November 10th, 2017

It’s Weekend Edition…

We begin with our 2nd favorite Jew, Sarah Silverman, the comediēnne who doesn’t need no stinkin’ boots to kick some ass in Nashville; heck Cousin Joe, even the boys at the Weekend Update desk were “stroking” behind her, following on Sarah’s latest episode’s theme-topic … context on that segue follows, as Colin Jost and Larry David “scoop up” the details.

She puts the phonetic part of “count” in Country, Sarah’s words, more ōr less, not ours. •—¡—•. Earlier on Wednesday this week, Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley hosted the Country and Western version of the MTV Music Awards, in a city called Nashville, Tennessee.  Branding producers of that ceremony, however, could not accomodate Sarah’s song, “Somebody Broke Her”, for this year’s competition. Sarah’s break-out song, on the Country & Western radio dials was written in collaboration with Grammy nominated composer, Lee Thomas Miller.

… but first, we begin the program by the grace of Saint Theodore (the soldier), which means, gift from God, in order to tie up some loose tangents to “il Uomo Vitruviano“, and so, on the azimuth of those proportions, we [the staff] double-over–time, to Brazile… so please, do stick around.

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Cuentan los que sabén, de que San Teodoro, es uno de los casos más evidentes en cuestión de aquello que los Rosicruces conocen con el mote de “desdoblamientos”; pero por la frase de ayer en el DirectMatin… mierda, Se Me Olvidaba Que, el trato Directo por las Mañanas ya había terminado, ahora hay puro CNEWS MATIN; en fin, va de nuevo,… pero por La Frase Santoral del día de Ayer, Santo Teodoro se doblaba mas que pura chingada, ese cabrón a lo mejor reencarnó en la piel de un General, pero no en la de Teodoro de Stratelatos, N + O! sino más bien en la del General Emiliano Zapata.

“Si mis discursos les ofenden, cortenme pues la lengua”.
Frase de San Teodoro (soldado).
Según las escrituras del CanalPlus (el canal de la “crucecita”)… Noviembre 09, 2017 CE.

La Tangente de una Ironía Opuestamente Diametral… An introductory course on how to square the circle in The News. —¡—.  Enter DIEUDONNÉ … The closest equivalent to this motherfucker is Sam “motherfucking” Kinnison, and Sam would still trail by a long shot; of course, Kinnison screamed his vocal chords out against Christians, more specifically, against Rev. Jim Baker’s Christians, while Dieudonné’s bread and butter is earned by bashing on Israel, more specifically, of the Benjamin Netanyahu ranks.

… BROZO! Chingas a tu madre… Ay te caigo, deja me la desdoblo — TimeStamp: 15h00 CET… La Hora De Intermarket

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Las Fuentes que se ven al voltear un reloj de arena son diametralmente opuestas to the sand that turned from inside of the glass.

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The phonetic “count” in Country, via, “I LoveYou, America”; Season 1, Episode 4. perhaps the runner-up for next year’s Emmy in the category for “best episode in a season”, but who knows, surely there are more emotive and in–your–face episodes of Sarah on the interwebs streams. Heck! i reckon that if the Jews wouldn’t have killed “baby Jesus” when he was ∴ 33 ∴, Laughter’s Mom would be the reincarnation —in Vesica Piscis form— of “the” Saint Theòdores of antiquity.

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Ever wonder why “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes cheeks have a squirrel-like quality to them? It’s because the cheeks serve as a storage space compartment. In the FreeStyle Hoboing “masturbation session” competition, “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes are the perfect “scoopers” of jizz and squirt. Of course, the second part in the judging section requires the aid of a troll, preferably a long skinny one that can jerk a pump-suction broom (kind of like Canadian Curlers do) to toss the loads into the scoring Gnome’s pie hole as the competitors run is spewed on the tracks. Enter Larry David… and you, my friend, can imagine “the rest of the story.  Good day.”

It’s time for another event of our exclusive coverage of The 33rd edition of The FreeStyle Hoboing Games. In this edition, we [ the staff] descend upon Times Square’s Metro station where Colin Jost and Larry David are ready to score the most taboo of the games competition: The Masturbation Session… Los Amigos Invisibles ya están listos para animar a los espiritus participantes y a los Gnomos encargados de medir las corridas de cada uno de los y, de las participantes. After the break, our correspondent, Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo, the Sylph, will explain how each load is scored in every round.

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