Hello, fortunate son, for the record, your father was the American president who got all giddy at Bastille Day. Your father was the one who acted like a little aristocratic boy visiting Disneyland for the first time.

Your father, señor infante, looked more like a Mexican president eating a piece of Cake inside Versailles. And don’t get me started with Buckingham Palace, mi querido Eric the Prince, because your “colega”, PRINCE Andrew, is grounded and he can’t come out to play.

Zat you Primera Dama?
Or is D.A.T. the pale light of your sister*
the loon?

So let’s instead, sir, listen to your step-mom, who is already wearing a Combat-Catwalk Vietnam era Army Green dress jacket and matching police woman dress, what a strongman housewife… a nurse dress from a M.A.S.H. Unit would have looked better on FLOTUS.