Marvin’s rendition of the Star Spangled Banner has been responsible for one or two ‘accidental babies’ that were made in the back seat of car.

you are not listening to it in the right context, please:

Stand At Attention:

… Un minuto, por favor.

But you are correct, SPC. Che, México does deserve a bit of recognition, just not entirely for things that your script writers would have you perhaps believe and then “babble out” on your Weekend (Thursday) Update report, but rather because 12 years ago, Mexico was one the first to CROSS THE BORDER when Katrina struck New Orleans.

This time around, a dozen years later, a storm christened by U.S. meteorologist as ‘Harvey‘ has rearranged the priorities of the peoples of Southeast Texas, and once again, the people of Mexico have not shied away from lending a helping hand to their neighbors to the North, be this in the form of logistical humanitarian aid from the Mexican Army, or from a handful of bread makers that symbolically engage in a plan of action designed to feed those who lost everything, all the while showing a little support to the White, and to the Black and, to the Japanese people of The Gulf… Entonces, pues: shout-out to PVT-1 Colin Jost, for catching that demagogic nuance on a segment of the Arizona rally speech of Donald Trump.


Uso justo del Pinche Brozo… licenciado Trujilllo, dice nuestro editor-en-fuga, Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo, que por favor le comunique usted mismo [no el puto de Rafa] a su ex colaboradors La Reata, que él también está dispuesto a luchar sin la máscara de látex con ella en el asiento trasero de un Shelby-Maverick modelo 1973, siempre y cuando, el Secretario Chong este dispuesto a re-masterizar la versión censurada del Himno Nacional Mexicano por [el maestro] Dámaso Pérez Prado Prado.

… Segnoras y segnores, con ustedes:

La Reata de Brozo

Uso justo de las mujeres del licenciado Brozo para poder reciclar lo que dice el twit del personaje más feminista del doctor Víctor Trjillo, allá cuando “El Magnanero” ocupana un espacio en Televisa… Secretario Osorio Chong, ¿a poco las banderas no se ven bien cuando se usan —como dicen los franceses— de “culottes” para mujer? Díganos, sr. Secretario, ¿a poco, this Checkered Flag, no se ve bien arropando a mi Reata como si fuera uno de los NiÑos Héroes; a poco no, Secretario?

* … el la escala de salarios y rangos en el ejercito estadounidense (llámese—Yankee) el grado de SPC E-4, en una escala que va desde el E1 hasta el E9, se le llama “especialista” y tiene la misma remuneración que un Caporal, pero no el mismo nivel de liderazgo, ni de autoridad.

En San Nicolás de los Garza… USNL*

Coming Up on The Channeling Network:
Rob Schneider es un Codo,
and i know all the games you play“,
diria a lo mejor George Michael
and his sports machine.

Licenciado Brozo de Télèvisa:
Siguiendo su lógica, George Michel era gay, pero reiterando la aplicación de lo que usted dijo,  George Michael  no era  puto. Poniendo eso en practica, pues, y a lo mejor [hasta] El Perro del micrófono concurriría que dentro de las políticas de la empresa [Univision Communications Inc.] “reiteramos” es una palabra que suena algo mamalonesca en una cancha en donde siempre, lo que ha rifado ha sido la repetición; pero luego, pues, “reiteramos” [en la voz del Perro Bermúdez] de que esa es la palabra que usan los de univision…

ATTE: un fan.

"'Cause I gotta have Faith…" . Rungis, Francia—Luego de su éxito como una grapadora, y por supuesto "una zanahoria"; but not "The Biggest Douche* in The Universe," [South Park Productions] Rob Schneider regresa a El Horizonte de Monterrey con su nueva serie: El Güero y El Wüero y El Huero À l'Européen en El Obispado de La Rue Verger. | Sinopsis: En el universo de los regios, en Nuevo León [North Eastern México], Rob Schneider es un codo de cañería de aducción —un Pepe the Plumber para la industria de muelles mineraleros— para "La Raza", if you will. || Uso justo de todos los regios cotidianos y El Alumni de SNL… you're welcome, Michael Che—You are welcome.

‘Cause I gotta have Faith…” . Rungis, Francia—Luego de su éxito como una grapadora, y por supuesto “una zanahoria”; but not “The Biggest Douche* in The Universe,” [South Park Productions] Rob Schneider regresa a El Horizonte de Monterrey con su nueva serie: El Güero y El Wüero y El Huero À l’Européen en El Obispado de La Rue Verger. | Sinopsis: En el universo de los regios, en Nuevo León [North Eastern México], Rob Schneider es un codo de cañería de aducción —un Pepe the Plumber para la industria de muelles mineraleros— para “La Raza”… or something like that. || Uso justo de todos los regios cotidianos y El Alumni de SNL… you’re welcome, Michael Che—You are welcome.

… y mientras tanto
allá con El Bronco, en San Nicolás de los Garza,
sigue siendo Fin de Semana
Buenas medias noches tengan sus mercedes
por aquellos sus municipios,
aquí en Rungis acaba de dar arranque
la madrugada.

Today® is Monday, December the 26th of 2016.
Y lo único de amarillismo que usted verá a continuación, pues,
será la corbata del hipnólogo que se adjudica la recuperación de un jugador de fútbol [asociación].

El de la corbata con los colores del equipo del Coloso de Santa Ursula dice que no le va, —al América. | Uso justo de las chiripas de los interwebs y los contenidos fortuitos de Univisión, por aquello de excusar el cumplimento de las obligaciones de "hacer las cosas [como dice el hipnólogo] bien". Para más información con aquellas cosas acontecen por azar, por favor consulte un diccionario.

El de la corbata con los colores del equipo del Coloso de Santa Ursula dice que no le va al América. | Uso justo de las chiripas de los interwebs y los contenidos fortuitos de Univisión, por aquello de excusar el cumplimento de las obligaciones de “hacer las cosas [como dice el hipnólogo] bien”. Para más información con aquellas cosas que acontecen por azar, por favor consulte un diccionario.

:::Estimado Mr. Hipnólogo:::
Memo de último minuto 
TimeStamp: 10:03 hrs CET:
Le “reiteramos” lo de los penales. 3-0… pura serendipia pura, pues. ¿A poco no?

* Regalos en forma de Fuentes:

La Universidad de la Sultana de Nuevo Leon.
San Nicolás de los Garza, Nuevo León.