The following must be read in a Brian Williams voice

Brian Williams:
— We are experiencing Technical difficulties, please stand by for the SitRep and keep your squelch on.

TimeStamp: 25 minutes after the 11th hour… in Eastern Standard Time, right know the MorJo show is in it’s second hour and we have not received word if Steve Rattner got to roll over that joint to John Heilemann or if the Democratic Party financier continued to claim the rights to Bogart that joint or, if that Barnicle guy hogged “las tres*” para el solito.

The “A” Train à Paris is running Late… Yesterday’s news follow., anygüey Kasie Hunt, as Ewe know —i am sure of this— *Las Tres, are the las 3 drags of a cigarette or in Steve’s reference a Mary Jane  hand-rolled joint.

In any case ∴ gremlins ∴ beyond our astral plane of existance are hogging “The Killer’s**” blttle of wine and so technically, because we [the staff] got hung-up on yesterday’s frequeny we bring you yesterdays news… and the good thing is that The Siren Den does not monitor this blog if not, Willie Geist, they be spliting our multiple personality episodes into a Lonesome Shadow: right now it’s 13h25 in CET

** Jerry Lee Lewis.

One Hour after 4:20 in Central Siren Time

Brian Williams

— The staff continues to experience difficulties with the aforementionedaforementioned contingency on the Astral plane. For this reason we continue with yesterday’s news:

Thing One, to quote al telonero*** of The Rachel Maddow Show is an update on the France (FrancMasons) vS. Italy (Fascisti Central) on the Aquarius Bowl:


*** Telonero = Opening Act

Thing Two arrives from the /r/worldnews subreddit in the form of THE TIMES IN ISRAEL, and this, Jon Stewart, is VERBATIM:

A lawmaker from the ruling Likud party said Wednesday that the “Jewish race” is the smartest in the world and possessing of the “highest human capital,” which is why, he said, the Israeli public did not buy into the allegations of wrongdoing by Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu.

Thing Three, also from the same source in Reddit but in the form of THE DAILY MAIL, it happens to be a perfect complement to Thing Two, Mr. Robert Zimmermann and it touches on an Île-de France commune just a few bus stops from the final Mansion of Josephine de Beauharnais à Reuil-Malmaison casi esquina con “el tambo****” de Nanterre:

Paris mayor is warned he will be ‘blown up’ after naming a street in honour of Palestinians

**** “el tambo” = the holding tank

Thing Four — for Four Eyes is The Beat… with George Benson playing on the Background at a QUARTER to SIX: GIVE ME THE NIGHT.

it’s printed in motherfucking Black Bold and in legalese, EWE can not quote what Dave says, and that’s why that pumped-up version of Tyrone Biggums in the role of Samuel L. Jackson, is a Motherfucking —TRAMP! And that’s why a “Father” John Misty claims that “Dissapointing Diamonds Are The Rarest of Them All“… or something like that, Ari Melver.

The following must be read in a Brian Williams voice.

Brian Williams:

— This is coming straight out of the EDITOR’s DESK:

Legal language” on the ticket forces us [the staff] to relay back to you that Michael Che pulled out-ta’ The Wang… just in case Ewe’all wanted to go and see him as the Opening Act for the Chappelle/Stewart Stand-up act, in Mike Barnicle’s backyard.

It’s Li B.S. at  Mingus (flat) and Moaning (in the Age of Trump) is in the scale of Lao.

Right now, motherfucker, OAKLAND is bangin’ over La Seine’s waves TimeStamp:Two Hours after 4:20 in Central Europe Times

The following is a Public Service Announcement in the “age” when Dictators and Totalitarian presidents are “SWELL” guys.

Yesterday’s news… “google it”… right now, the European Trump countermeasures for his stupid aluminium and steel embargo just went into effect, Kentucky Bourbon, Stupid Loud and Unreliable Harley Davidson Motorcycles, and Jeans are on the list, the good thing about the jeans embargo is that manufacturers piece together the jeans in Asia or Centrsl America, and so there is a loophole that allows retailers at Les Halles to laugh at such taxable measures because technically the “jeans” are not arriving from the U.S., plus y’all—if Ewe consider the pirate branding factor—then this embargo is an opportunity for store fronts to make an extra Euro or TEN of ‘em withe every “american” jean sold. This, young students of journo–news at Sciences Po is what Ewer pencil pushing Doctors behind the desk wont push Ewe fuckers to look in what’s behind the News in AN ORDINARY DAY! 

… anygüey, Tonlalito, or something like that follows from a place called Tulusa, o algo así—esperemos que no sea Tulsa, porque eso es otra cosa, eh… we [the staff] owe Ewe all one last screen-grab to complete Yesterday’s News, and then SFC Oddball is going to lead a Full Frontal skirmish countermeasure attack against Brontis à La Prefecture.

AZERTY took a break today.

TimeStamp: 20:00 in Rio Loco time… or something like that.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.