BREAKFAST IN AMERICA, 75003
Good morning, America. The following must be read in a Brian Williams voice.
CANADA DROPS AN ATOMIC BOMB ON the state of Florida. It was a bold move and the rest of the Western world applauded the initiative to close all of the “sandbars” and party joints in that fucking state. It killed many, many, —many— nanas and grandPAWS but they were going to die, anyhow. Merci, Canada.
Section Bee Ey, Advertorial (Homes and Chantes*) pg. 34
Tired of having to go to “chez lui” or « chez la », the very French have banded in solidarity to once–and–for–all know the feeling of what those damn Hispanos and Latinos (not the same group of animals), and the good people of Michoacán and Monterrey (an entire separate set of beasts altogether –Now) mean when they utter “I’m going home”, the Entire French nation, including some of their little Frogs, have all sheltered in place, Chez ‘lui’ and Chez ‘la’ in hopes that like falling in love, which the very French invented but have no idea what it feels like To Fall in love, at all, can arrive at knowing what it feels like to have A Home, hommie (and if you are French, the first two letters of HOmmie
is bee pronounced as if one was calling a la puta de Josefina, and not Josephine (pariente de Cousin Joe), a fine girl from the great State of O•H•I•O.
* Chante = /haʊs/ noun. Sinónimo de hogar para los Vatos y las Rucas en dónde existe un núcleo familiar, for the Very–very French, it’s what the Anglos across the Chunnel and/or the Atlantic call a home; Aussi, it could be, the place where “E.T.” called and ran, —that motherfucker— an Astronomical long-distance bill.
In Local (predictable) News:
Radio French Interdepartamental reports from La République, that the initial get-to-know your family nucleus, in an attempt to figure out what IT Means, To Call your « place » a home, is running into an initial brick wall. In a swift response to the problem, the French government is considering prohibiting the sale of Alcohol, yes ladies in germs, Alcohol is now becoming a problem in French places trying to feel what it feels to be a Home and, (oh, the humanity) having to deal with one’s own Children and/or Significant Other on a 24/7 basis in a non–vacation in an exotic land scenario.