Monday, July 31st 2017
Gare de Châtelet – Les Halles
The Seine and The Forum.
Hello, we [the staff] dive head first onto a new week and hope to not, —we repeat— to not belly-flop the plunge [on the way down] as we say goodbye to the last day in Julius, in order to welcome Augustus.
Anyway, during a recent “push to host the 2024 games“, the French Olympic Committee transformed (1) a section of lthe moving liquid part of The Seine, and a tram of it’s solid Left Bank into a spectacular olympic teaser park where a mini-version of most of the sporting events, which are featured during the Summer Games, got some ‘prime’ outdoor real estate square footage, or rather, square meterage in order to set up a temporary assortment of ball courts, a floating race track that doubled as a philharmonic stage, a diving platform on the bridge (1.1) that ‘Carmela Soprano‘ made famous for all the HBO crowd [just before The Game of Thrones conquered the American Series shares] and, you wont believe this: a skateboard park… the only thing missing was a portable wave generator to surf up The Seine… anyway.
Did you know that the French invented that thing called “the” Evolution.
Yes, we didn’t know it at the time, and as a matter of fact, it came to us much in the same fashion like that time that we learnt that Frankie’s, Paul Anka rendition of “I did it my way,” was the brainchild of Radio France Nostalgie version (3) of Raphael’s interpretation of Juan Gabriel… anygüey, it was during that very early Sunday morning stroll along The Seine that we learned that the French invented —in all of their radical might— skateboarding.
Yup, motherfuckers, the sons and daughtersof Gral. Charles de Gaulle, and the nephews of Sarkozy and Asterix invented skateboarding. We shit you not!
We, however, are not sure if the Land of Cheese & Wine can claim ‘roller blading’ as well, but we can confirm that they are pretty happy and gay about that activity once the sun goes down; anygüey… de cualquier manera, what’s important here is that during our Sunday morning stroll we learned that “Skateboarding Is Not A Crime”, and that come 2020 in Japan (4), a skilled and talented bunch are going to snatch the first ever Olympic medals for that new sport, which by-the-way once upon a time (in L.A.—of all motherfucking places) was considered a crime… or some bogus rent-a-cop “get out of my mall, “shit like that.
Mean-while… “these dreams of you”
But speaking of malls and
pretty panties … swim suit sales. For the first time in over three years our resident infrastructure correspondent [at-large] Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo was able catch a ride on the moving walkways that connect lines 11 and 7 from the rest of the rails at La Gare de Châtelet – Les Halles.
As a case of long-term study, or a comparative analysis with the people who build roads in Queretaro, it took the bidding construction companies here in France just a little over the SIX years to complete “le chantier”, which (2) they had promised to finish and deliver before the 2017 election beared fruit in France; so not bad (we guess) minus a few squirts of cosmetic caulking and cable ties along the runway that still remain to be set—once that is knockedout, the project will all be done. Again, not bad, considering that the ‘frogs’ are working inside of an milennial ‘socavón’… just sayin’ Mr. Esparza; just saying.
In other news, and to tangent our way back to the Summer Games still to come, Catalonio got a rather subliminal sneak peek preview at the “tentative pictograms” featured at the Châtelet — Les Halles corridor. Below you will see some of the “alternative” competitions that Parisians will probably have in store when the Summer Olympics delegations set their Olympic Village in town:
1. Freestyle hoboing. 2. Tag team luggage snatching. 3. Missionary Position Marathon Trials. 4. Organized Grab-Ass and Synchronized Bubble Speech. 4. Free Fall Suicide. 5. Open Door Manifesting. 5. Étrangères Open-Door Policy push the door Tug-of-War.
In any case scenario, it’s been nearly 100 days (5) since En Marche and its founding father took over as “the boss” of all French military forces (both Foreign and Domestic), however all that we can note from our perimeter is that as a strategic move: ‘The Best is Yet to Come‘.
In the mean-time, August is just a few minutes away (happy birthday Dj) … and despite all of the signs that read that “
all of the roads lead to Rome…” Merdé!. Va de nuez, we meant to input that, even if all the new roads seem to lead to France —or, Paname— one thing’s for sure, during the month of August: all of the itineraries lead to some exotic spot, or at least out of the built up ruins of Ol’ Lutece, because the frogs don’t fuck around come vacation time.
So, if you want to hear what a Fat Labor Lady sounds like, you’ll have to wait until October and bathe on Selene’s moonlight as the Hunter’s rays (6) make their first cycle around… Do take advantage, ‘cus come Columbus Day, we reckon it’ll all be dark.
Ahora, para variar un poco:
Los funnies de El Reformista:
don Calderón, Paco
1. The Kayaking Mayor at the Bridge of “The Sopranos”… Via: Reuters. http ://www .reuters .com /article /us-olympics-2024-paris-idUSKBN19E1DP —_— and —_— https ://m .youtube .com /watch?v =0BgnT9SSqyc
2. Renovations and taxes well spent: https ://en .m .wikipedia .org /wiki /Gare_de_Châtelet_–_Les_Halles #Renovation
3. Clo-Clo meets Frankie and the MOB: Via, The Independent… http ://www .independent .co .uk /news /world /europe /the-mystery-of-cloclo-did-he-write-my-way-and-was-he-killed-while-changing-a-lightbulb-793985 .html
3a. Raphael… “Como yo te amo”… http ://uncyclopedia .wikia .com /wiki /Raphael _(singer)
3b. Juan Gabriel… “Hasta que te conocí”… http ://www .newyorker .com /culture /culture-desk/postscript-the-festive-genius-of-juan-gabriel-1950-2016
4. California Skate Parks and the Park of the Rising Sun: http ://californiaskateparks .com /2016 /08 /skateboarding-officially-olympic-sport-japan-2020/
5. El WaPo and En Marche: https ://www .washingtonpost .com /world /europe /nearing-100-days-in-office-macrons-true-ambitions-emerge /2017 /07 /29 /b40aba88-713a-11e7-8c17-533c52b2f014_story.html?utm_term= .945f5b8d9a88
6. The Hunter Moon: Via, “The Farmers Almanac”… https ://www .almanac .com /astronomy /moon /full
7. October 12th… El WaPo; The Knights of Columbus, and Asshole day… Via, The Washington Post: https ://www .washingtonpost .com /news /answer-sheet /wp /2015 /10/11 /why-is-columbus-day-still-a-u-s-federal-holiday /?utm_term= .3276eafabf9a