It’s the Maiden Edition of:

The Coronavirus Pandemonium Plus extraVaganza

Synopsis:

Donald John Trump succeeds in taking AMERICA from being the nº One nation in the Western Conference League to the laughing stock of the Swiss Resort Masters Classic, and all the way to the sorriest example of fake Wraslin’ on a very REAL, Eye repeat, VERY (very) REAL MIX-MARTIAL-ARTS contagion(gon).

Scene One: President Trump looks at his “red” iPhone, the president just read a private message from the secure Kremlin special op’s handling team.

[CUT to] President’s Trump red iPhone screen so that the non–reading audience can ignore Vladimir I. Putin’s orders to his most valuable asset (star):

Donald: move to phase three, assemble your future ARMY leaders in one spot so that in the fall, the young lieutenants can start depleting the backbone and crippling the workhorses in the United States National Defense (dream team).

Over at The Little Loo at the parthenon…

[Swipe right to] Mika Brzezinski loosing her lovely voice due to the consistent failure of Cousin Joe to put the toilette seat down. The Brzezinski’s (thanks in part to the patriarch Zbigniew Brzeziński’s adoption of a new Roman trend called “the sewers”) were among the first immigrant families to install the devices in the new world.

And still to come, Aikido Sensei and lead economisicst over at the MSNBC fre[ak]quencies Stephanie Ruhle is making a case to HATE the Capitalist GAME not the players on the conveyor belts at the Tyson Memorial Arena.