Tag Archives: Ali Vitali — It’s Way Too Early

Accept no imitators : Sunday, February 1st

Eating their own shit to the top 🎩

“What d’Ewe mean Eye don’t believe in God?”

∴

… and Mika Brzezinski, you’ve Ho’id about Two Girls and, —it’s not one of those. Eye’s talking about two girls and a solo dance, not a SOLO 💩 CUP™ because that shit show is happening at PAM BONDI’s big new office with Lady Justice beaten and  laying on the ground.

MARCH 2026 ISSUE :

https ://www .theatlantic .com /magazine /2026/03 /pam-bondi-trump-doj-independence


Lucky 13 for 2026 on a Red Horse from the East also ride in the months of MARCH and November, all other “Friday the 13’s” are irrelevant.

Eye Ain’t Supertitious, when a black cat passes my door, or when BALDER cowboys than Mí ride along The Watchtower, fuck you Loki ; there can only be one joker 🃏.

 

And, Simone Sanders, you Bad Mama Jama, Ewe… don’t go calling someone a “cowboy” until you see him riding a horse. Off-course Simone Sanders, you can go ahead and ask Maya Rupert, she’ll tell Ewe : don’t let Ali Vitali lose the thread, which is why Öüï are up too early and to witness the Countdown To The Shutdown.

Bunny Dérangement Syndrome for Dummies 🪶🥊🐰… and in case anyone missed, IT!, according the the Rolling Stone, Peso Pluma will turn into a rock and roll bitch for Ewe, if one brings up politics into an interview.

 

Full Disclosure for the Reverend Al SharpTone:

For all Öüï knows, Hassan Emilio “ Peso Pluma” Kabande Laija and Benito Antonio “Bad Bunny” Martínez Ocasio hang out like Salvador Sánchez and Edwin Rosario ; or even Julio César Chávez and Héctor Camacho, playing bones and snorting coke.

Owning the steers.

Again, Simone Sanders, don’t go calling someone a cowboy only because his “coco” is wearing a Resistol™, especially if it’s coming out of your co-host binder… that’s right Eugene Daniels, Eye clocked yo’ass last Sunday before the lamest Super Bowl in JEERs, in JEERs!!! Thank God for that half-time show ; now it’s on to Munich.

It’s way to early for a Tecate

Sam Stein invita… Telemundo presenta:

La Faena

Your “daily” Beast, now.

 

Feliz Cumpleaños Paola…

Née:  le 31 octobre 1994 à Mexico (Ville)
Alternative : le 16 mai 2015 à Morelia, toro “Dominico” de Carranco, parrain El Dandy, témoin Javier Conde

Paloma rosa

Meanwhile in Manhattan, en Manhattan es la alternativa de Mamdani en TELEMUNDO

Arnie got his flu-shot

Thank you Ali Vitaly for getting on, —the bus.

Any 🦉 hoot, Dan… thank you for the coffee and as Eye was re-counting to you this morning… anything, and Eye means anything that The Paris Tourism Board can do, I (Armando Segovia) can do better, and as don Quijote would probably paraphrase : if it wasn’t for the memories, Eye would probably be chillin’ and living la vie en rose next to Le Beaubourg, just because.

Sin Celery,
Frank Zappa.

Arnie took his FLEW-Shot

Goooooo, Dodgers.

For context Bruce Willis, as Arnold Governator might had suggested, after the Planet Hollywood franchise went the way of say, Señor Frogs in Mazatlán (México) in the late 90’s, that Bruce was a fucking “lazy” clochard, (maybe) maybe… but Bruce was never a fucking “kindergarten cop” for the MAGA Right.

Ha-ha… Fernando would be proud, almost a shut-out.

George Parker is a journalist for The Atlantic, and he can trace his wrong turns in Baghdad to George W. Bush and Donald Rumsfeld, and yes, George Parker is a fag 🚬 

You Say You Want To “finish” A Révolution?

Across The Atlantic, “America” needs Bruce Willis, not “patriotism”. So yeah, fuck Planet Hollywood and John Wayne. Yippee-Ki-Yea motherfucker, and Merry 🌲 Christmas to you.

 

Santa Cachucha, Diane Warren!!! Camilo Cienfuegos is at the mound

Ode to l’América Mexicana.

Early Fall Season

Note 🎶 to self… deer, Diane Warren, Chris 🤠 Haines 👩‍🎤 called, he wants you to return Jeff Beck’s hairdoo back to Ronnie Wood before Joey Ramone beats up the brat.

Narration by TulAne University Professor, Car Vile. Professor Car Vile is a proud AMC Pinto owner but he wouldn’t get caught dead driving that hoopty in New Orleans because the sum-VA-beach is a Mini 🇬🇧 lover.

And, Katty Kay… Luigi Mangione and Paola Ramos walk into the Snub Hôtel Lounge

Previously, on unnecessary monolithic wokeness, it was established that Congressperson Joe Scarborough (c. post-Curt Kobain in the Garden Sound of the Till’i-cum Washington era) was the product of decades of fiscal profigalcy disguised in the clownish suit of “patriotism” and that, coincidentally fits Uncle. Sam. $oooooo well.

Alright, alright, alright…

Under the milky universe across the galaxie, tonight : It’s Neighbors.

David Wooderson; Texas 1976.

Any 🦉 hoot, Katty Kay, Luigi and Pao’ hit it off at the Snub Hôtel Lounge on la rue de Saint-Denis (100m before the Captives Church if you are walking from the Innocents Place at Châtelet*) and they take their lust next door to the Love Hôtel, where rooms are charged by-the-hour except on Sunday night because on Sunday nights students can score a UNIT until Monday morning for €50… and that, Katty Kay, that is why David Wooderson (Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused) moved to the 75001 zip code, because Wooderson gets older and the university hôtel rates stay the same.

Hoy No Hubo Jazz.

On a Love tangent, people who know, know that during her student-year in France (from the University of Louisiana) at La Sorbonne, Ali Vitali would scream off-the-top of her lungs, “it’s Way Too Early!!!” when the chambermaids used to knock on the Love Hôtel’s doors on Monday mornings announcing the end of the stay.

Long-story short Luigi Mangione and Paola Ramos inseminated a beautiful baby lesbian boy and the two Beautiful Ones named their Offspring, Oliver Haynes, after President Emmanuel Macron’s great liberal hope for France and Europe… sooooo, 🫠 fucking woke, y’all.

In A New York Minute… Una de Narco Ficción.

Any how, in local news, Les Échos de SciencesPo is fresh out at your local kiosk, or where magnetic paraphernalia of Parisian memorabilia is sold. Today’s issue features the 100 names to watch, don Pablos de Segovia is not on that list but Zoe Saldana is.