DEAR Cousin Joe:
Please give our regards to Mr. Kryl, Jeremy (one-each) at The Daily Beast. Way to not —we repeat— to not bury the lead on his courageous reporting on torture and mayhem inside a prison in paradise*, Mr. Kyrl certainly is a ‘buen dude’ for getting that ‘bad hombre’ Chimino of “Los Rojos” to summarize what The Police, in the voice of Gordo’ Sullivan, were trying to explain to the MTV crowd back in the day when Donald Trump was getting all that ‘Money for nothing’, and President Ronald Reagan was pardoning, exonerating, and obstructing justice in favor of CIA sponsored terrorism south of the San Clemente border:
Anygüey, Cousin Joe, because we [the staff] feel like You and the PeaCock crew know us better than we do ourselves, we would like to touch base on how some of these “hard cases,” as Mr. Kyrl at The Daily Beast likes to tag them, they do seem to usually associate themselves with some kind of color scheme, eh.
This love for painting their persona is not restricted to bad guys on the wrong side of the law, but we [the staff] will cover that in two or three lines; in the mean-time, here’s a short list of forajidos who coated their brand with some kind of hue:
Take for instance, Clear Channel Communication’s favorite billboard poster child and, probably it’s most profitable temporary source of Federal Government Advertisement Revenue: JuanJo Esparragoza Moreno from the Sinaloa Cartel, a.k.a. El Azul; or, in another realm we have this fellow, cocaine kingpin Roberto “R”, the criminal with the shortest last name in recorded history, a.k.a. El Colorado; or, fabled train robber José “El Amarillo,” whom the law never caught (or properly apprehended) so we are left to wonder what his last name was, however; we do have a hint of where José hails from thanks to the legendary ballad of “Los Dos Amigos,” from which inquisitive ‘cantina’ goers everywhere can probably deduce that José was riding his horse due West from the Colonial mining town of Mapimí and he probably had some inside information on the shipments
that headed East that were making their way (from the East) towards the Sierra Madre at …. wait for it, Rachel…wait… are You Ready Raquel?… at Junction Bermejillo; go ahead, debunk that function of a riddle, éh.
… and now, a special edition Digression.
Starring the memory of Chucho Salinas, as José, and the purgatory waiting room soul of Héctor Lechuga, as Martín:
NARRATOR [must be read in the Omnipresent voice of Mel Brooks]:
Cousin Joe, you probably don’t know this, but your train robbing ‘tocayo’, José, he got his nickname for what the good people of San José de las Panochas claim was a clear case of chronic jaundice, which apparently colored the skin of José throughout his lifetime.
Now, according to our source (inside of the lyrics of the legendary ballad) his partner in crime, Martín, would taunt José every time before a robbery was getting ready to go down. Martín would tease José specifically on catching a case of the butterflies and turning all kinds of yellow, implying that José was a yellow-belly robber, or that José was about to coward his way out of the hit in progress:
What’s the matter Pepito?
Want some Malox for that tummy tickle?
I see that your lighter shade of the canary is acting up on you, again?
What’s the matter? Butterfly season again?
To what our hero, José or Pepe (short for José in Spanish) would reply:
Go fuck yourself, Martín. Do you want me to go and get you a doctor’s letter?
I Happen To Have Jaundice! You motherfucker, and I am not the one who took off running, last week —tonight— at the market when the fucking federales showed up.
You buddy fucker you… now pass me that fucking dynamite, and as soon as this hit is over, you little closeted porfirista, i’m riding ‘El Jovero’ back to camp.
… But moving on, those were only three examples of how some outlaws, either by choice, or by buddy bullying, end up being identified with a color as their alias.
But what about the darkest figures in recent history on the so-called “good side” of the law? What about those sinister operatives who can only be boxed and tagged as the “political police” elements who are capable of coming up with the worst unimaginable methods of “legal” torture, like say, sexually violating infants, toddlers and even babies in the presence of their parents; or guiding a rat into the birth-giving orifice of a suspect’s wife in order to get a targeted citizen (usually an innocent person) into signing a confession for the good of the order, as it is often said, in military jargon.
The man in this ⇑ picture ⇑ [we argue] is the Mexican version of military thug Heydrich in his early days at the Nazi Party. We [the staff] believe that Miguel Nazar Haro, like Torquemada, ‘the’ patron saint of El Yunque, the Opus Dei, and quite possibly Vicente Fox , all have a special place, as Gordo’ Sullivan sang on the last track of the Synchronicity album, “in history’s Great Dark Hall of fame”.
This, however, is not —we repeat— it is not an invocation of “Godwin’s law“. We are simply saying that if there is actually a place called ‘The Titty Twister Lounge and Cantina’ these two (Herr Heydrich and Señor Nazar Haro) are probably sitting at the same table drinking Richie Gecko’s (Quentin Tarantino) piss at the bar.
The web address included on Nazar Haro’s photo capture cutline will direct the readers who never visit this blog, to a letter that Gerardo Pelaéz Ramos wrote to the grandchildren of their secret police, grandfather thug.
Pelaéz Ramos, goes on to claim in that letter that at the tender age of six he was tortured by Gustavo Díaz Ordaz and Luis Echeverría Álvarez personal political attack operator,: Nazar Haro.
In that same letter, Cousin Joe, Pelaéz Ramos makes a very disturbing claim about your favorite Mexican media folkloric crazy uncle. Pelaéz Ramos claims that Vicente Fox Quezada, was actually looking into reinstating Nazar Haro into his political police.
Thank God, Cousin Joe, that the accusations of Pelaéz Ramos never materialized; which brings us back to this entry’s dangling tangent, the one about how the criminally inclined, on both sides of the law, command a place in the color wheel scheme.
And oh —BTW,— cousin Joe, you probably are not aware of this—but we [the staff] are willing to bet that señor Chente is, just ask him about the secret police brigade that Nazar Haro assembled and baptized as “la brigada blanca”… further south.
2. Peláez, R. G. Vía: http ://www .rebelion .org/noticia.php?id=144199
3. “Just another” L.A. Times Blog… move along, http ://latimesblogs .latimes .com /world_now/2012/01/notorious-figure-from-mexicos-dirty-war-dies .html
Draft1… Draft2… Final Draft: Editors, please correct for any dangling participles and buried leads in this blog.