Song of the Year… y las tangentes del Santoral

November 10th, 2017

It’s Weekend Edition

We begin with our 2nd favorite Jew, Sarah Silverman, the comediēnne who doesn’t need no stinkin’ boots to kick some ass in Nashville; heck Cousin Joe, even the boys at the Weekend Update desk were “stroking” behind her, following on Sarah’s latest episode’s theme-topic … context on that segue follows, as Colin Jost and Larry Davidscoop up” the details.

She puts the phonetic part of “count” in Country, Sarah’s words, more ōr less, not ours. •—¡—•. Earlier on Wednesday this week, Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley hosted the Country and Western version of the MTV Music Awards, in a city called Nashville, Tennessee.  Branding producers of that ceremony, however, could not accomodate Sarah’s song, “Somebody Broke Her”, for this year’s competition. Sarah’s break-out song, on the Country & Western radio dials was written in collaboration with Grammy nominated composer, Lee Thomas Miller.

… but first, we begin the program by the grace of Saint Theodore (the soldier), which means, gift from God, in order to tie up some loose tangents to “il Uomo Vitruviano“, and so, on the azimuth of those proportions, we [the staff] double-over–time, to Brazile… so please, do stick around.

•—¡—•

Cuentan los que sabén, de que San Teodoro, es uno de los casos más evidentes en cuestión de aquello que los Rosicruces conocen con el mote de “desdoblamientos”; pero por la frase de ayer en el DirectMatinmierda, Se Me Olvidaba Que, el trato Directo por las Mañanas ya había terminado, ahora hay puro CNEWS MATIN; en fin, va de nuevo,… pero por La Frase Santoral del día de Ayer, Santo Teodoro se doblaba mas que pura chingada, ese cabrón a lo mejor reencarnó en la piel de un General, pero no en la de Teodoro de Stratelatos, N + O! sino más bien en la del General Emiliano Zapata.

“Si mis discursos les ofenden, cortenme pues la lengua”.
Frase de San Teodoro (soldado).
Según las escrituras del CanalPlus (el canal de la “crucecita”)… Noviembre 09, 2017 CE.

La Tangente de una Ironía Opuestamente Diametral… An introductory course on how to square the circle in The News. —¡—.  Enter DIEUDONNÉ … The closest equivalent to this motherfucker is Sam “motherfucking” Kinnison, and Sam would still trail by a long shot; of course, Kinnison screamed his vocal chords out against Christians, more specifically, against Rev. Jim Baker’s Christians, while Dieudonné’s bread and butter is earned by bashing on Israel, more specifically, of the Benjamin Netanyahu ranks.

… BROZO! Chingas a tu madre… Ay te caigo, deja me la desdoblo — TimeStamp: 15h00 CET… La Hora De Intermarket


Las Fuentes que se ven al voltear un reloj de arena son diametralmente opuestas to the sand that turned from inside of the glass.

1.

The phonetic “count” in Country, via, “I LoveYou, America”; Season 1, Episode 4. perhaps the runner-up for next year’s Emmy in the category for “best episode in a season”, but who knows, surely there are more emotive and in–your–face episodes of Sarah on the interwebs streams. Heck! i reckon that if the Jews wouldn’t have killed “baby Jesus” when he was  33 , Laughter’s Mom would be the reincarnation —in Vesica Piscis form— of “the” Saint Theòdores of antiquity.

2.

Ever wonder why “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes cheeks have a squirrel-like quality to them? It’s because the cheeks serve as a storage space compartment. In the FreeStyle Hoboing “masturbation session” competition, “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes are the perfect “scoopers” of jizz and squirt. Of course, the second part in the judging section requires the aid of a troll, preferably a long skinny one that can jerk a pump-suction broom (kind of like Canadian Curlers do) to toss the loads into the scoring Gnome’s pie hole as the competitors run is spewed on the tracks. Enter Larry David… and you, my friend, can imagine “the rest of the story.  Good day.”

It’s time for another event of our exclusive coverage of The 33rd edition of The FreeStyle Hoboing Games. In this edition, we [ the staff] descend upon Times Square’s Metro station where Colin Jost and Larry David are ready to score the most taboo of the games competition: The Masturbation Session… Los Amigos Invisibles ya están listos para animar a los espiritus participantes y a los Gnomos encargados de medir las corridas de cada uno de los y, de las participantes. After the break, our correspondent, Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo, the Sylph, will explain how each load is scored in every round.

3.

Dear, MonoAureo:

“Legacy” advertisement —strategically— attached to a bulletin board at “rue du Japon” at La Mairie du 20éme arrondissement; right in front of the Gambetta Bus (64) Station… foto por: staff.

Siguiendo con el tema de Les JoJo’s* (1)… y de las noticias que salen de los cerros del Borrégo y Camarón (allá en la Veracruz (2) de don Javier “n) :

… y bueno, ya desde noviembre del 2015 (cuando Trump lanzó su ataque en contra de los mexicanos en los EU) baticinamos que las noticias (lamentablemente) pasarían a ser otra forma ‘de entretenimiento’ ligada a la parte Circo, que [proponemos] simbióticamente está ligada al Pan nuestro de cada pinche gobierno y/o Líder del Mundo Occidental, mismo que se supone es compuesto por países libres, ¡en Rusia! por ejemplo no hace falta tanto entretenimiento ni tanto pan para que el presidente (de facto) masajeé a ‘sus’ masas para que éstas no hagan olas y lo saquén del poder…

It’s Weekend Edition, y el próximo segmento le corresponde al Maestro de “Brozo the shady clown,” the one and only: Bozo [Dr. (PhD.) One-Each; Honoris Causa —now available también en Espagnol].

AnyGüey, monos aleatorios, and with regards to your recent entry about Miguel Bose (3), we [the staff] would like to say, thank you. Especially for the part on your opinion after-sketch that covered both a Civics and History lesson; y que quizás fue también, tal vez —peut être— quién sabe, a lo mejor, en fin, ¡y vaya pues! por aquello del amor a la Filosofía.

From the collection: The Street is My Gallery… photo captured by staff  at the Pére Lachaise Bus Stop Station, next to a fruit vendor positioned under the Métro map located at the L-2 Blvd. Ménilmontant entrance.

De cualquier manera, did you know that it was the French (4) who —coincidently— invented ‘the Legacy of Anacharsis‘ (un Étrangère –que dicen las malas lenguas–fue un bárbaro renegado que nunca cambiaba su atuendo ante los griegos) who quite possibly was a precursor to ‘Freestyle hoboing a few centuries before ‘the original mentalist’ dubbed “Chuy, El Super Star” immaculately popped out onto the Nazareth scene?

… en una cosa en lo que [el staff] si estamos de acuerdo con la reciente referencia de Anacarsis en los comentarios e interpretaciones de los monitos en El MonoAureo, pues, es de que en lo que a la aplicación —pero sobre todo la ejecución— de las leyes, ante la “llamada” balanza de la justicia, pues, hemos visto que casi consistentemente suele ser relativamente proporcional, y hasta arriesgaríamos apuntar que a lo mejor se puede transponer para que [por EJEMhhh**plo] nunca sepamos si Florence Cassez era una ‘mosquita muerta’ disfrazada de turista —que trabajaba como secuestradora de menores de edad para una banda de criminales— o si ella fue en verdad una víctima de las garras del aparato televisivo de Bernardo Gómez [en Televisa], operando en conjunto con una muy ‘BanAnEra’ Procuraduría General de la República y un policía bien malote de nombre Génaro García Luna.

We’ll never know, pero lo que sí podemos apuntar, fue de que ante las conveniencias y “acuerdos estrátegicos y económicos ” del 2013 entre Enrique Peña Nieto y François Hollande (Presidentes—one each), pues, esa Fisha… perdón, esa ficha pudo romper “la telaraña (or network, perhaps???) de “la Ley”, por si fuera poco, una vez que ella ya estaba [bien asegurada con su futuro] en Francia, ella pudo por lo menos jugar (o más bien hacer) el papel por 15 minutos de la Juana de Arco, con alfombra roja y toda la cosa. Irónicamente, esa señora hoy se dedica a jugar el rol de SJW (guerrera justiciera social, por sus siglas en Reddit .com)… actuando como períodista y rodando documentales, o algo así. En fin, Javier Sicilia, ¿qué se le va a hacer?… lo que nos recuerda: ¿sabía usted de que fueron —precisamente— los franceses los que inventarón “El Saber Hacer”?

Foto (algo) Gris del nicho en la parte que ∴  Mira al Oriente-sur ∴  en el monumento de la glorieta Casimir Périer, casí esquina con ∴ La Díagonal Acacias ∴  y “El Morrison Hôtel” en el cementerio Pére Lachaise. —_— La fachada, ∴ por su Orientación∴  recibe los primeros rayos de ∴ El Sol∴  y está dedicada a la Dama llamada “Justicia”. —_— Foto (estratégicamente) Gris de “la justicia” por: Armando Segovia / segoviaspixes…. Did you know that Monsieur Périer was a founding member of the Bank of France? Fact that doesn’t prove, but certainly  reaffirms the Ol’ Adage: S/He who has the Gold makes the rules (dit) le loi.

1. http ://www .latimes .com /sports /sportsnow /la-sp-2028-olympics-deal-20170731-story .html —_— “Under normal circumstances,” es decir, when the Jeux Olympics are slotted to take place in a Developing Country, como fue el caso en Brasil, the International Olympic Commitee (IOC) WOULD NEVER, repetimos: NUNCA ACEPTARIAN, that a $180-millon (U.S) “advance immediately” be given to a future Olympic host city, and especially as a kind gesture in order to distribute, and/or invest those monies in civic and sport related activities (youth sport programs) menciona El LaLa Times… let alone, salivate over an additional “$487.6 million contingency,” or money in the bank that according to the news release will be cashed once the 2028 Summer Games conclude, this ‘golden parachute’ will be used “to pay for overruns such as the costs that have plagued recent games,” or something like that, states The L.A. Times. Notice how the wording about the plague in recent games victimizes “the games” and not the developing (and usually corrupt) countries that must pay overrun construction costs for the bricks and mortar costs of the venues and the villages (infrastructure) that usually accomodates the athletes.

However, we [the staff] propose that both the 2024 and the 2028 Olympic Games are not normal circumstances, es decir, both of these IOC engagements qualify under the banner of “Convoy Exceptionnelle, and since special privileges and/or monies are being allotted IN ADVANCE to at least one of the future Olympic Games host cities, we [in the staff] thought that it would be appropriate to award the much coveted “Distinguished Duo Denominator” of the Summer Games initials (in French) to The City of Light also in Advance, and not wait until the opening ceremony at Stade de France… así que, apreciado MonoAureo, hence the double JO (Jeux Olympiques) to the introductory quote… of Les JoJo’s

De cualquier manera, lo bueno de este blog: es de que ni el MonoAureo, ni el Comité de los JoJo’s en París— ni mi amigo Gustavo, mucho menos mi pana, ‘el gran. Alejandro’ lo leen; ¡Carolina!!! esa canija me advirtió que ella no LEYeh** ni madres.

** La hache es muda.

2. https ://monoaureo .com /2017 /07 /27 /nuevo-sistema-penal/

3. https ://monoaureo .com /2017 /08 /02 /con-dedicatoria/

Karma-Kareoke_con—Karime: y … “Mesa, mesa—Mesa’L—que más aplauda—Le mando—Le mando a’La niña; y como dice esa canción: ¡Arriba Los Tiburones! —_— Uso justo del ya muy extendido Reto Blog, en MonoAureo . com

4. The Voyage: https ://en .m .wikipedia .org /wiki /Jean-Jacques _Barthélemy #Works

… Al regresar, los deportes:

context follows…

“Dear” Los Angeles Times…

Wednesday, August 2nd 2017
Passage de la Canopée
Niveau 0 — Le Forum Les Halles
TimeStamp: 1500 hrs… CET

Belle de Jour (1967) and Direct Matin (April 14th, 2015*) …Context follows: Sarkozy’s Republicans were still under the banner of the UMP, and CNEWS front cover banner was called Direct Matin.

Hindsight, some [in the staff] might say, is a rearview mirror that serves as an instant replay to deconstruct that bug experience that you might have had, as you encountered, —face first— a speeding windshield.

Ladies and Gent’s…  today’s Le Parisiene (front cover):

¿Podrá aguantar hasta el final?. Sepa la verg…. lo único que se puede esperar es de que para que el Orangina Man pueda continuar en el poder, ToDo su equipo seguirá rompiendo la Ley… Why? You ask: par-ce-que!!!

Niveau –3 (Berger)… at the Forum… TimeStamp: 0300 hours, CET.

… given the scope of the Olympic Commitee’s announcement; this one is dedicated to the L.A. Times Editorial Board: FUCK YOU, and your “objective reporting,” save-facing “EMERGING DETAILS” about how the City of Angels just could not compete for the 2024 Summer Olympics against the City of Lights, be honest. Below are just three alternative causes that are closest to home, as to explaining your “face-saving” Olympic reporting and the reasons why Mme. Hidalgo (the Parisian mayor) now has a legacy under her belt…

  1. The LACK of efficient ease of PUBLIC Transportation.
  2. The Shoot first— ask questions later Law Enforcement (red-neck / good ol’boys) tactics.
  3. And of course, Donald Trump’s idiotic Customs and Immigration populist approach to National Security.

CONTEXT FOLLOWS. In the mean-time know that your scoop, was 24hrs behind our [pictographic] Olympic Awareness Intervention.


Support and references:

*  April 14, 2015… flashback a una mañana directa, de la Casa de Canal (Plus)

What are the odds that during the staff’s “free style hoboing” live training exercise —they— would come across a two-year old news peddling archive, announcing that Paris, was officially in the race for the Olympics in 2024, eh? —_— Foto de fondo es del poster de un film de Luis Buñuel; Belle de Jour, which happens to be the story of woman, who got her kicks by transforming into a sadomasochistic prostitute during ‘regular working hours’ (or something like that) and once the early evening hours began to set, she’d return to the arms of his loving life partner (or some civil arrangement like that)… So what are the odds, dear friends, that we [the staff] would find such headlines on the (re) opening day of one of our favorite Buñuel’s classics? For all of its synchronicity; life is certainly stranger than fiction.

** Rétospective: Luis Buñel. Vía: Las pantallas de París:  http ://www .lesecransdeparis .fr /portail /article /25287/retrospective-luis-bunuel

Context will continue to develop. Check your local Canal+ listings.

Skateboarding and The Missionary

context follows… yet, still fuckers: The Street Is My Gallery.

Monday, July 31st 2017
Gare de Châtelet – Les Halles

Conveying between

The Seine and The Forum.

Carmella Soprano meets Paris… context and credits follow.

Hello, we [the staff] dive head first onto a new week and hope to not, —we repeat— to not belly-flop the plunge [on the way down] as we say goodbye to the last day in Julius, in order to welcome Augustus.

Anyway, during a recent “push to host the 2024 games“, the French Olympic Committee transformed (1) a section of lthe moving liquid part of The Seine, and a tram of it’s solid Left Bank into a spectacular olympic teaser park where a mini-version of most of the sporting events, which are featured during the Summer Games, got some ‘prime’ outdoor real estate square footage, or rather, square meterage in order to set up a temporary assortment of ball courts, a floating race track that doubled as a philharmonic stage, a diving platform on the bridge (1.1) that ‘Carmela Soprano‘ made famous for all the HBO crowd [just before The Game of Thrones conquered the American Series shares] and, you wont believe this: a skateboard park… the only thing missing was a portable wave generator to surf up The Seine… anyway.

context from the Plant Garden follows.,.

Did you know that the French invented that thing called “the” Evolution.

Strategically placed image fragment is courtesy of El WaPo and some guy at the AFP (via) Getty Images named Etienne Laurent.

Yes, we didn’t know it at the time, and as a matter of fact, it came to us much in the same fashion like that time that we learnt that Frankie’s, Paul Anka rendition of “I did it my way,” was the brainchild of Radio France Nostalgie version (3) of Raphael’s interpretation of Juan Gabrielanygüey, it was during that very early Sunday morning stroll along The Seine that we learned that the French invented —in all of their radical might— skateboarding.

Yup, motherfuckers, the sons and daughtersof Gral. Charles de Gaulle, and the nephews of Sarkozy and Asterix invented skateboarding. We shit you not!

We, however, are not sure if the Land of Cheese & Wine can claim ‘roller blading’ as well, but we can confirm that they are pretty happy and gay about that activity once the sun goes down; anygüey… de cualquier manera, what’s important here is that during our Sunday morning stroll we learned that “Skateboarding Is Not A Crime”, and that come 2020 in Japan (4), a skilled and talented bunch are going to snatch the first ever Olympic medals for that new sport, which by-the-way once upon a time (in L.A.—of all motherfucking places) was considered a crime… or some bogus rent-a-cop “get out of my mall, “shit like that.

Mean-while… “these dreams of you”

But speaking of malls and pretty panties … swim suit sales. For the first time in over three years our resident infrastructure correspondent [at-large] Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo was able catch a ride on the moving walkways that connect lines 11 and 7 from the rest of the rails at La Gare de Châtelet – Les Halles.

As a case of long-term study, or a comparative analysis with the people who build roads in Queretaro, it took the bidding construction companies here in France just a little over the SIX years to complete “le chantier”, which (2) they had promised to finish and deliver before the 2017 election beared fruit in France; so not bad (we guess) minus a few squirts of cosmetic caulking and cable ties along the runway that still remain to be set—once that is knockedout, the project will all be done. Again,  not bad, considering that the ‘frogs’ are working inside of an milennial ‘socavón’… just sayin’ Mr. Esparza; just saying.

In other news, and to tangent our way back to the Summer Games still to come, Catalonio got a rather subliminal sneak peek preview at the “tentative pictograms” featured at  the Châtelet — Les Halles corridor. Below you will see some of the “alternative” competitions that Parisians will probably have in store when the Summer Olympics delegations set their Olympic Village in town:


1. Freestyle hoboing. 2. Tag team luggage snatching. 3. Missionary Position Marathon Trials. 4. Organized Grab-Ass and Synchronized Bubble Speech. 4. Free Fall Suicide. 5. Open Door Manifesting. 5. Étrangères Open-Door Policy push the door Tug-of-War.

In any case scenario, it’s been nearly 100 days (5) since En Marche and its founding father took over as “the boss” of all French military forces (both Foreign and Domestic), however all that we can note from our perimeter is that as a strategic move: ‘The Best is Yet to Come‘.

Text fragment courtesy of El WaPo, and News Flash reporter James —The flash— McAuley… The news fragment is Fair Use of Media and it is being placed here in order to complement EM’s intentions for the  “Dawning of the Age of  Aquarius,”  and to remind the Tea-Bagging “Don’t Thread on Me” crowd, that your precious “Amo’rica” is no longer the leader of Western Values, except of course: Western style rodeo clowns, because that’s the only Western imagery that the American electorate evokes in the eyes of Occidental democracies… Do keep that thought, because in the next entry Paco Calderón has a rather particular scope on them kind of “funnies”.

In the mean-time, August is just a few minutes away (happy birthday Dj) … and despite all of the signs that read that “all of the roads lead to Rome…” Merdé!. Va de nuez, we meant to input that, even if all the new roads seem to lead to France —or, Paname— one thing’s for sure, during the month of August: all of the itineraries lead to some exotic spot, or at least out of the built up ruins of Ol’ Lutece, because  the frogs don’t fuck around come vacation time.

The tail-end of the “funnies,” as viewed by “El Reformista” don Calderón, Paco —one_Each—… context follows. Uso justo del MonoAureo; y de otros medios —oficialistas también.

So, if you want to hear what a Fat Labor Lady sounds like, you’ll have to wait until October and bathe on Selene’s moonlight as the Hunter’s rays (6) make their first cycle around… Do take advantage, ‘cus come Columbus Day, we reckon it’ll all be dark.


Ahora, para variar un poco:

Los funnies de El Reformista:
don Calderón, Paco
one_Each—

Fair use of a fragment of all MonoAureo . com updates, and of course; de los moneros del cotidiano mexicano Reforma.   Via: https ://monoaureo .com /2017 /07 /30 /westeros-en-cueros/

1. The Kayaking Mayor at the Bridge of “The Sopranos”… Via: Reuters. http ://www .reuters .com /article /us-olympics-2024-paris-idUSKBN19E1DP —_— and —_— https ://m .youtube .com /watch?v =0BgnT9SSqyc

2. Renovations and taxes well spent: https ://en .m .wikipedia .org /wiki /Gare_de_Châtelet_–_Les_Halles #Renovation

3. Clo-Clo meets Frankie and the MOB: Via, The Independent… http ://www .independent .co .uk /news /world /europe /the-mystery-of-cloclo-did-he-write-my-way-and-was-he-killed-while-changing-a-lightbulb-793985 .html

3a. Raphael… “Como yo te amo”… http ://uncyclopedia .wikia .com /wiki /Raphael _(singer)

Si conduce, por el amor de la Virgen de La Macarena y de San Fermín, se lo suplicamos… no le haga al “divo” y absténgase de cantar como Raphael… “Sobre Aviso No Hay Engaño”: esto es un uso justo de todos los medios.

3b. Juan Gabriel… “Hasta que te conocí”… http ://www .newyorker .com /culture /culture-desk/postscript-the-festive-genius-of-juan-gabriel-1950-2016

… de la colección: La Calle es Mi Galería. Foto No. 909; capturada en la fachada de un superette francés enfrente del Museo de Las Minas en los Jardines de Luxemburgo, 75006 — París… Dibujo por el artista que firmó su marca en el muro;  foto por: segoviaspixes / armando segovia. —_— CreativeCommons and all that good stuff; ShareAlike and CopyLeft… Besos ;… )

4. California Skate Parks and the Park of the Rising Sun: http ://californiaskateparks .com /2016 /08 /skateboarding-officially-olympic-sport-japan-2020/

5. El WaPo and En Marche: https ://www .washingtonpost .com /world /europe /nearing-100-days-in-office-macrons-true-ambitions-emerge /2017 /07 /29 /b40aba88-713a-11e7-8c17-533c52b2f014_story.html?utm_term= .945f5b8d9a88

6. The Hunter Moon: Via, “The Farmers Almanac”… https ://www .almanac .com /astronomy /moon /full

7. October 12th… El WaPo; The Knights of Columbus, and Asshole day… Via, The Washington Post: https ://www .washingtonpost .com /news /answer-sheet /wp /2015 /10/11 /why-is-columbus-day-still-a-u-s-federal-holiday /?utm_term= .3276eafabf9a

Special El Wapo Daily Double Edition… sources follow: https ://www .washingtonpost .com /news /answer-sheet /wp /2015 /10 /11 /why-is-columbus-day-still-a-u-s-federal-holiday /?utm_term= .e03a233c9475