The [Russian’s] Apprentice [agent] | PERFORMANCE REVIEW

From TINYpulse® to tinyHANDS.

[The following must be read in a Brian Williams voice
and framed with the talking head visual of Cousin Joe,
in the role of Edward R. Murrow].

“🎵🎵 In Europe and America there’s a growing feeling of HYSTERIA…”, not in Gordo’s wildest dreams of a Blue Turtle would he have thunk that the Ruskies would have the President of The United States in their pocket.

Good afternoon, today is Thursday, July 19 2018.
Today’s report features an exclusive peek at one of the most unheralded tools of international espionage: an agent’s performance review.

… right now, it’s 14h20 in Central NATO Time.
Stick around, we’ll be right back
FYI: Mika & Cousin Joe have the morning off.
Do not adjust your settings, Willie Geist is in Control.

Dear Beck Dorey–Stein;

Why in the Whole Wide World of Sponsored Sports would the Trump Administration require, or WANT a Stenographer in one of the corners??? of the Oval… now that, Willie Gueist is a Curve of a title, eh! Anygüey, we [the staff] failed Geometry so we’re not gonna get into the Angle of Beck Dorey-Stein’s memoire, except to say that Donald Trump would not need a full-time team of stenographers when Vlad “The Man” provided our current president with ‘bugs’ and microphones all over the White House, Trump Tower, and of course, the motherfucking PENTAGON.

Performance Appraisal


  1. Ackerman, S., “U.S. Officials at a Fucking LossOver Latest Russia Sellout“. Via: Persona Non Grata at “the” Daily Beast… with additional reporting with Stein, S.