And now… The Rest of The Story with Paul Harvey.
“If Eye were the Devil”
in the voice of Brian Williams
Calls from the Nether Regions of Ireland, and the Rosbif’s sector of Liverpool prompted the Warrenton police to arrest nephew Cody for bragging online about his store-licking escapades. Nephew Cody, of the Pfister clan in the St. Louis Metropolitan “statistical” Area whose city motto is “A City For All Seasons” lived up to that moniker after nephew Cody answered a D.A.R.E. from the president of them united states of america, after Donald John Trump declared on the World Stage that the White House press briefing room is, that KOI Fish supplements are a cure (like té de Tila is for the president of Mexico) for the Current COVID–19 pandemic.
https ://riverfronttimes .com /newsblog/2020/03/24 /missouri-walmart-coronavirus-licker-charged-with-terrorist-threat
In related Make America Grim Again news and, with no pun intended here, because as the MISERY poster behind Rob Reiner stated on this weekend edition of AM Joy: WE REPORT THE BLACK HUMOR NEWS AND MAX BROOKS DECIDES IF HE LAUGHS.
Bad news travel fast, but pandemics travel at the speed of light. Up north, in The great state of Wisconsin a novel way of protest against the “unfair and unbalanced” attacks against “The” donald on the Just The Facts Ma’am News Networks is hitting supermarket surfaces. Sources close to Rocky Raccoon, reporting from The Great State of Minnesota relay that the protester, an unidentified FOX News surface–licker might be the one responsible for infecting sensible Mid–Westerners with the COVID–19 virus.
https ://www .newsweek .com /wisconsin-woman-licks-grocery-store-freezer-handle-protest-coronavirus-1493354
The surface–licker, “a 53 year old Marshfield woman” stated that although she had never used “this method of protest” before, she was a pro at bra-burning in the Mid–West when she used to protest the Bush era wars with a Ho named Magill, —WHO called herself Lil—, but everyone Knew her as Nancy.