Paris—Pont de Sully
Sammy, My Boy!
Congratulations on your recent promotion to Private First Class and for your recent PCS* move. Be advised that we [the staff] saw your most recent interaction with CWO–2* Williams during his Staff Duty Segment at the 2300 hrs. post where Cpl.* Barcelonnetto noted that you also had a chance to conduct a SitRep on the “Jekyll & Hydeiness” of our current Commander-in-Chief who, far from being worthy of one single fake tooth from General George [our first Commander-in-Chief] Washington chompers, instead we reckon that our current N° 45 is more kin to all of the madness of King George… Our first excuse to go to war.
We [the staff] learned that you transferred from that paper pushing cushy S1 unit at HuffPost HHQ* and that you’ve moved to an S3 training depôt. Hu-Ahhhh.
Support Operations; source FM 6-0 and a personal “Ticket for an ETS“.
S1: Unit dedicated for handling the administrative needs and issues of troops (personnel), pretty much manila folder handlers trained to use a an M-16/M-203 and experts at setting up inert (for training purposes only) Claymore mines. Tactical exercises usually include setting up a field tent in front of Brigade Headquarters (especially if it’s raining) or practicing how to wear a Nuclear Biological and Chemical war-suit while conducting some stressful activity such as having a bowling competition or playing baseball, in some cushy units they even incorporate a round of golf and sip ‘mimosas’ to account for the Field Task: conduct a “how to” drink from a standard issue 1-quart military canteen, trainining session.
S3: Unit dedicated for scheduling the training exercises for all line units at the battalion or brigade level, responsible among other important duties, such as, providing (live) target practice devices to line companies, and making sure that the S1 units have their ‘pretend’ Claymore mines training kit. Quite possibly, the most chilled and independent (no micro managing) post an ETS* soldier can hope for.
CWO-2: Chief Warrant Officer (pay grade level 2… Usually just referred to as ‘Chief’. Like waters swirling in Estuaries, these cats flow to and fro, and usually to the beat of their own beat. In the U.S. Army, chief warrant officers are not really Officers, in the same sense that a Lieutenant would climb thru the pay-grades or, in the same set of experiences that an Enlisted recruit would go thru on his or her way to becoming a Sergeant Major. Nope, Chief Warrant Officers are a mix of salty and fresh water environments; like Estuaries, can you dig it? CWO-5 Dan Rather, comes to mind, if you at TRMS know what we mean… CWO-2 Williams was a CWO-3 and was on his way to being promoted to a CWO-4 post, but after a helicopter incident, he was demoted to his current position, notwithstanding, and following the 2016 General Election in the United States “of” America, CWO-2 Williams earned a promotable status with the help of Staff Sergeant Nicole Wallace, who put in a good word to the Brass at MSNBC to stretch Chief Williams 1/2 hr. show to the whole 60 minutes mark.
CPL.: Corporal Rank, basically the same as a Spec-4 (specialist rank) difference being, that the CPL is one step closer to becoming a Sergeant. Corporals usually earn their stripes in the Field -or as the French say, en bivouac, while the SPC uses his book knowledge in Garrison to get out of guard duty, kitchen duty, and other entry level rite of passages in the Game of War, aka the military.
SITREP: A situation report.
PCS: Permanent CHange of Station.w
ETS: The 12 month period that precedes The End of a soldier’s time in the Regular Army… per Army regulations, this stage in anyone’s military career [EXCEPT YOUR DONALD J. TRUMP, commander-in-chief DOES NOT COUNT] is referred to as the End Term of Service.