I don’t care what Ewe think.
This is: The ColberthRAND Report with Kat MotherFUNwhack McKinnon. Sponsored by Canned Heat, Rockey Mountain Oysters and, of course, Bradley Cooper’s Canned Oyesters.
On today’s course:
Sorry Omar, the Melting Pot is being held hostage, “and so there was only one thing left that Öüî, the staff,could do”. Find out, what it is that we could do, only on The ColberthRAND Report.
With the Martin Luther King, Jr. Federal Holiday officially closed, we now enter into the 21st day of the year with Donald Trump officially in office, and Pete
Williams Davidson (Sorry, Pete Williams) can now officially lend us his voice over to US [wabbits], as Öüî rewiew Yao and Intocable.
DEJE DE TOQUETEAR AL CORSARIO AND STEP AWAY FROM THE RAIDER, Bill Majer! If you want liquid chocolate visit my nigga Michael Che over at Michael’s Bird Cages and Beyond, he’s got scoops for you in some kind of Shack. Now, Bill, you fucking Licantropo in #Howl, tonight there’s an eclipse. Here goes an amulet for You, and EyE want EwE, motherfucker, to share the visuals with the “Shameless” William H. Macy, over at the ColberT ReporT. Needles to say, the pages are in no need of glue, so Aim High, motherfuckers.
MAI 1974 follows… BUNNY!!! Mis-en-Scene, Bunny. Hurry up doll. Frank is almost here.
Delgado del Fundillo
Los J’aime Le Carton.
En Vivo desde La Placita
CASI Esquina con Alfonso Reyes
Anyway, Bill Maher, YOU fuckers are doing it again. Y’all are HYPING the 2020 Doll House and it’s not even Christmas yet. HOW ABOUT worrying about IMPEACHMENT FIRST.
And another thing, Bill, the next time that you feel the urge to cover GENTRIFICATION, ask Robert O’Rourke, from El Chuco, please. And as you do, stroke him for your viewers and fondle him like you did with Tiny, the American Hand-Ball player this past Friday.
Now go get Stormy Daniels and apologize to her for being such a patronizing prick, always praising The Hefe’ at the Playboy Mansion, and telling your experience, much like Los Amigos de México en Francia tell theirs as they brag about their exchanges with Carlos Fuentes. My point, Werewolf, is that you praise the Playboy creator for his lifestyle, and then you feel sorry for a porn star who fucks because she likes it and because she gets legal tax-deductible tender for shacking at work, as opposed to those who fuck to climb up the hierarchy scheme at his or her place of Work.
Dear Omar Sy: Hoy no hubo Martin Luther King Jr. Day in Hollywood.
Coming up in:
UNA COMEDIA DE ENREDOS:
BENALLA Y LOS PALMARES DE FRANCIA… just kidding. —Not really, Hold that PHONE CALL Brontis à La Préfecture, “ADN” follows.
La puerta está abierta.
please relay to the Reverend Al Sharpton,
that from the Transnational experience,
on this Side of the Atlantic,
we [the staff]
just witnessed a most regretAble opportunity Americans, who want to Make Trump Great Again, that there are other
Eddie Murphy’s who can pull
a “Dexter” accent, better than
the Beverly Cop could ever ring.
Why, Malcolm’s dad?
Happening right now in Marsella, live:
una Artista que sí entiende
el “skit skat” en la música de Jazz…
what a difference a Coast makes.
The Purple Pundit is going to show it to YOU!
VICE President, Mike Pence says that Donald Trump is Like Something Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr., would look like, or someting like that in Amerikkka today.
Dear, Nicole: say, were those Monday Teal Suade Military Issued pumps that you wore during tonight’s show? Nice! They look better than that other gal’s, god damned Ruby Tuesday, chanclas.