ÖÜÏ INTERRUPT our “normal” synchronicity programming to bring you an update on the Trafficking of Commando 450 Showerheads… We [the staff of this most non–consequential blog] have it on good Authority to relay to y’all, that Lady Gaga is the “Ring Leader” of this most notorious showehead trafficking ring. It is clear that Lady Gaga adheres to the Number One ruhle of Traffickers: don’t use your own product, which is why Lady Gaga is wrapping her curls with a rubber soul band… Oh, the Humanity!
Indeed, Willie Geist, please relay to Goliath to please stand–by within the confines of Mutt Island while former Congressman Charles Joseph Scarborough (R–FL) does his shimmy dance in celebration of the secure death of Universal Health Care in them United States.
Mean, while Donald John Trump cycles his Tommy–Gun through the World Health Organization and other assorted LEADERS who are actually mitigating his fucking failures as a breathing carbon-based organism (because it is now clear that the son of a bitch has no humanity) former Senator Claire McCass (D–MO) is sending signals that WAR–like PROFITEERING with medical protective supplies is happening behind your local McDonald’s parking lot.
Aussi, Mika Breez, there is a light signal shining from the other side of D.A.T. D.A.R.E green screen lake behind you, but That is not the Issue here, nope, the Issue is that Kasie DC’s background just doesn’t fit her, nope, not at all. D.A.T. D.A.R.E. Pink on Black is, on the other hand, bad ass and sweet at the same time.
Later on the show, Condoleezza breaks in though Susan’s chimney room and places a questionable sofa on that very loud wall paper scheme… for the love of G.U.M… CHANGE THE GREEN SCREEN! CHANGE D.A.T. D.A.R.E. GREEN SCREEN.
But FOist, the following segment is brought to you by CARAMBA Bar. Caramba bar, öüï don’t serve drinks but our bars will give you a Giant sugar high.
Dad jokes in the voice of Cousin Joe
¿Qué le dijo Goliat el filisteo a David el hebreo?
— Güey, ¿Qué honda con esa piedra?
… [Y] el puto de David le respode:
— Culero, no es una piedra, !caramba! Es un saca muelas. Try it out.