This here is a brief intermission in our continuing series: A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the forum, and WHILE WE REMAIN IDLE please accept this, here—motherfucking—ADDENDUM for CREDIT in your ” non-existent” Êtranger affairs.
[The following must be read in an Anderson Cooper’s, EyE can’t believe the motherfucking SyNapSes-es—d’ese_Vato—pinche Chong!]
Note to editors: on this platter, Joe Friday is a lean-mean good looking bleü-ËÿË’d private investigator. Today he’s been summoned by Alejandro Trebek to figure out what the hell happened to the stoned iguana that was featured on one his, “bajita la mano—aquí entre nos”, greatest Tournament of Champiñones unexpected contestant.
The premise d’este rollo is that the real life Anderson (if that is his “real name”) Cooper gets sucked into a dimension where “the” show business industry has to reckon with a backlog of Animal Cruelty reported by PETrA y GaLa on les Mis-en-Scene expuestos around The Globe.
“Excellent to Mint Condition , Appears Never Read, * »
Joe Friday is speaking with the janitor.
— Just the facts mr. Ripley.
— Listen, man… eye just wipe the chalkboards around this here joint clean, that’s all—Eyes Mint— that’s all that Eye—doo. Eye swear.
Ripley is the caste of mutt that one gets after tragically ordering a mix of rosbif and frog legs, and microwaved gazpacho on your lunch box: a despicable Bostonian.
He (Ripley) couldn’t hide the fact that he was sizing Friday up and down with every swipe that slowly but surely erased a board that used to explain the sort of salads that a taboulé raso could be served, or, in the worst case scenario, —accompagné with.
— Look, man, Eye just wish to know if you saw the bunch come into the building?
— That’s all, and then you can get back to your scanning.
— Scanning? Who’s scanning? Just doing my job, man. Eye can’t help it if a few bits and pieces stay inside the disk. It feeds the mind and Eye just wish to ‘wet my beak’. Ewe, dig? SuperStar.
— Yeah, yeah, yeah, like putting Minnie on the Driver’s Seat, doing all right on a Saturday Night and then you’re gonna add that she can ride your car. i’ve seen that churro too, mr. Ripley, now at least tell me which way did they follow.
— Look, all Eye saw was Mr. Scarbourough and his WIFE come in with Willie Geuist wearing a panda suit. Tu tocayo Joe headed over to the Greenroom and his wife headed straight to the boys room.
— How’d ya know it was Willy Geist? And, was smoke coming out of the Boys room?
— He was carrying his head like a helmet, or a football. And, Ewe fucking betch-ya!!! The boys room was Up’ in Smoke, alright.
— Eye see. Any chance that an Iguana might have been smuggled inside of Mr. Geist-es-es Furry Suit?
I’ve Seen more bizarre shit going down this Temple, like the time that a Whale was snuck inside of Mr. Hill’s Plein Cul.