Sgt. García: llévale mi canto — Demasiado Corazon (sin acento)

El Fondo:

Right now at the Parade field (yes the very same one where Teenie Tiny Cat is being celebrated for properly standing his post until properly being relieved) is animated by an outfit of “Cubanos Postizos” and Don Quijote who are dancing with Demasiado Corazon (sin acento).

Private Property de La Mancha.

The following must be read in a
Brian Williams voice

Brian Williams:

Well plug a 9Volt up my ass, strap me to an Abrams Main Battle Tank and call me “aRTooDito,” last weekend Sergeant First Class Craighton “oddball” Australius III and the remaining misfits from B Company from the 3rd Brigade 321 Armor Division successfully engaged and destroyed an enemy squad just ouside of the Eastern perimeter Front, where all is quiet now.

It wasn’t an easy skirmish by any means and as a priviledged witness I can bring back the testimony of the loss of the legendary tank crew of SFC Don “wardaddy” Collier, who was guarding the Eastern perimeter Front just as last week’s portion of the parade was welcoming Sarah Chayes from the Afghan front, and who at the time, was scheduled to deliver a speech about corruption and graft by chicken hawks who’ve never set foot on the battle front. The “lonesome” tank crew known as “Fury” was hit right in the ass by an enemy RPG team just as SFC “oddball’s” track was clearing a grassy knoll; needless to describe you can imagine the volley of coaxial M240 and M2 .50 caliber machine gun rounds that (literally) shread the entire enemy RPG team to a pulp.

TimeStamp: The Year of The Cat… “Aprés l’Amour” in night and day à Paris —Corazon… because “the ARmy” keeps rolling along.

…she was last seen just ouside of Saint Sulpice (75006) under the poets canvas marché speeding on a red muscle car and heading Westbound from Paris towards Le Mans in La Sarthe.

Stick around because coming up on the programming, John Heilemann gets all “straightforward and candid” in “Real Time” and gives us [the staff] a SitRep on Sgt. García’s progress in finding the trail of « Lightning McQeen ».

… TimeStamp: 0600 hours in CET.

Song of the Year… y las tangentes del Santoral

November 10th, 2017

It’s Weekend Edition

We begin with our 2nd favorite Jew, Sarah Silverman, the comediēnne who doesn’t need no stinkin’ boots to kick some ass in Nashville; heck Cousin Joe, even the boys at the Weekend Update desk were “stroking” behind her, following on Sarah’s latest episode’s theme-topic … context on that segue follows, as Colin Jost and Larry Davidscoop up” the details.

She puts the phonetic part of “count” in Country, Sarah’s words, more ōr less, not ours. •—¡—•. Earlier on Wednesday this week, Carrie Underwood and Brad Paisley hosted the Country and Western version of the MTV Music Awards, in a city called Nashville, Tennessee.  Branding producers of that ceremony, however, could not accomodate Sarah’s song, “Somebody Broke Her”, for this year’s competition. Sarah’s break-out song, on the Country & Western radio dials was written in collaboration with Grammy nominated composer, Lee Thomas Miller.

… but first, we begin the program by the grace of Saint Theodore (the soldier), which means, gift from God, in order to tie up some loose tangents to “il Uomo Vitruviano“, and so, on the azimuth of those proportions, we [the staff] double-over–time, to Brazile… so please, do stick around.


Cuentan los que sabén, de que San Teodoro, es uno de los casos más evidentes en cuestión de aquello que los Rosicruces conocen con el mote de “desdoblamientos”; pero por la frase de ayer en el DirectMatinmierda, Se Me Olvidaba Que, el trato Directo por las Mañanas ya había terminado, ahora hay puro CNEWS MATIN; en fin, va de nuevo,… pero por La Frase Santoral del día de Ayer, Santo Teodoro se doblaba mas que pura chingada, ese cabrón a lo mejor reencarnó en la piel de un General, pero no en la de Teodoro de Stratelatos, N + O! sino más bien en la del General Emiliano Zapata.

“Si mis discursos les ofenden, cortenme pues la lengua”.
Frase de San Teodoro (soldado).
Según las escrituras del CanalPlus (el canal de la “crucecita”)… Noviembre 09, 2017 CE.

La Tangente de una Ironía Opuestamente Diametral… An introductory course on how to square the circle in The News. —¡—.  Enter DIEUDONNÉ … The closest equivalent to this motherfucker is Sam “motherfucking” Kinnison, and Sam would still trail by a long shot; of course, Kinnison screamed his vocal chords out against Christians, more specifically, against Rev. Jim Baker’s Christians, while Dieudonné’s bread and butter is earned by bashing on Israel, more specifically, of the Benjamin Netanyahu ranks.

… BROZO! Chingas a tu madre… Ay te caigo, deja me la desdoblo — TimeStamp: 15h00 CET… La Hora De Intermarket

Las Fuentes que se ven al voltear un reloj de arena son diametralmente opuestas to the sand that turned from inside of the glass.


The phonetic “count” in Country, via, “I LoveYou, America”; Season 1, Episode 4. perhaps the runner-up for next year’s Emmy in the category for “best episode in a season”, but who knows, surely there are more emotive and in–your–face episodes of Sarah on the interwebs streams. Heck! i reckon that if the Jews wouldn’t have killed “baby Jesus” when he was  33 , Laughter’s Mom would be the reincarnation —in Vesica Piscis form— of “the” Saint Theòdores of antiquity.


Ever wonder why “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes cheeks have a squirrel-like quality to them? It’s because the cheeks serve as a storage space compartment. In the FreeStyle Hoboing “masturbation session” competition, “Bountiful Snow” Gnomes are the perfect “scoopers” of jizz and squirt. Of course, the second part in the judging section requires the aid of a troll, preferably a long skinny one that can jerk a pump-suction broom (kind of like Canadian Curlers do) to toss the loads into the scoring Gnome’s pie hole as the competitors run is spewed on the tracks. Enter Larry David… and you, my friend, can imagine “the rest of the story.  Good day.”

It’s time for another event of our exclusive coverage of The 33rd edition of The FreeStyle Hoboing Games. In this edition, we [ the staff] descend upon Times Square’s Metro station where Colin Jost and Larry David are ready to score the most taboo of the games competition: The Masturbation Session… Los Amigos Invisibles ya están listos para animar a los espiritus participantes y a los Gnomos encargados de medir las corridas de cada uno de los y, de las participantes. After the break, our correspondent, Catalonio Barcelonnetto de Peralvillo, the Sylph, will explain how each load is scored in every round.